Cato's Obsession
by MorphlingInTheSoap
Summary: **REUPLOADED** When Katniss is sent into the Hunger Games with her best friend Gale, they must work together to try and defeat the sadistic tribute from District 2 who has developed a dangerous obsession for Katniss. **Trigger warning for abuse
1. Chapter 1

I stared dejectedly into the cracked and dirty mirror as my mom pinned my hair up. I was surprised at how well I had cleaned up from hunting earlier. I desperately longed to be in the woods right now, that is where I usually am but not today. Today was the dreaded day- it was reaping day.

Usually I would be concerned for myself or for my friends on a day like this but not today- I didn't have any room for concern for anybody except Prim, my little sister. This was the first year that she was eligible for the reaping and it scared me to death- not that I would let Prim know that.

"Why do we have the hunger games?"

I pulled away from mother and looked at Prim who had asked the question. Prim knew the answer to the question, they went over it in school but I knew that Prim was just nervous and that was why she was asking.

I kneeled down and reached behind Prim to tuck her shirt in. "Well, little duck, you know the answer to that. It's punishment for when the districts rebelled against the capitol. Each district has to send two tributes- a boy and a girl- to an arena to fight to the death as a reminder to never rebel again."

Prim sighed. "I know all that. I just wish that it could be over with. I'm so nervous that I'm going to be picked."

"They won't pick you, Prim. Your name has only been entered once. It won't be you, I promise. Now, go get your shoes. It's time to go."

* * *

I looked out over the gathering crowd with a growing sense of familiar dread that overtook me every year on the day of the reaping. My roaming eyes studied the youngest kids that were gathered together up front, near the stage and got snagged on someone dark and handsome- Gale, my best friend. He was kneeling down next to Prim, hugging her. Prim turned and I could see that she was crying. Before I could take a step forward to go to her I heard the familiar clicking of heels and lilting voice. Effie Trinket washere.

"Good morning! Good morning! Well, well let's get started shall we? Oh, and may the odds be _ever_ in your favor."

There was a muffled shuffling as everyone got into their designated places. I watched as Effie crossed the stage in her magenta dress and pink hair to the bowl holding the slips of the girls' names. She deftly picked one out and returned to center stage. There was a pregnant pause while she read the name on the slip and then.

"Primrose Everdeen."

Those two words rang out into the crisp morning air and echoed eerily into the silence that had fallen upon the huge crowd that was gathered. Those two words echoed dreadfully in my ears. I went into shock, was not able to move except to watch as a little blond girl shuffle her way towards the huge stage. My stomach dropped to my feet and I let out a mangled cry and stepped forward, pushing people out of my way to get to her.

No. This was not happening. This could not be happening. Not to the sweet, innocent, caring, and pure Prim. But it was and I watched in dread as peacemakers closed in on my younger sister.

"I VOLUNTEER!"

Those two words rang in my ears and I stopped walking, wondering who could care enough to volunteer to save my little sister's life. It wasn't until I saw everyone staring at me with their mouths open that I realized that the words had come from me. Another sob escaped my mouth and I lurched forward.

"I volunteer as tribute," I yelled out again for good measure. I stumbled through the crowd and pulled Prim from the grasps of the peacekeepers and into a tight embrace.

"Prim run! Get out of here! Now!" I whispered desperately into her ear. I could feel Peacemakers grabbing at my arms and I pushed Prim away and turned my back on her growing protests.

Stonily, I climbed the stage and stepped into the spot light, joining the oddly dressed Effie Trinket.

"Oh my, my," Effie declared seriously. "Well, this _is_ a big, big surprise we have here. What is your name dear?"

I numbly stared out into the crowd, feeling dead inside. I can't show any fear or emotion to the public- I have to be strong. I can't win this unless I am strong.

"Katniss Everdeen," I mumble into the microphone.

"Oh my, my, Katniss. That must have been your sister." Effie let out a little giggle and proceeded. "Well, congratulations on being district 12's first volunteer ever, my dear!"

I didn't say anything in response- there was nothing to say.

Effie cleared her throat uneasily. "Well, well," she trilled on, "let's see who the boy tribute is going to be, shall we, hmm?"

Effie turned and walked to the bowl holding the white slips. She stirred the slips slightly then plucked one out of the bunch. Returning to the microphone, she quickly opened the slip.

"Peeta Mellark."

Strength fled from me and I wanted to collapse. Not him! Anyone but him! Not the boy with the bread- the boy who had given me hope when I had none! How could I be expected to kill _him_ of all people?

There was a quiet shuffling as people cleared a path for him. Before he could take a step, a deep voice rang out into the morning.

"I volunteer!"

Gasps broke out in the crowd and beside me, Effie let out a delighted cry. I, however, was struggling to stand once again. This could not be happening- Peeta was bad enough, this was unbearable. Recognition flowed through my body at that voice—it was the voice of my very best friend, Gale. A quiet whimper escaped my throat as I watched Gale make his way up on the stage to stand beside me.

"Oh my, my!" Effie sighed excitedly. "Oh dear, what is your name, hmm?"

Gale looked down at Effie, disgust plainly evident on his face. "Gale Hawthorne," he mumbled dejectedly.

"Well, why don't you tell us why you volunteer, Gale?"

Gale turned out to face the audience and lifted his chin, clearly letting Effie know that he wasn't saying anything else.

Effie cleared her throat awkwardly. "Well, can we get a round of applause for our very first two volunteers from district 12?!"

Effie started clapping, letting out a girly giggle, but stopped when she realized that the audience was doing something entirely different than applauding. Every one gathered in the crowd had their index, middle, and ring fingers held out with their right arm raised- a sign of despair and grieving in the districts.

Effie cleared her throat once again. "Well, may I present you with your tributes: Katniss Everdeen and Gale Hawthorne!"

I heard peacekeepers step forward and my hand shot out of its own accord to grasp Gale's. The peacekeepers grasped our arms and tore us from each other as they shoved us down the stairs and towards the justice building. I saw Gale's muscles flex in response to being manhandled by the peacekeepers but he managed to keep his temper in check.

The justice building loomed up in front of us and anxiety bubbled in my stomach. This wasn't happening, was it? The cool air coming out wasn't a comfort to me; it was too cold compared to my overly hot skin. Our footsteps echoed in the big lobby and crowds of people were staring at us. The peacekeepers shoved us roughly across the lobby and towards a hall, depositing us in two separate rooms across the hall from each other.

As soon as i heard the click of the door closing, I was there testing the handle, seeing if it would open. No such luck- it was locked. I crossed to the window, testing it but it too was locked. With a huff, I sat on the chair under the window. A soon as I sank into the chair, the door opened and my mom and Prim were being shoved in. I rose quickly to engulf Prim in a tight hug.

"Katniss, why would you volunteer for me? I can't let you do this," sobbed Prim into my hair.

"Shhhh, Prim. I couldn't let you go- it went against every fiber of my being. It'll be okay, Prim, please stop crying." I heard a silent sob behind me but I ignored my mom. Prim needed me more than my mom did.

"Katniss, please try to win. You can do it, you know. You're strong and you can hunt. You really could win this."

My heart sunk into my stomach. Poor, innocent Prim. There really was no way that I could win this. I knew it but gullible Prim who saw the good in everything didn't. I mumbled reassuringly to her, not having the heart to dash her hopes. I knew I didn't have much time left. I pulled back from Prim, placed a kiss on her forehead and crossed over to my mom.

"Listen, mom, you need to be there for her. Have her gather herbs and hopefully Peeta's family will help you guys out with food." My advice ran into one long sentence. I was in a race against time and I was losing desperately. My mom nodded mutely and tears streamed down her face. I pulled her into a hug.

"Don't cry, mom. Everything will be fine." My voice sounded weak and unsure and my mom hugged me tighter.

I heard the click of the door opening and I spun around to grasp Prim to me before the peacekeepers could usher them out.

"Promise me. Promise me, Katniss, that you will try your hardest to win. Please promise me."

Tears gathered in my eyes, blinding me.

"I promise, Prim."

With that, the peacekeepers grabbed Prim, picking her up and hauled her out of the room. A sob escaped my lips and I sank to my knees, letting tears fall from my eyes.

I don't know how long I stayed there like that but next thing I knew there were arms around me and the smell of cinnamon and bread filled my nose. I stiffened and pulled out of this unwelcome embrace. I looked up to see Peeta kneeling before me. I wiped angrily at my tears, not wanting anyone to see my weakness.

"What are you doing here?" I gasped at him. I have never even talked to him before really. We honestly had had one encounter together and that was _so long_ ago.

"I had to come and see you before you left. I had to tell you something." He looked at me pleadingly and I wiped the last of my tears away.

"Well, what is it, Peeta?"

"Katniss, I- I have feelings for you," he stuttered. "I know we don't really know each other but I had to let you know before you left. If you make it back—I—I just want you to know."

I stared at him, not having anything to say. He took an unsteady breath and went on.

"That's not all I wanted to tell you. I'll take care of her, I promise Katniss. She won't go hungry I swear to you."

A tear fell from my eye and the door burst open one last time, peacekeepers spilling in the room and grabbing Peeta.

"Thank you!" I shouted after him. The door slammed shut in response.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two—The Road to the Capitol

I had been left in that room for a while before the peacekeepers came to get me and take me to the train. I was grateful for the time alone so I could get myself together since I didn't want to be a mess in front of the cameras—sponsors wouldn't want a weak tribute. That's one thing I have learned from watching the games all these years- weak tributes didn't get any sponsors. Not getting sponsors almost always meant that you didn't win and not winning is something I couldn't afford to do—I had promised Prim.

The door opened, and I stand to meet the peacemakers. They charge at me and pull me out of the room. I honestly don't know why they feel the need to manhandle me. They slam the door shut behind us and I find myself face to face with Gale. I am surprised when I feel an unexpected rush of anger towards him. It goes against everything I have ever felt towards Gale. We always get along and are almost always in agreement. I just don't understand why he would do this. Why would he volunteer when he has a family to support? He reaches for my hand.

"Don't touch me," I hiss angrily at him and march away, out of the justice building and straight onto the train, not bothering to stop for the cameras that are crowding the platform. I hear reporters shouting my name out but I grind my teeth together and keep walking—I am in no mood to give them the story they so desperately desire. Once I'm in the arena, they'll get a great show out of me but right now, I can't bring myself to give them what they want.

The elegance of the train takes the breath out of me. I have never seen anything so fine in district 12. After all, we are the poorest district. I take a deep breath and frown, a sharp and out of place smell stinging my nose. It does not match the eloquence of this train car. I look around and find myself staring at the town drunk, Haymitch. Oh great, I had forgotten that he would be my mentor. I can just imagine how _unhelpful_ his drunken advice is going to be to Gale and me.

The car rocks as Gale climbs up behind me. "Katniss, what are you doing? You missed all the cameras! You need to think about sponsors!"

"Shut up, Gale. I don't think one missed camera opportunity is going to matter in the end," I remark bitterly.

"Now that's where you are wrong, sweetheart," Haymitch gets up and drunkenly struts over to the bar, pouring himself something to drink. Putting some ice in his glass, he sits down once more, motioning for Gale and me to do the same.

"Now listen, you two. I usually am not all into this mentor stuff because usually we have no way in hell of winning; but from the looks of this guy here, I'd say that district 12 actually has a chance finally."

I bit my tongue. I have just as much of a chance of winning as Gale (a poor one, when you consider the careers) but Haymitch wouldn't know that because he doesn't know anything about me. I can hunt and when I say that, I mean actually hunt. Give me a bow and arrow and I can get you just about anything that is running through the woods.

"Now as long as you two don't interfere with my drinking, I'll make sure that I'm sober enough to help you guys out. Do we have a deal here?"

What kind of a deal is that? I stare at Haymitch waiting for the laugh at the end of his joke. I'm not too shocked when one doesn't come. I look over at Gale who was already looking at me. He shrugs his shoulders slightly as if to say " _What else can we do?"_ He turns back to Haymitch.

"It's a deal."

Landscapes flash by in a blur of colors and lines. I stare out the window, trying to make sense of the objects streaking past me. I feel Gale behind me but I'm not quite ready to talk to him yet. I'm still mad that he volunteered—I had been counting on him to take care of Prim for me. I press my forehead against the glass, wishing that I could be out there instead of on this train, racing towards my potential death.

"Katniss, please talk to me. I know you're mad but I can explain."

I exhale, my breath fogging up the window and turn to face him, a scowl on my face.

"Please do explain, Gale. Please because _none_ of this is making any sense right now. Isn't it bad enough that I'm going to die? Did we really need to add you into this mess too? I can barely deal with my death. How am I supposed to add the death of my best friend- the person who knows me inside and out to the mix too? Please tell me because I don't know how to do it."

Gale steps forward and pulls me into a hug. I try to pull away but he tightens his grip.

"I'm sorry, Catnip. I really am. But how did you expect me to let you go to your death without trying to help you? You are my best friend- I couldn't do it. No more than you could let Prim do it."

I sigh in defeat—how am I supposed to respond to that? He has appealed to me at a level that I can understand. "I understand that, Gale, but there is no saving me. Careers always win the games and we aren't careers. We aren't getting out of this, Gale, neither one of us is going to be coming home."

"You don't know that, Catnip! I am strong and I taught you almost all the things you know about hunting. And you— you can hunt, you're athletic, and can use a bow and arrow like nobody I have ever seen. Together, we can do this. You can win this. You can't think negatively."

"There is no winning with you there beside me, Gale. Winning means that you are dead and that's no win for me." I pause and pull away from him, anger coursing through me again. "I promised Prim that I would try to win but how can I do that if that means the death of my best friend?"

Gale doesn't have an answer. He simply steps forward and pulls me into another hug and absently rubs my back. That's when it sinks in- I have to decide between Prim and Gale. If I lose, there is no guaranteeing that Gale would win. If I win, Gale would be dead but Prim would be happy. If Gale wins, I'd be dead, Prim wouldn't have me to protect her but Gale would be alive. As far as I was concerned, there is no winning—that much was clear. I sigh at the impracticability of all of it. There is only one thing I can do. In the arena, I'm going to have to go off on my own and let fate take care of things as it may, I'll try my hardest to win but I will not kill Gale and I will not let Gale help me out.

That night, I don't even bother trying to go to bed much to Effie's disapproval. According to her, district 12 will be the shame of all the districts with tributes that look like raccoons and that would be a "big, big problem!" Haymitch rolls his eyes at her and tells her to go powder her wig some more.

All night Gale and I sit up with Haymitch watching the reapings in all of the districts. I sit quietly as faces, names, and ages flash across the screen. Most tributes are insignificant. According to their looks, they pose no threat to me. I see many kids who are really young, underdeveloped, or simply too naïve to be considered a threat. However, the tributes from district 1 and 2 are an exception to that rule. District 1 has Marvel and Glimmer. The boy doesn't look too intimidating to me but with him being a career, I know I would be stupid to not pay attention to him. He is tall and skinny rather than being larger and muscular but I know that behind his lankiness that there is danger. The girl doesn't look to be much either except for the danger glinting in her pretty eyes. Right away I know that sponsors will be falling all over her because she is so pretty with her long blonde hair and thick lips. But I also know that looks can only get you so far in the arena.

District 2 poses the biggest threat to me. The boy, Cato, is tall and muscular like Gale but has fair skin and blonde hair like Peeta. Just by watching the video, I can see the confidence and strength in his walk and can already guess that he is going to be very skilled with weapons. Also, the fact that he volunteered himself is sign that he is someone who should be considered dangerous—especially since he's from district 2. Cameras provide us with a close up of his face and I can see the deadliness in them- killing to him is no big thing. The girl is similar to the boy in this area, one look at her eyes and you can see death in them. She has olive skin and dark hair and is average height for a girl but you can see her toned muscles and I know that facing her in a hand to hand fight would be tough.

The last two tributes to stick with me are the ones from district 11 but not because they are intimidating or anything like that. They both have dark skin and a gentle look in their eyes which is the reason why I can't seem to get them out of my mind. My heart goes out to them for being put it into this insufferable position. The boy is big- bigger than any of the tributes and his muscles are huge but the look in his eyes is so sweet that I just know he wasn't a born killer. Watching the girl is hard for me and in the end I have to get up and leave, not being able to watch it. She is a tiny thing that walks about on her tippy toes as if any moment she would simply take off and fly away. Her age (she has to be 12) and smallness has me thinking of Prim and my heart breaks for this little girl who had no one to volunteer for her.

Leaving Haymitch and Gale to talk about strategies; I steal away to the bar car, looking for an escape from all the anxiety. I am disappointed to see that Haymitch has definitely been here- all the alcohol is gone. I slump down against the wall and place my head in my hands. I am ashamed that I came in here looking for an escape—I really need to be stronger than this but the amount of stress that I feel on my shoulders is threatening to take me down. Today has been the longest day in all my life- even longer than the day that my dad died. I shut my eyes against the memories playing behind my eyes and breathe deeply, fighting them off. I am not going to go there. The crash of thunder outside the train takes me to a different memory instead.

It is cold-so cold and my stomach clenches in pain. Rain pours down onto my head and lightening streaks the sky followed closely by the crashing of thunder. I struggle through the muddy streets of district 12 searching for food in gutters and piles of trash. I am so hungry that I'm even looking in pig troughs— they are all empty. After checking the baker's pig trough, and finding it empty, I sink underneath a nearby tree and lean against its scratchy bark. My mind flits to Prim. I need to find food for her. I don't know how much longer I can stand hearing her cry because she's hungry. Just then I hear a great crash and my head whips to look at the bakery door from where the crash had come from. A little boy is being pushed out the door—it is Peeta—a boy that is in my grade, his cheek is swollen and I can see the outline of a hand on it. In his hands, he is holding two burned loaves bread. My stomach gurgles at the sight. He breaks off the burnt parts and throws it to the pigs. I'm not sure what alerts him to me but suddenly he is looking at me. He glances back at the bakery then turns to look at me again, our eyes meeting through all the rain. Quickly he throws the rest of the bread; it lands in a puddle near my feet. At first all I can do is stare at it—not believing my good fortune then I'm scrambling to grab it before any more damage can be done to it. When I look back up to thank him, Peeta is gone.

Light fills the car and another crash of thunder fills my ears. I lean my head against the wall and let out a deep sigh. Peeta. I'm not quite sure what to think about Peeta. He has feelings for me... That's- interesting. I mean I do like him, he saved me all those years ago but I definitely don't have _feelings_ for him. I don't even know him—I know about him but I don't know _him_. A pain settles in my heart at the lost opportunity. Stupid hunger games.

Light spills into the bar car once again but this time from the hall light and I jump at little as Gale enters and sits next to me on the floor. He doesn't try to put his arm around me and I'm grateful for that. Ever since this whole thing started, he has been hugging me a little too much for my taste. I mean, we're only friends after all.

"Whatcha thinking about, Catnip?"

I sigh slowly, dragging the breath out until it feels like my lungs have completely deflated. "Someone who saved my life once and that I never properly thanked."

Gale sits next to me for a while, not knowing what to say, before he gets up and pulls me up with him. "Hey now, no more negative thoughts. Let's go back. Haymitch is gone and we'll have the car to ourselves. I'm sure we could find some good Capitol propaganda on the TV."

I let out a small laugh and follow behind him, my thoughts wandering back to Peeta. I wish there was a way I could go back to when Peeta had come to visit me. I'd thank him for so much more than just promising to take care of my sister. He took care of me, he changed my whole entire life and he doesn't even know it. I'd tell him just how much that bread meant to me and how much I regretted wasting all this time when I could have spent it getting to know the boy with the bread better.

That night, as the train raced towards the Capitol, Gale and I sat up talking. Not about the arena or anything important- just talking like we did back in district 12 when we spent our days hunting in the woods. When morning came, Effie found me spread out on the couch; my head cradled in Gale's lap, his hand gently resting upon my hair. His head was titled back over the couch, snoring softly.

"Up, up, up you lazy heads! Today is a big, big day! If we are on schedule, we should be arriving to the capitol within the hour. Let's get some breakfast in your stomachs because once we get there you two are going to be busy, busy, busy!"

I shoot up off of Gale's lap, a blush staining my cheeks. I glance down at him to see him rubbing sleep out of his eyes. I take a step bad from the couch. Today is the day. The day that bring me into the lions' den. I shake my head at the ominous thoughts. "None of that, Katniss," I think to myself. "If you're going to win this for Prim, no more of these negative thoughts."

With one more glance at gale, I leave to go to my room to get ready.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three—The Tributes Meet

I stare at the foreign girl in the mirror, trying to find myself in her. I had survived hours of painful waxing, scrubbing, plucking, and brushing and alas! My prep team declares me to be Cinna-Worthy. After all that I had just been through, I hoped that this Cinna person would not make me look like his prep team. To say that their looks were shocking would be a vast understatement. They have weird nails, unnatural skin tone colors, crazy hair, and even crazier makeup on. To be honest, when first seeing them, I had been scared. After spending hours with them though, they had grown on me and I could honestly say that I enjoyed their company even if they were from the capitol.

Meeting Cinna was a shock too- I had been expecting someone who looked similar to my prep team. What I got was a dark skinned, handsome man with only gold eyeliner on to accent the flecks of gold in his eyes. He looked me over and with a pleased look in his eyes, had declared that he would make me and Gale the "most shocking out of all the tributes!" My stomach dropped when he said that and I could just imagine the crazy, over-the-top costume he had designed. Stylists were known to go way over board when it came to styling tribute—we're talking from dressing tributes up in dead animal meat to having them wear nothing at all. Over the years, I had seen pretty much everything and with that in mind, my stomach was doing nervous flip flops.

But alas, here I stand with makeup on and in a tight black outfit that clings to every curve. Sure, it's tight but I honestly don't see how the costume makes me look _shocking_ but who am I to questions a stylist? Cinna stands behind me, a proud grin plastered on his face as he studies my reflection in the mirror.

"Just wait, Katniss, you'll see. You're going to be as radiant as the sun."

I simply smile and follow him out and into the huge room where tributes are slowly filling in. I look around at all the crazy costumes. Marvel and Glimmer are dressed in hot pink outfits that show off the wealth of their district. I see Rue and Thresh, they are wearing blue overalls and some weird crown thing around their head—I suppose my outfit could be worse—it could be _overalls._ My eyes scan the crowd some more, seeing but not really taking in and that's when I see him- Cato.

He is standing by a carriage with his district partner beside him. They are wearing gold togas and are dressed as gladiators—it really is a sight to be seen. They look magnificent. She is talking away while he appears to be rather bored. He is scanning the room, taking in all the costumes. I watch him and blood rushes to my cheeks as his eyes roam closer and closer to me. Suddenly his eyes snap over to me and I'm trapped—I can't move. His eyes narrow on me and a slight grin stretches his face. It sends chills through me and I look down to see goose bumps spread across my arms. It's too bad that he is so deadly because he really is good looking. I look up at him again and he slowly winks at me. I blush and turn away from him. I don't need him unsettling me anymore than I already am; he is only trying to intimidate me and I am not going to let that happen.

I fairly jump out of my skin when Gale comes up behind me and places his hand on my back. I squeak and Gale jumps back in surprise.

"Whoa, Catnip! What's got you all riled up?"

"Sorry Gale. I just am on edge being around all the other tributes."

Gale chuckles. "I'm glad I'm not the only one to feel that way." He takes a deep breath and looks around. "Well, it looks like everyone is getting ready to go. Let's do this thing."

We climb up on our carriage and watch as the other districts start heading out. Right before it's our turn to leave, Cinna comes running up to us with a conniving grin on his face. I instantly don't trust it and I find myself looking around for a way to escape but I know it's no use. I'm just going to have to bite the bullet.

"I hope you guys aren't afraid of fire," he comments blandly before lighting us.

I panic. I almost fall out of the carriage trying to beat the flames out before I realize that I don't feel any pain or any heat for that matter. I grin down at Cinna. He really is a genius. We are going to steal the show in these outfits. We will literally light up the room.

"How?" I ask simply, a stupid grin on my face.

Cinna simply smiles a smug smile and winks as we are pulled towards the roaring of a crowd that I have yet to see. It is time for the capitol to see us at our best. I, for one, do not think that they are prepared.

* * *

"Girl on fire."

"Radiant as the sun."

"Fire girl."

I roll my eyes and strike as hard as I can with the sword I am awkwardly wielding. All day throughout our first day of training, news feeds had been playing in the background. Apparently, Gale and I had stolen the show the other night as we were the only things people were talking about since the parade. Where ever I went comments about the girl on fire followed- even the tributes were talking. Everyone that is, except for Cato.

He simply stood in the shadows, sneering at me every time my eyes found his. Right now he is standing by the weights, showing off the impressive amount of weight that he can easily lift. I, on the other hand, am struggling to figure out how to use a sword efficiently. Finally I give up and accept that I will never be adept with a sword. I decide to move onto knives instead which I find to be much easier. Gale is busy taking a quick look over at the plant table, studying which plants help heal and which are good to eat. When we go hunting, I am the one who always gathers herbs and plants. My mom runs an apothecary and she looks to me to gather the ingredients that she needs. Gale, on the other hand, simply waits patiently while I forage around for what I need. He much rather search for animals nearby then deal with "sissy flowers" as he loves to refer to them as.

I feel eyes on me and look around. No surprise, Cato is staring at me AGAIN but he isn't the only one this time. Behind him, crouching behind some equipment stands a little wisp of a girl- it's Rue. She crouches there, simply looking at me with a slight, insecure frown on her face. I smile softly at her and my eyes unwillingly glide back to Cato who is still staring at me with a dark, angry scowl on his chiseled face. I stare coolly back at him until Clove comes up and draws his attention from me. Things are getting a little weird around here. If Cato isn't staring at me, I'm not quite sure what he's doing because he seems to _always_ be staring.

* * *

The days pass quickly and relentlessly. From sun up to sun down, Gale and I found ourselves in the training center, milking information from the trainers there. Even with all the help, the day of the private sessions loom and I don't feel any more confident than when I had arrived here.

The day ticked by slowly as the tributes each took their turn. Luckily, Cato was fourth to go, so I didn't have to put up with much of his scowls and stares. Eventually, I was up next. Gale and I sat silently, waiting. There wasn't much to say to each other. I was too busy trying to figure out what exactly I was going to do once I got into the gymnasium.

"Katniss, have you decided whether or not you want to join the careers? You know they want us. Cato won't leave me alone for more than hour before he comes looking for an answer."

I sigh and frown. During lunch on the first day of training, Cato had come to where Gale and I were eating, offering us a spot in his alliance. I might have said yes right away if he hadn't looked at me with a dark and dangerous look in his eyes that truly chilled me to the bone.

"I don't know yet, Gale. Something about Cato just doesn't sit right with me. Let me think about it a bit more and I'll tell you tonight."

Gale opens his mouth as if to push the matter more but is interrupted by my name being called. I smile uneasily at him and make my way towards the training room. I feel bad for Gale, he still has it in his mind that we are going to team up together in the arena but in reality, I am planning on getting as far away from him as possible when the games start. I don't want to stick around and worry about protecting him from other tributes or protecting him from myself. I have to focus on myself—for Prim. I have to abandon my best friend for her.

I walk into the room, my footsteps echoing off the walls. The sponsors are up on a balcony looking down at me with what can only be described as bored interest. They all are looking at me but their faces are etched with boredom and I know this can't be good for me. They've been here all day watching sponsors and I'm sure that by now, they just want to go home. I have to make sure they won't forget this—but how am I supposed to do that?

"Katniss Everdeen. District 12." I call out uncertainly. They don't respond- just silently stare at me.

I make my way over to the archery section, eager to get my hands on a bow. I haven't used one since I went hunting the morning of the reaping- Haymitch had insisted that Gale and I not show off our best stuff during training so I dutifully had stayed away.

The sponsors laugh gruffly at me when I pick the bow up and test it in my hands. They haven't seen me use one all training and assume that I will be no good. Well, I'll show them. They're in for quite a shock, that's for sure.

I calmly pick up an arrow, weighing it gingerly in my hand for a second before I notch it in the bow. I take a deep breath, stretch it back and let it fly. There is a burst of laughter that echoes into the room and fills my stomach with iron dread. My arrow has defiantly missed what I had been aiming at. Well, that's no matter. I just have to get used to the bow. I grab another arrow, aim and let it fly. It's a perfect bull's eye. I look up at the sponsors to see that none of them are even looking at me. Instead, they are all gathered around a new roasted pig that has just arrived. Anger courses through my veins. My life is on the line here! Couldn't they pay attention for a little bit?!

I grab another arrow off the table, quickly notch it and stretch the bow back, barely taking any time to aim, I release the arrow. It flies true and straight, whizzing past the head game maker's ear to land snugly in the wall behind the table that held the roasted pig. The apple that had firmly resided in the roasted pig's mouth is now swinging wildly from the end of my arrow.

Slowly and one by one, all heads turn in my direction. Once all are looking at me, I dip into a shallow curtsy.

"Thank you for your time and consideration," I call out, throw the bow down onto the table and march out of the gym, anger slowly draining from my limbs. Once outside the door, I slide down the wall and rest my head on my knees. What have I just done?! My heart sinks pitifully into my stomach and I let out a short moan.

"Hey there, _girl on fire_ ," comes a cool voice form down the hall.

I shoot to my feet and step away from the wall. What is Cato doing here? He should have cleared out of here a long time ago. Tributes were told to report back to their apartment after their private session and to stay there. Leave it to Cato to break the rules.

His handsome face is set into his signature sneer and he steps closer to me, pushing me back against the wall. My heart flips in my chest. Why did I let him get so close to me?

"I've been waiting to get you alone, you know? But there is _always_ someone around you." His hand comes up to slowly brush my hair out of my face. "I hope you have considered the alliance I have offered you, _Katniss_. I usually wouldn't let another tribute consider my offer for such a long time but for _you_ I will make an exception."

My name comes out sarcastically. I take a deep breath and try to pull my face away from his hand but the wall traps me where I am. He leans closer to me, pressing his lips close to my ear.

"You have no idea the kind of protection I can provide you with, fire girl, if you would just accept it." His hand drops from my face to trace softly up my exposed arms.

Disgust and anger flows through my body and fills me with adrenaline. I bring my hands up to his chest and roughly shove him back, causing him to stumble.

"Listen here, _Cato_ ," I spit at him, " _if_ I _needed_ protection, you are the last person I would come to for it. Believe it or not, I can take care of myself. I don't need you and I don't need Gale. All I need is my mentor and my sponsors and I'll be fine. Trust me, when we get in that arena, you better watch _your_ back because I'll be coming for _you_."

With a toss of my hair and a lifted chin, I angrily stomp down the hall towards the elevators. Cato's laughter follows me, sending chills straight to my core.

"Oh, Girl on Fire, you are going to regret that," he calls coolly and calmly after me, sending more chills through my body. "You honestly have no idea how much you are going to regret that."

Fear crawls its way into my body and nests in my stomach. I decide to bypass the elevator and opt for the stairs. I quickly run up them, taking them two at a time. I slam into district 12's apartment and storm angrily past Haymitch and Effie who are waiting for me.

"How'd it go, my dear." Effie calls out after me. I ignore her and the only response to her question that she gets is a slam of my door. I hear Haymitch outside my door but he only stays for a while and leaves without knocking. I stay in my room the whole night, not even coming out to see the results of the private session or for dinner. Gale comes by after dinner and stands outside my door to tell me that I got the highest score- an 11, while he got a 10. I simply roll over on the bed and fall asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four—Before the Storm

They are crowded together and I try my best to ignore them but it is hard because _he_ is a part of their group- my biggest competition. Cato: the career tribute with the blonde hair, thick muscles, and dark scowl that just shouts danger. For once I am able to study him without his scowling eyes on me. I turn my head so that I am able study the whole group better- I am full out staring at them now, there is no hiding it. I just can't understand it- what is _he_ doing talking to President Snow? They are in a deep discussion, arguing about something very heated from the looks and sounds of it.

Loud proclamations of "it cannot be done" and "I've already promised too much already" can be heard from time from time coming from President Snow. Each time that happens, Cato shushes him impatiently. Cato _shushes_ him! From the earnest look on Cato's face it looks like he is trying to plead his case—but what is trying to plead for?

I hear footsteps coming up behind me and I whip my head from the group that is huddled together. I smell him before I see him- the smell of earth and pine needles; it's Gale. He wraps his arm around me and puts his lips next to my ear.

"Whatcha staring at, Catnip?" his breath tickles my ear and I resist the urge to pull away from his embrace that feels so wrong. I plaster a smile on my face- always aware of the eyes of potential sponsors. I turn my head to look up into his eyes and lean forward so he can place a feather-light kiss on my forehead. He wraps his arms around me and I whisper my response to his chest, hiding my face from everyone.

"Oh, you know, just studying the competition. I'm trying to figure out the quickest way out of this whole mess."

Gale knows what mess I am talking about and lets out a hurt sigh, blowing my hair around and tickling my neck. I feel a pang of guilt for hurting him and pull back to study his face. He _is_ handsome– with his olive skin, dark hair and eyes, thick muscles, and his serious and protective personality; there is no way that someone could not think he is attractive... I'll admit that, but while I think he is attractive, I'm not _attracted_ to him. I try, once again, to be attracted to him but I just can't. He is a friend- my very best friend- and my brain just won't let me see him any other way no matter how hard I try.

Gale feels differently than me though. The truth had come out last night during tribute interviews, where he had announced to all of Panem that somewhere along the way, friendship had turned into love for him. My blood still boils just thinking about what Haymitch had done as soon as Gale had stepped off the stage. While I stood rooted to the spot, mouth hanging wide open, Haymitch was slapping Gale across the back congratulating him on his "stroke of brilliance".

"You, my boy, are a genius. This is just GREAT," Haymitch slurred loudly while thumping Gale roughly on his back. Gale stood, steadily staring at me, his face calm and unflinching. I slowly closed my mouth and dropped my head to stare at the floor. This couldn't be happen, could it? Could my best friend actually be in love with me? My fists clenched in anger and I bit the inside of my cheek trying to keep my temper in check.

"That is how we are going to play this," Haymitch declared and I looked up to see him staring at me impatiently. I glanced at Gale's unwavering gaze and dropped my eyes again.

"What are you talking about?" I muttered uncomfortably.

Haymitch let out an annoyed huff of breath from his mouth, the strong stench of alcohol burned in my nose.

"Come on, Katniss! Just picture it: The Star Crossed Lovers from district 12! "

My mouth once again dropped and my head shot up just in time to see that Gale's was hanging open also. His face was flushed but from the look on his face I could see that it was from anger and not embarrassment. His mouth shut with an audible snap of his teeth and he took a deep breath before motioning for us to get on the elevator. The ride up to the twelfth floor was a quiet, tense one. The silence was only broken with Haymitch's drunken heavy breathing that filled the elevator with the sharp smell of alcohol. I breathed a sigh of relief when the elevator pinged, signaling our arrival. The doors slid open filling the elevator with fresh air and the sound of the staccato clicks of Effie's heels as she rushed to us.

"Oh my!" she gushed at us as we unloaded. "What a big, big moment!" she looked at Gale and I pleasantly, totally unaware of the tension in the group. Gale didn't even respond to her. He turned and glared at Haymitch.

"Please do not tell me that we are going to use my feelings for Katniss as a ploy to get sponsors. There is no way that that is going to happen. What I feel for her means too much to be used as a front!"

While I shifted uncomfortably, Haymitch took a determined step towards Gale. "That is exactly what we are going to do. You would be a fool not to! You saw how the crowd ate that up! You guys need all the help that you can get." Haymitch then stepped forward and slung his arm over Gale's shoulders, pulling him away from me and started to whisper to him. Unfortunately for him, his drunkenness caused him to speak loudly, allowing me to hear everything.

"Don't you want her to make it home safe?" Gale's shoulders stiffened, knowing that I could hear everything Haymitch was saying. "You know that this is the best chance she has of getting home. I can sell star crossed lovers easily."

Gale's shoulders sagged under the realization and he turned to lock eyes with me. "Of course I want her to be the one to go home." He paused and took a deep breath, still staring into my eyes. "Okay, let's do this."

I was pulled from my deep reverie by Gale gently shaking my shoulders and smiling.

"Katniss? Are you okay? You're staring at me."

I let out a big sigh and step back from his arms; I am still not comfortable with the whole star crossed lovers arrangement.

"Yeah I'm fine. Just got lost in thought."

Gale lets out a sigh and grabs my hand. "Well let's get this over with, alright?"

My stomach drops. I'm not ready for this. I will never be ready for this. This is the final meeting with President Snow. It's a brand new tradition: the night before the games, a dinner is held for the tributes, mentors, stylists, and sponsors. It's basically a time for the sponsors to be able to talk one-on-one with the tributes before they head out to the arena. It's also when the president goes around and wishes all the tributes good luck in the games.

Gale pulls on my arm and drags me towards the dining room. As we walk, my eyes seek out Cato. He is shaking hands with President Snow and thanking him. I feel my eyebrows furrow in confusion—what is going on here? His eyes flick over and lock with mine. A slow smile spreads across his face as he drops Snow's hand and steps away from him, heading towards the dining room.

I drop my head and stop walking, an uneasy feeling stealing over my whole body. What just happened cannot mean anything good—Cato looked far too pleased with himself.

"I can't do this," I whisper softly to Gale who has continued walking without me.

Gale stops walking and looks back at me, concern in his eyes. He comes up to me, his hands sliding up my arms and back down. I know he's trying to comfort me but it makes me feel worse, this new way of dealing with each other has really thrown me for a loop.

"What is it, Catnip?"

"I can't do this, Gale. I can't face President Snow. I just don't trust myself around him." I don't mention Cato to him because I know I won't be able to accurately explain the way Cato makes me feel.

Gale frowns slightly and bites his bottom lip; his tell that he is at a loss for words. I know he can relate to me— he hates the man more than any person I've ever known.

"Katniss, we _have_ to do this. It really isn't an option. Plus, this is the perfect time for us to snag more sponsors. Haymitch really wants us to sell our star crossed lovers act tonight."

I glare at the floor. I really hate doing this especially since I'm planning to give Gale the slip once the games start. All this work is really pointless, not that Gale knows that. I sigh angrily. I honestly don't see any way around it—even if I did skip this dinner, Effie or Haymitch would track me down a drag me in kicking and screaming. I take a deep breath, wrap Gale's arm around my shoulders, lift my chin and lead us straight into the pack of wolves.

* * *

I stare up at the ceiling as the wind whistles by my window, thoughts racing through my head. Tomorrow. Tomorrow is the big day and anxiety- or was it the after-effects of the alcohol- twist in my stomach until tears blur in my eyes.

" _I could die tomorrow,"_ I think to myself and shiver. " _Stop it,"_ my mind scolds me. " _You don't know that. Not to mention, the dinner went really well tonight,"_ my brain logically explains to me. I'm not really buying it though.

Dinner did go really well though. Sponsors were falling over themselves to talk to Gale and me. At one point during the night, there had literally been a line of sponsors waiting to talk to us—much to Cato's ire. Gale and I had played our parts perfectly. We laughed secretly to each other, gave each other unexpected kisses, held hands, and even danced a couple of slow dances.

After all the sponsors had talked to us, I had found myself oddly alone. Gale was busy talking to President Snow on the other side of the room, Haymitch was raiding the bar, and Effie was off talking about the misfortunes of being in charge of tributes to the other tribute escorts. That left me at our table, knocking back drinks as though I didn't have to get up tomorrow and fight for my life. That's when Cato decided to join me—I guess he got sick of only staring at me as he had been doing all night long. He quickly made his way over to me before I could form a plan for escaping (my abuse of alcohol is to blame for that). Before I could even form a thought, he grabbed my hand and pulled me into the shadows at the back of the room.

"Hey there, Fire Girl," he sneered at me, blowing the smell of alcohol on his breath into my face. "Do you regret turning my offer down yet? I would really like for you to reconsider teaming up with me."

I rolled my eyes at him. When I realized that no one could see us hidden in the shadows I fought to keep my cool. Cato was really intimidating.

"Cato, I wouldn't team up with you even if you and I were the last tributes in the arena and there could be two winners," I declared icily. My little speech slurred together and at the end, I let out a little hiccup—effectively ruining the seriousness of it.

"Oh, my, my, my," Cato mused, Effie-style. "Why, what do we have here? Is Fire Girl _drunk_?!"Cato ran his hand across my cheek and I sucked in a deep breath at the unwelcome contact. My eyes looked around but no one was there to save me.

"Get off me, Cato, or I'll…"

"What are you going to do, Katniss?" He interrupted me, dragging the s in my name out into a hiss. "You can't do anything to me, Kat, not until we get to the arena."

My mind was sluggishly racing—not a very successful combination, believe me—trying to make sense through all of the alcohol that I had consumed. "Yeah, Cato," I slurred drunkenly at him, "you can't do _anything_ to me until we get into the _arena_." Taunting him probably wasn't my best idea—it was tied with my decision to drink myself stupid.

Cato let out a humorless laugh that chilled my blood. "Oh, Katniss, I won't do anything to you—that will leave a mark, that is."

My stomach dropped and I felt heat rush to my face and something making its way up my throat. I was going to be sick. I closed my eyes and licked my dry lips, trying to think of something to prevent him from doing anything to me.

"Cato…" I murmured.

I felt a wave of air against my skin and I opened my eyes to find that Cato was no longer there. Instead, he stood off to the side with a very angry Gale grasping the front of his shirt. He had Cato pulled up so that their faces were only mere inches apart.

"I don't know what you are playing at, Cato, and I honestly find that I don't give a shit but if you don't get the fuck away from Katniss and me—and _stay_ away—I promise you that I will personally beat the crap out of you."

Cato opened his mouth to say something but Gale read his mind and interrupted him before he could even get a sound out.

"Fuck the rule, Cato. I will _demolish_ you and then tell everyone what exactly you were doing to Katniss in the dark little corner here."

Cato didn't respond— he simply stared at Gale. I could see in his eyes, his wheels were turning, trying to think of something to say. Gale didn't give him a chance. He roughly shoved him away and out of the dark corner. There were gasps as Cato fell on top of Effie, tackling her to the ground.

"I'm so sorry," he sputtered at her and quickly exited the dining hall.

Gale led me to the table to pump some liquid and food into my stomach.

"What the hell are you thinking, Katniss? Getting drunk the day before the games? You need to pull yourself together. You promised Prim that you would come home to her."

The mention of Prim instantly sobered me up and just in time too because President Snow took that time to interrupt.

"I do believe you are the only tribute I have left to talk to, my dear," said his cool and uncaring voice. I shuddered a little before clambering to my feet.

My stomach lurched from the stench of roses that was coming off of him. I stepped forward and held out my hand for him to shake. He merely glanced at it and narrowed his eyes at me.

"Well, my dear, I do believe that you are going to have a very- _interesting_ road ahead of you. Good luck." And with that he was gone, his body guards following closely behind him. I sank back down onto my chair and closed my eyes, exhaustion washing over my weary body.

"Please take me up to the apartment, Gale, I just want to sleep. Hopefully I wake in the morning and find that this was all just a twisted nightmare."

Gale doesn't respond except to take my arm and lead me to the elevators.

Now here I lie, wide awake, thoughts racing, with daylight creeping closer and closer. In my mind, I picture death sliding up to rest at my feet like a snake, warning me to watch where I step because it would be waiting for me.

With that thought, I drift off into nightmares where Prim and Cato star.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five—The Storm is upon us

I lie on the cold, hard cot, waiting. Although I am not sure what exactly I am waiting for though. After the flight to the arena, peacekeepers had shoved me into a small, cement room and told me to lie down on the cot and left me to my own devices. I look around. There isn't much here to do here. There is an uncomfortable looking chair next to my metal cot and there is a clear glass tube that runs into the ceiling in the middle of the room.

The door to my room opens and I quickly sit up breathing out a sigh of relief when Cinna steps into the room.

"Cinna," I breathe, relief evident in my voice. I'd much rather Cinna be here with me in my final hour over the drunken Haymitch. I shudder as I imagine Haymitch comforting me with his alcohol breath. Yeah, no thank you but thanks for asking.

Cinna steps forward and grabs my face gently. "Oh, Katniss, what have you done? You look absolutely awful! Did you sleep at all last night?"

I pull away from him, frowning. "Would you be able to sleep if you were me?"

Cinna's expression softens as he looks at me. "I suppose not. Let's get you ready, the games will be starting soon."

Cinna helps me into my outfit and braids my hair to the side—my signature style. I have heard rumors that Capitol citizens have started to wear their hair like this. It makes me sick, they've turned me into some sort of celebrity when in reality, I'm just a girl being sent to her death. Cinna goes as far as curling my eyelashes before I won't let him do any more than that- what's the point?

Suddenly a countdown starts and echoes loudly throughout my small room. The noise fills my ears and sinks into my soul, chilling it through until my lips are chattering and I have goose bumps all over my body.

"30, 29, 28, 27..."

I look at Cinna and smile sadly. He touches my cheek softly; his eyes filling up with unshed tears.

"You'll do great, Katniss, just believe in yourself. I wish you all the luck."

I smile and turn to enter the glass tube. Right before I step in, Cinna pulls me back.

"I almost forgot!" he's pulling something out of his pocket and is offering it to me. I look down and see a gold pin, a mocking jay in the middle of a circle with arrow going through the circle at the bottom. I let out a surprised breath as he pins it to my jacket. It really is rather pretty and being from district 12, I am not used to _pretty._

"It came in the mail today from someone in your district- a Peeta Mellark, I believe was the name. The letter says that it's for luck."

Cinna pushes me into the tube as tears flood my eyes- oh, dear, sweet Peeta. In that moment I mourn the loss of the chance to get to know him better and anger floods through me at the injustice of it all.

The tube lurches and I make a slow rise up into sun so bright, it's blinding. I blink a couple times and look around. The tributes are in a circle, evenly spaced out. In the middle of the circle is a big cornucopia full of supplies. A flash of sunlight glints off of something and I gasp. It's a bow and metal quiver that is filled to max capacity with deadly little arrows. I want it. No, I **NEED** it. I look around and see Gale, he's staring at it too and I know he's going to try to get it for me. Irritation rushes through me. How am I supposed to ditch him if he has the thing I need to survive?

"9-8-7..."

Suddenly there is a deafening noise and a blinding light. A pressure wave passes over me followed closely by a wave of intense heat. Debris start to fall around me and I realize that someone has stepped off their platform too soon; the mine planted around their platform has blown them up.

I look around trying to figure out who it could have been and that's when I lock eyes with Cato and he smiles evilly at me. He motions to the bow and quiver, a nasty glint in his eyes. I pull my eyes from his and roll them in exasperation. That boy really is insufferable! At the last second my eyes lock onto a backpack not too far from me.

" _That's mine_ ," I think to myself. If I can't get my bow, then I **will** get that stupid little backpack.

The air is filled with a ringing- it's time. I take off, my heels digging into the soft earth. The fresh air burns in my gasping lungs but I'm sure that I am making good progress. Right as I reach the backpack, I see arms reaching for what is mine. A growl escapes my throat as I grasp the back pack and tug against a freckled boy from one of the outlying districts- 10 maybe? We lock eyes and I see the fear in them. It's almost enough to make me release the backpack but right at the last second his eyes suddenly go wide and then roll into the back of his head. He drops to the ground at my feet and I leap back, surprised at the knife that is lodged in the back of his neck. My head snaps up and I see Clove staring at me, licking her lips, a knife raised above her head and then it's flying at me. I raise my arms to block it and I hear a thud. Looking down, I see it sticking in my back pack.

"Thanks for the knife," I call tauntingly at her and I quickly sling my backpack around my shoulders and run towards the woods. Another knife goes flying past me and I swear softly as I push myself harder, putting distance between me and Clove who is pulling at her hair and is screaming at the top of her lungs.

I reach the safety of the woods but can hear rustling all around me- I'm not safe yet. I push myself even harder, gasping heavily. I don't know how long I run and stumble through the woods for but when I stop, it's starting to get dark and I have scrapes and bruises all over me. I stop and place my hands on my head, trying to calm my breathing- someone is going to hear me if I don't shut up. After a few minutes, my breathing quiets and that's when I hear it- the sound of rushing water. I'm about to head towards the sound when I hear rustling and cracking of branches. I pull my backpack around and pull the knife out from it. With a hiss I spin around, facing my attacker. I drop the knife when I see who it is. Gale stands there, breathing heavily with my bow and arrow hanging from his hand, a stupid grin on his handsome face.

My mouth drops open and all thoughts flee from my head.

"Gale, what the hell are you doing?! How did you find me?"

He simply shrugs his shoulders. "I don't know; I just knew I couldn't risk not finding you . I simply followed my feet and it's a good thing I did because here I stand and there you stand." He smiles at me. "Don't worry, Catnip, I'd charge through ten tracker jacker nests just to get to you. I won't let you down."

He smiles at me and I want to slap him. I stamp my foot in frustration but bite my tongue. I turn and stomp off towards the sound of water. Breaking from the tree line, I spot a boulder the bank. I sit on it and check my backpack to see what I got: matches, sleeping bag, rope, iodine, empty water bottle, and some glasses.

Gale lets out a whistle. "You got some good stuff there, Catnip"

"What do you want? I'll trade you for the bow." I mutter sullenly.

"The matches."

I look up at him and smile. Of course. Gale never did quite manage to learn how to light a fire which is really surprising seeing as how he is Mr. Nature Boy. I know it's an unfair trade but I don't care- I _need_ that bow.

I open my mouth to agree but he cuts me off before I can get a word out.

"I want the matches and a promise that you will stop trying to ditch me."

My mouth hangs open and I stare at him in disbelief. How did he know? I slowly close my mouth and swallow.

"Deal," I whisper knowing full well that I just sentenced him to his death. It may not be right away, but eventually I know that he'll die because of me.

"Great!" Gale hunkers down beside me and pulls me off the rock and into his arms. I look up into his face, surprise clearly written on mine and see that his eyes are sending me a message to simply go with it and trust him. I clasp my eyes shut and secretly curse the need for sponsors. Gale pulls me closer and gently plants his lips on mine. I feel nothing but the pressure of his lips on mine- I feel no butterflies or any nonsense like that. I breathe a sigh of relief mentally when he pulls away and smiles down at me. He sets me back down on the rock and takes my water bottle to fill it in the river.

"So how many are dead?" I question, hoping that the number will be high so I have less people to kill.

Gale glances at me over his shoulder. "I'm not sure how many or even who really but oddly enough, Clove is dead."

My eyes widen in shock. "Clove? How did that happen? I honestly thought she and Cato would make it the longest."

"This is where it gets really weird. Cato did it," Gale murmurs, almost to himself.

I shake my head in disbelief. "I thought they were on a team," I mutter to myself.

"So did I," Gale responds and gets up from the river's edge, coming to sit next to me again. He reaches into my pack and pulls out the iodine, quickly adding it to the water before placing it back in my pack. "That is until she started screaming about wanting to kill you if it's the last thing she'd do. Cato just lost it. He grabbed a sword and started running at her- that's how I was able to get your bow and arrow; the other careers were too busy staring at Cato in shock- this definitely was **not** planned. Anyway, he grabbed that sword and started running at her. The poor girl didn't know what to do, she never saw that coming. Cato winds up and swings that sword straight at her head- it nearly took her entire head off! The blood got everywhere and I quietly turned the other way and ran off for the woods, to follow you."

I shake my head, dread curling in my stomach. "He wants to do it himself."

"What's that, Catnip?"

"I said Cato wants to do it himself. Kill me. He wants to be the one to do it."

Gale frowns and gets up to start pacing. "I won't let him, Katniss, I swear to you, I'll get him before he gets anywhere near you."

I get up to comfort him, for the sponsors' sake—not mine. "I know, Gale, I know." I pat his back and he sighs deeply.

"Sorry, I just can't stand thinking of you getting hurt."

I take a deep breath, preparing myself for acting. "I know how you feel, Gale. It's the way I feel about you."

His head whips around to search my face. I lean up on my toes and kiss him lightly on the mouth. I mean the words but the kissing is purely for the sponsors. In my mind, I imagine Haymitch giving me thumbs up with a reassuring "way to go, kiddo". I pull away and take a deep breath.

"Now let's set some snares and get a camp set up before night falls."

Gale stares a few seconds at my lips before nodding. I go to set the snares and he stays to catch fish for dinner.

Once the sun has set, I broach the topic about keeping watch. Gale insists on taking the first watch much to my disappointment. I reluctantly agree only because he promises to wake me up later tonight so he can get some sleep. Giving him the weird looking glasses that we have discovered allow you to see in the dark, I give him a chaste kiss and climb up the tallest tree I can find. Climbing as far as I can go, I search for the sturdiest branch there is. Finding one, I tuck myself into my sleeping bag and tie my legs to the branch so I don't roll out of the tree. I look up to the sky just in time for the anthem to start playing.

I watch as faces of fallen tributes are projected onto the sky. The careers must have been busy because many have fallen at the cornucopia today. Both tributes from 3, 7, 9, and 10 are dead; along with the boy tributes from 4 and 5 and the girl from 8. Of course, there is the most disturbing death, the death of Clove by her own district partner. All in all, twelve are dead by the end of this day.

I let out a sad sigh and thank God that Prim isn't here, having to deal with this. I close my eyes and am instantly out.

The next morning dawns bright and early. I stretch lazily out and shade my eyes against the rising sun. Dread fills me as I take in the early morning light. Gale was supposed to have woken me for a night shift. I look over my branch but cannot see the bottom of the tree because of the foliage blocking my way. Panic sets in and I desperately claw at my rope, trying to untie myself. A whimper escapes my throat and my rope is off. I shove it in my bag as I hastily climb down the tree. I drop to the forest floor in a crouch and freeze when I hear movement.

"Well, gees Catnip, why don't you just alert the whole forest that we are here. Why are you being so loud?"

My head snaps up to meet Gale's eyes. Relief flows through me followed closely by anger. I shoot up from my crouched position.

"You idiot, Gale! Why didn't you wake me up?! You scared me to death!"

"I didn't want to wake you. You need your sleep."

I stare at him with a face that says " _and you don't?!" A_ nger courses through my veins and I stomp off into the woods. The last thing I want to be is the cause of Gale's death. Not sleeping so I can is going to kill him. He'll be tired and out of it and make a mistake. I want to turn and yell all this at him but I'm not ready to talk to him yet.

"Katniss wait! Please come back! I'm sorry I scared you!"

I don't stop. I can hear in his voice that he is pleased that I am worried about him and it makes me sick. I don't stop, I keep walking. Screw sponsors, I am mad and the last thing I want to do right now is act like I am in love with Gale Hawthorne.

"Seriously, Katniss, come back. Don't go that way." His voice is serious, but I ignore him still—the jerk deserves the cold shoulder as far as I'm concerned.

"Shut up Gale, before someone hears you," I hiss icily over my shoulder. That's when I hear it- an odd buzzing. It doesn't make me stop walking but it does make me wonder. I look around trying to figure out what could be making that noise while trying at the same time to get as much distance between Gale and me as I possibly can.

"KATNISS, STOP MOVING NOW!"

I take two more steps before I feel it- something isn't right. I take one more step forward and feel as my foot steps on something that caves in. First there is silence- no buzzing, no nothing. Then there is noise everywhere; there is a god awful buzzing noise and then there is pain. Everywhere is pain. I take off running towards the river; my only thought is to get in the water. That's when I hear screaming- no, not only one but three different screams. Two high pitched and one low. I can account for one of those screams, Gale for another, but for the life of me I cannot place who the other scream belongs to. I stumble as the venom works its way into my blood stream.

Colors run together and trees reach out to grab me, slowing me down and laughing at me with huge gasping mouths and eyes that are black as coal. I come up to what should be the river but instead see a huge, thick snake slithering back and forth. It lunges at me and I scream; I turn to go the way I came but see a black cloud of angry buzzing. I turn again, stumble a little and I run forward towards the snake and fall into something cool and soothing. I relax and a happy sigh escapes my lips. I sink down until my face is covered in coolness and realize that I'm not gliding gently down but being sucked incessantly down. It is quicksand, I can feel myself sinking and I struggle against the sucking as it pulls me down. Coolness fills my lungs, stinging, and my vision goes black and I'm gone- floating in some nether world.

I float in blackness that is silent and echoes its silence back at me, mocking me for what seems eternity. That's when I see something- color so bright and pure that I can't wrap my mind around it, the color shifts and changes and suddenly it's Prim— sweet, innocent Prim telling me to win. Please win and come home- she needs me. I step forward to hug her and she changes. She is Prim but isn't at the same time. There is a darkness in this Prim. Suddenly cracks appear all over her and I start to cry, fear squeezing from my eyes in fat tears that burn on the way out. Her face transforms and it's Cato- his evil sneer goes straight to my core. My heart starts to thump quickly, burning a hole in my chest. I scream from the pain and the fear but it's no longer him, he's changing. A light so bright I have to shield my eyes from it erupts from him and then I'm floating, making millions of lights with every breath that I take. It's so beautiful. These lights are so beautiful and peaceful. I want to stay here forever. I see an object in the lights. Floating by me and I smell cinnamon. It's Peeta. I feel warmth all over my body and I feel pressure on my lips. Tingles spread from my lips down my neck and to my fingertips. Kissing Peeta is nice I decide in that moment. He kisses me once more and floats away.

"Wake up, Katniss. Come back to me", he smiles sweetly as he floats away from me and I'm confused- he doesn't sound like Peeta. "Wake up," he whispers and I gasp- that's Gale's voice.

My eyes shoot open and I'm looking into Gale's dark eyes. A mangled moan escapes my lips and I latch onto him, my arms wrap around his neck and I'm sobbing into his neck. He sits back on his heels and rubs my back, whispering soothing words to me.

"What happened?" I choke out.

"You stepped right on a tracker jackers' nest; killed the girl from district 5 in the process. Luckily I was farther behind or we'd both be dead by now. I only got stung twice and took the stingers out right away so I was still able to function. I found you floating in the river and drug you out of it and to safety. You've been out for a couple days."

"I killed someone?"

"Well, the tracker jackers did. Also, the girls from 4 and 6 died while you were out. The careers did that. Came prancing right by our camp, laughing afterwards. I had to set up some safety snares after that. They really got too close for comfort."

I looked around. Our camp? We are under a massive weeping willow whose branches are so weighed down by its leaves that they hang down, touching the ground, basically forming a tree teepee. I study, the leaves carefully. This has to be manmade, I've never seen a weeping willow with such think and heavy foliage. It absolutely blocks us from the outside world unless the wind blows, then you can catch glimpses of us.

I look at Gale, guilt coloring my face red. "I'm sorry for stomping off like that. I really could have gotten us both killed and I'm sorry. I was so mad about you not sleeping and that I was going to be the reason you ended up dead, that I almost killed you."

Gale watches me solemnly, his eyes falling to rest on my lips.

I inhale. I guess I have some time to make up for, I think to myself as I lean towards Gale. Right before my lips touch his, we hear it.

We freeze, hovering inches away from each other lips, our eyes locked. Neither of us breath as we wait, listening for the sound again.

There it is. The sound of multiple footsteps and—laughter its coming straight at our camp but is a little far off still. You can just barely make out what is said.

"I can't believe Cato. He really has gone off the deep end. He's more concerned about finding _her_ than killing off the other tributes," says a high pitched voice- it must be Glimmer.

"Why do you think we ditched him, Glim? That guy _is_ crazy. You saw what he did to Clove. There is no way I'm sticking around so he can do that to me."

I shift slightly so I can peer out through the branches of our hide out. Coming straight towards our camp is Marvel and Glimmer. Marvel has a long spear strapped to his back and Glimmer has some knives attached to a belt and a sword in her hand. I reach behind me for my bow but Gale's hand stops me from picking it up. I shift slightly, frowning at him.

He motions upwards and I get the impression that he wants me to climb the tree. I frown at him again- why do I have to climb to safety while he gets to stay down here to do all the work? It's not that I _want_ to kill people but it shouldn't fall all on Gale. Before I can do anything I hear more footsteps but these are coming from the opposite direction of Glimmer and Marvel.

I look to my left and I see Thresh trying to careful pick his way through the forest, his big, clumsy feet snapping every branch on his way. There is a quiet gasp and I know that the careers have either heard or seen him.

My heartbeat starts to thrum maddeningly as I picture what is about to happen. Just when I have made up my mind to pick up my bow to help Thresh out I hear a low whistling in the air. My head shoots up in time to see a long spear go straight through Thresh's neck. He makes a strangled gurgling noise as blood gushes from the wound. I watch in horror as his hands find the spear and jerk it from his neck. Blood instantly starts to squirt out from his neck. Thresh drops to his knees and falls onto his hands. I hear crashing and then Marvel and Glimmer are standing in my way.

I hear the zing of metal being drawn against metal and in my mind I picture Glimmer rubbing two of her knives together. I watch in horror as they circle Thresh, laughing and spitting at him. Thresh is still bent over, making gurgled noises, and not paying any attention to the two careers. Right as Glimmer makes a lunge for Thresh, I feel someone pulling at me and the loud boom of the cannon goes off—Thresh is dead.

Adrenaline courses through my body and a hiss escapes through my lips. I turn around, shuffling the leaves I am sitting upon to see Gale with a horrified and shocked expression on his face and I just know- the careers have heard me.

I hear a deep gasp and then crashing from behind me. They are heading our way. My eyes shoot to Gale's and his look of horror has been replaced with one of what could be called smugness. I grab my bow from him and I twist around once more in our tiny space to see Marvel as he charges towards our hiding spot. There is no way that he knows where we are—he must only have a _suspicion._

A creaking sound fills the air and a contraption comes swinging up from a hole in the forest floor. A blur of stick and spikes, goes flying towards Marvel's body and there is no stop to it. With sickening noise, Marvel is impaled upon the pallet of tied branches. I don't see it, but from having taught Gale how to make this snare, I know that if I were to look at Marvel's back there would be twelve huge spikes sticking out, having gone all the way through his body. I stare at his face and as a trail of blood trickles delicately from his mouth, a scream fills the air.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six—The Storm Rages on

I stare at the mourning girl in front of me and feel sadness for her. These stupid games cause nothing but misery! My anger towards the Capitol stills my hand and prevents me from taking aim at her. Glimmer whips her head around and stares suspiciously at our tree. I freeze- I don't move, I don't breathe—I don't even blink.

" _She can't see us, she can't see us, she can't see us_ ," I chant to myself in my head. Suddenly the feel of wind against my face- the wind is blowing, moving the foliage all around us and I just know- she has caught a glimpse of us.

She narrows hers eyes at us and clambers to her feet. She lets out a distorted cry and stumbles a bit before she starts a headlong run towards us. Her face is set into a look of crazed determination. My stomach drops and before I can lift my bow to take aim, Gale is running at her. I lower my bow in shock.

"GALE, NO!" I scream uselessly after him.

Glimmer's eyes narrow even more until her eyes are nothing but black slits of evil and death. I see it in slow motion.

First there is the boom of the canon that announces that death has come to Marvel. Glimmer lets out a howl and her hands shoot to her waist where her knives sit. She grabs one in each hand. With a yell she raises her right hand and then swings it down, releasing the knife. Glimmer isn't as good as Clove was- it goes whistling past Gale's head and sinks into the dirt right outside our hide out. In the next second, her left hand goes up and my stomach gurgles in sickness—I know right then that this isn't going to end well and I lurch to my feet, already knowing that I'll be too late. Glimmer brings her hand down and lets the knife fly. I watch in horror as the blade sinks into Gale's left shoulder.

I swing my bow up, arrow already in hand. Just then Glimmer's head snaps to the right. I flick my eyes that direction and am amazed to see a little Rue flying through the air, dropping to the ground, providing me with the distraction I need.

I notch my arrow and let it fly, watching with sick satisfaction as the arrow sinks smoothly into Glimmer's temple. She doesn't make a sound. She simply drops to the forest floor and the cannon goes off in the distance. Glimmer is dead. I shiver as Death enters my body. It gives me a sick rush, being the one to end a person's life and I don't particularly like it.

I rush to Gale who is laying on his back, moaning up at the sky.

"Oh. God. Gale! No, no, nooo!" I slide next to him, my pant knees ripping against the forest floor. I look to the sky "Haymitch, do something for him! Please!" I yell at the unseen cameras—I know they are there, they wouldn't dare miss something like this.

I hear rustling behind me and a hiss erupts from deep within my chest and I whirl around in a protective crouch over Gale. My eyes narrow in on Rue. She holds her tiny hands up, her eyes growing wide with fear. I instantly step down. I could never raise a hand against Rue; she's too much like my Prim.

"Rue, I'm so sorry. It was just instinct."

Rue stares at me, her shoulders hunched like the weight of the world is on them. Poor girl. I turn my head and look down at Gale who is studying my face. A tear escapes my eye and I gently stroke his face. "Oh, Gale, you fool."

"I never realized it was true," Rue mumbles almost to herself.

"That what was true?"

"That you two were actually in love. I can see it now."

My face flushes- love? No. I bite my lip from explaining, I really need sponsors help right now. Explaining our friendship to her would get me nowhere fast.

I look down at his wound- it wouldn't be too serious if we were at home. My mom could fix him up with a few stitches and some herbs to prevent infection. Here in the arena, it's a ticking time bomb; with nothing to stitch it up with and nothing to prevent infection. It's going to get worse and worse until he dies. I sigh and pull his head into my lap, running my hands through his hair. I lean down and gingerly place a kiss on his lips. I start to pull away but he makes a noise in the back of his throat that sounds like a protest. I lean down again and suddenly we are kissing- really kissing. My fear of him dying, driving me to do what I would usually never do. My tongue slips into his mouth and he groans slightly. I jerk up, a squeak escaping my mouth. I had hurt him.

"Shhh! Listen! Do you hear that?" Rue whispers urgently at my elbow- when did she get that close?

I listen and hear it. A high pitched beep fills the air. I look up and see a small parachute- the sponsors sent me something! It falls to the floor by Gale and  
I hurriedly open it up. There, in the metal container is a cylinder holding medicine it also holds a note.

" _Wash, then put meds on. Keep up the good work, lover girl._

 _-H_ "

I look down at Gale. Here comes the fun part. I pull my water bottle from my bag and take a deep breath.

"Gale, this is going to hurt but we have to do this. I have to take the knife out and get your shirt off. We need to clean the wound."

"Okay," he croaks out miserably—he has been rather quiet through this whole ordeal.

"Okay," I reply breathlessly.

My hands are shaking so I take a few seconds to calm myself then I wrap my hands around the knife. With one more glance at his face I pull the knife out quickly.

Gale lets out a scream of pain and Rue is immediately there shoving some kind of cloth into his mouth. Gale's eyes roll around wildly in his head. Blood is gushing from his wound and the sight of it makes me a little sick.

"Okay, Gale, I need you to sit up, we have to get your shirt off so I can get to the wound to clean it."

Gale mumbles some sort of confirmation so I go ahead and help gale sit up, a sweat breaking out on my forehead as I try to hold up his weight. His shirt is off and he falls, exhausted to the ground. I think he might be going into shock. I bite my lip and pray it isn't so.

I open my water bottle and gently drizzle water over his wound. Gale lets out a muffled moan and he glares up at me. The pain of this is enough to pull him from his loopy pained state though and I am relieved—I can see it in his eyes, they aren't fogged over with pain; they are sharpened with it instead.

"Okay Gale, I'm going to put the medicine on your wound now. Please try not to scream."

Gale spits out the cloth from his mouth. "Get it over with, Catnip, I'll be fine."

I let out a weak laugh and quickly open the medicine I dip my fingers in it and find that it is sticky like glue. I gently wipe some over his wound and Gale stiffens at the contact. I dip my hand back into medicine and wipe some more onto his wound for good measure.

Gale lets out a relieved sigh. "That feels good. It's actually taking the pain away," I smile gently down at him.

"That's good Gale."

His sits up and I help to scoot him so that he's leaning against a nearby tree. He lets out a sigh, closing his eyes momentarily. I sit next to him, staring at his face, memorizing it. I could have lost him. My Gale— my best friend. Suddenly I am shaking and I fight back a sob- I can't be weak. Gale's eyes find mine and he knows. He knows how shaken up I am. His eyes drop to my lips and I lunge at him, molding my lips to his. His uninjured arm sneaks up behind my back and pulls me closer to him so that I'm sitting across his lap, my shoulder rubbing right against his perfectly sculpted chest. He has no hair on his chest but under his navel, there is a trail of scattering hair that makes me blush when I look at it. The close contact clears my brain and I try to pull away- what am I doing? Gale tightens his arms and doesn't let me escape his lips until Rue clears her throat. I scramble from his lap, a blush on my cheeks. That girl is too quiet for her own good!

"We need to move so they can pick up the bodies," Rue quietly says. She's right. I cover Gale's wound with cloth ripped from my jeans and I help him put his shirt back on.

We settle in a cave a little ways from the river. I don't particularly like it because it's by a huge waterfall, the noise of which drowns out any approaching footsteps that could be heard in advance. However, Gale needs a place to rest and it's the only option I have at the moment.

I settle Gale in and he quickly drops off to sleep. Rue and I decide to leave him there to go and rummage through some berry bushes that we saw nearby. She chatters quietly to me as we pick and I fight off tears because she reminds me of Prim so much. We see the boy from district 6 pass by but we opt to sink low to the ground as he passes- there has been too much death today and I don't think I could stand seeing anyone else die right now. We stay crouched down for the next fifteen minutes, not daring to move. After that we decide that we have picked enough berries and we quickly hurry back to the cave to find Gale up and moving about the cave. He looks rather flustered and agitated when we arrive.

"What are you doing Gale?"

"Oh, Christ, Katniss. I didn't know where you were. I was about to come looking for you,"

"Well I'm here so sit down and rest. I've got some berries for us to munch on—I know it's not much but after today, this is all I have the energy to get for us. Sorry it's not meat. I'll go hunting tomorrow for us. It's getting to be too dark right now anyway and I wouldn't be able to start a fire to cook it without letting everyone know right where we are. Oh, we saw the boy from district 6 pass by so be careful if you do end up going out..." I trail off not sure what else to say. There's an awkwardness between Gale and I now. I know it's my fault. I'm not sure how to act around him after those heated kisses. My feelings towards him haven't changed at all and I'm afraid that he thinks they have.

Gale silently looks at me, a sad look in his eyes.

"So..." Rue breathes out, trying to break the tense silence that has filled the cave. "It looks like you guys got some good sponsors."

I look at her. She's right. Getting medicine is a big deal in the arena.

"Yeah, I'm actually surprised that Haymitch sent us medicine. It's probably because he hasn't sent us anything yet."

"That's not true Katniss. When you got stung by all those tracker jackets, I had drug you out of the river and laid you right by this huge bush. I remember learning something in training about a certain leaf that could heal tracker jacker stings so I tucked you under that bush and went searching. I found lots of leaves that I knew did _something_ I just wasn't sure what. I had narrowed it down to two when I heard this beeping and a parachute drifted by me. I snatched it out of the air and in the container, I found a leaf with a note." he blushes and looks down. Why is he blushing?

I pass the berries around and ask, "What did the note say?"

Gale laughs weakly, taking a hand full of berries and plopping them into his mouth one-by-one. "It said _'those will kill her. Start at the beginning and look for what was given to you._ ' I sat there a while not exactly sure what he meant by start at the beginning... Was I supposed to go back to the cornucopia? I knew what he meant by 'what was given to you'—he obviously meant the leaf. But the start at the beginning thing—it had me scratching my head. Well I couldn't think of what else he could mean by it so I went back to get you settled somewhere I felt was safer when I saw it- I'd hidden you under the bush that would save your life."

I let out a loud laugh and shake my head at his stroke of stupidity. "Well thank goodness for Haymitch," I mumble.

"No, thank goodness for sponsors," Gale insists and I look at him. His face says it all. I need to get my act together because we need to impress the sponsors. I nod slightly at him, letting him know that I understand.

Darkness falls in the cave and Rue curls into a little ball and falls asleep instantly. I cover her with my sleeping bag and I cross to Gale as he lies down. I look to him, a question on my face. He nods curtly and I tuck myself against him, my head settling on his arm. I feel his lips on my hair and they linger there until I drift off to sleep.

I wake early the next morning. I shake Gale softly to check his wound and to let him know that I'm going hunting. His wound looks fine and is almost completely healed—thank you medicine. When I murmur my plans to him softly, he mumbles and waves his hand at me, rolls over and falls asleep again. I tuck the sleeping bag under Rue's chin and then I'm off.

I step out of cave and am awestruck by the beauty of this morning. Mist from the gushing waterfall is suspended in the air, catching the rays of the rising sun. Millions of rainbows suspended in the air that stick to your skin when you walk through them. I take a deep breath and savor the sight of this morning- who knows how many more I will have?

I make it a quick morning, snagging a river otter, a small squirrel, and some berries. I cook the meat away from the cave, not wanting to draw predators close to our haven. On the way back, I gather lots of vines to possibly tie into a net that will catch some fish for tomorrow morning.

Entering the cave, I find Gale alone sharpening a knife against a rock. I eye the rock warily, something about it rubbing me the wrong way. Maybe it's the fact that it could be used as a weapon. I shake my head, clearing those thoughts from my brain.

"Where is Rue?"

"Gathering plants—she's trying to find something to ease the itchiness of a rash that she miraculously developed over night. I tried to go with her but that little girl is too fast. She started making excuses and edging towards the exit. Then mid-sentence she turned and zipped right out. By the time I got to the entrance, she was nowhere to be seen!" Gale lets out a laugh, places knife and rock on the ground and runs his hands through his hair.

"You probably intimidated her. Were you holding a knife and a rock in your hand when you offered to go with her?" Gale's blush answers the question for me—yes, he had. "Well, I wouldn't want to be around you either if I was her." I laugh and sit down, my stomach growling. I can't remember the last time I had any meat.

We agree to split the food evenly, making sure everyone got their fair share. By the time Gale and I got done eating, I noticed that Rue's pile had miraculously grown in size. In the silence that follows our meal, I bring up my idea of the net to Gale. He agrees that it's a good idea and we set to work, tying the vines together.

Rue skips into the cave and lets out a relieved breath when she sees me.

"Oh, Katniss, you're back."

I smile and open my arms to her. She crosses quickly and I hug her, my heart breaking for her because no one volunteered for her.

"What's that smell," she asks shyly.

"I brought you some food back."

She drops to her knees, her eyes wide.

"Oh, Katniss, thank you!"

She gently picks up the squirrel and eyes it longingly and slowly sinks her teeth into. A satisfied groan emits from her small frame and she smiles.

"So how's that rash," Gale asks innocently.

Rue blushes and looks at the floor, not answering him. Gale chuckles and continues working on the net.

I settle down next to Gale and get to work on the net; Rue joins us after she eats her fill. It takes all day but just as crickets start chirping outside, we finish. I get up and stretch.

"I'm going to get this set up in the river so we can have a big selection tomorrow morning."

"Katniss, let me do it, you've been doing too much already," says Gale as he get up.

"Gale, sit down and rest. I'll let you go hunting tomorrow but you still need to rest tomorrow."

Gale frowns at me and I lean down to place a quick kiss on his brow. I walk towards the entrance and hear him following me but he goes no farther than to simply linger by the entrance, watching me.

I wander to the river, the deafening rush of the river drowning out all other sounds. I feel relieved knowing that Gale is watching my back. I get to work pinning the net down with big rocks. The roar of the river plays with my head. I keep hearing my name being called but know that no one is saying my name- Gale wouldn't be stupid enough to be yelling, people could find us that way.

I place the last rock on the net and am getting ready to pin down the other side of the net down on the other side of the river when suddenly I am falling- I've been pushed into the river! At first I think that it's Gale being silly. I come up gasping, a smile on my face just in time for my head to pushed under the water again. Someone is trying to drown me! I freak out. My legs kick out and my fingers scratch at the hand that is placed on my head. My feet touch the bottom of the river and push angrily against it, shooting up out of the water and away from my attacker. I am shocked to see the boy from district 6 standing in the river with me, the current swirling angrily around our knees.

He has long brown hair that hangs soggily into his eyes. He is a slim thing but he has toned muscles, I think I can take him. I take a step back and slip, falling back into the water, the current floating me downstream a little. I come up in time for a huge wave of water to drench me. I shoot to my feet and scramble onto the bank. I turn to face to my attacker and am shocked to see Gale huddled over him, his hands wrapped snugly around his neck, shoving his head under the water. I fall back onto my butt and take deep breaths. I feel bile rising in my throat and turn to vomit. Cries erupt from my scratchy throat. I am coughing up water and vomiting. I feel a hand on my shoulder and scramble back. Its Gale his hand is outstretched towards me. I eye it warily and try to block out the image of him drowning the boy. I glance behind him to see the body slowly float down the river. I glance up at Gale and see what I saw in myself yesterday in his eyes after I had killed Glimmer. Death dances in his eyes and I realize we are the same. We are survivors, no we are killers—we are Death.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven—Enter the Reaper

Rue and I walk quietly, eyes probing into the dark of the forest, searching for death between trees and bushes. My muscles clench in anticipation and anxiety. Something doesn't feel right.

Gale set off early this morning to go hunting on the opposite side of the river. Having had been plagued all night by nightmares, I had held him close before he left and it was for my benefit—not for the sponsors. He has a calming effect on me that I need. He crossed the river and turned to give me one last wave before disappearing into the trees.

Rue and I had decided over breakfast that we would go scope out where the rest of the tributes were—after all, only two were left. Cato and an average sized boy from district 8. We both awkwardly danced around the fact that after they were taken out, we'd have to figure out what to do with each other. I knew I couldn't kill her and that if it came down to me, Gale, and Rue; I wouldn't be able to lift a finger to either of them.

Rue and I walked, silently through the woods, our thoughts keeping us occupied. It was a comfortable silence for the most part.

"I think we could get a better view of things from higher up. I say we climb a tree," says Rue. She motions to a tree that is to right. I study it and like what I see.

It is tall with strong, sturdy branches. It's the healthiest tree in this part of the woods. The ones close to it are big too but most of their branches are skinny and the bigger ones are few and far between. I nod my approval to her and follow her up the tree.

She pauses on a high up branch that can hold us both at the same time and I sit next to her on it, studying the forest around us. It is quiet and peaceful, the branches of the trees swaying gently in the cool breeze.

"Well, I don't see anyone," I comment lamely.

"Neither do I," Rue says, laughing slightly. "I thought for sure that we would be able to see _something_ up here. I guess I was wrong."

I turn my head and gasp softly. There is something coming- I'm just not sure _what_ it is. It's a light coming from far off in the woods it almost looks like the sun is setting and a brilliant orange is being thrown up into the sky. But it couldn't be that—the sun wasn't setting, it's high above our heads right now, beating relentlessly on our heads. I drop my gaze a little and freeze as something steps out from the brush. Cato.

The branches sway slightly under me as I nudge Rue in the shoulder. I reach around for my bow when a huge gust of wind rocks me, almost toppling me off the branch. That's when I smell it- smoke. I whip my head towards the light in the woods and my stomach drops. A fire and its gaining fast on us. The wind picks up and rocks us around high up in the tree. Rue grips the branch and whimper escapes her mouth. I glance down and my blood freezes. Cato is standing at the trunk of our tree, gazing up at us, an odd smile on his face.

"Why, hello there, Katniss. I have been searching for you. Are you ready to regret how you have treated me?"

My temper flares. "No, I'm not quite ready yet, Cato. You see, I feel quite confident in my choice of partners. Too bad Clove can't say the same, can she?"

Cato's jaw drops at my blatant taunting.

The wind picks up even more and I am starting to feel the heat of the fire on my back. I look back down to see Cato swiftly climbing the tree. Well, crap. That plan backfired.

"Katniss, we are going to have to jump," Rue declares as she watches Cato climb.

I stare at her in shock, my gaze traveling to the questionable tree to our right—the only one close enough for us to jump to. I see a branch that looks like it could hold our weight. Rue sees what I'm looking at and starts to get up.

"Wait, let him get closer. Rue, listen to me, this is going to be a close one. We're jumping onto that tree over there," I motion with my chin and Rue turns to look at it once again. "Now, listen, once you get in that tree, climb down as fast as you can and run for the river. That fire is coming and it's coming fast. Get to the other side of the river. You should be safe there. Hide and wait for me, Rue. Do you understand?"

Rue nods her head at me, fear in her deep brown eyes. I look down; Cato is half way to us. The wind picks up even more and I realize that if it gets any worse, we won't be able to jump to the other tree safely.

"Rue, jump now," I scream at her

Rue looks at me, confusion on her face.

"You told me to wait..."

"I know. But you need to go now before the wind gets worse. Cato wants me, not you; I'll stay and distract him." I look down and can't believing how fast he is gaining on us.

Rue wraps her little arms around me and presses a kiss to my cheek.

"Thank you, Katniss."

I feel the heat of the fire on my back and the coolness as the wind violent rips at my braid.

"Just go, Rue!" I shout at her.

Rue shimmies over the edge of our branch and takes a deep breath. Light streaks the sky and a horrible crash follows it- the game makers are throwing everything at us: fire, wind, and rain.

Rue leans forward and dread rushes through my body. A huge gust of wind rocks the whole tree right as she jumps. She's not going to make it and we are too high; Rue shrieks, her arms flailing as she desperately reaches for the branch she was aiming for. The leaves brush against her hand, tauntingly as she rushes towards the ground.

A heart wrenching scream tears out of my throat and I hear a sickening thud but no cannon- she's alive! I shoot up from my sitting position but get pulled down. Crap! Cato has my ankle. I glance down at his grinning face. I lift my bow and bring it down on his face I have to whack him a couple times before he lets go. He lets go of my ankle with a loud curse. I have to get away. The heat of the fire is burning me now; I hear loud popping as trees fall to the roaring fire. I run down the branch, wind tearing at my clothes. I feel the branch shake under me as Cato clambers onto it and runs after me. I take the lunge and free fall through the air; the branch that Rue was aiming for quickly coming at me. My chest hits it and I can't breathe I'm surprised that I haven't broken a rib from the impact. I latch onto the branch with my hands and swing my legs up and over, pulling myself to safety. Then I'm running for the trunk of the tree and swinging from branch to branch as I make my decent. My feet hit the floor and I glance at Rue. She is lying on the ground, not moving. I take a step towards her and hear the thud of feet hitting the forest floor. Cato has made it safely down the tree.

I turn and run towards the river, a sob escaping my throat. Rue, Rue, Rue!

I run as branches rip at my clothes, and wind tears at my hair. I look behind me but don't see Cato. I hear a high pitched, tortured screaming. Rue! I stop but have to continue when I head crashing footsteps chasing me through the forest—if Cato is chasing me, what is making Rue scream? Suddenly the screaming is gone and the cannon goes off. I hear the popping of the fire and know that that is what got her. Another sob escapes from my mouth and then I'm running, tears streaming down my face.

I can hear the rushing of the river, the roaring of the waterfall, the rumbling of thunder exploding over my head, and the crashing of the wind as branches break from the strength of the gusts. With all this noise, I don't hear Cato and that scares me more than anything else. I glance around and my eyes settle on the thorny bushes, lining the river bank. This is my only chance. I have to hide until Cato passes. I duck down and crawl under the bush, thorns tearing at my skin and drawing blood. I push the pain from my head and turn to keep my eyes on the river. Cato passes right by me and heads upstream. I watch in shock as he meets up with the boy from district 8. What the hell?

Cato motions to the tree line and then to the opposite side of the river, he points in the river and the boy nods. Cato then takes off into the woods, towards the fire. I breathe a sigh of relief and watch as the boy stoops down and plucks a rock the size of a grapefruit out of the river and heads into the forest after Cato.

I stay where I am at, simply breathing; trying to calm my racing heart and my gasping breaths. I watch as rain starts to fall, gently at first and then into a torrential down pour. Lightning strikes across the river and I am momentarily blinded by the light. The crack of the thunder that follows has me covering my ears. I need to get to cover. Right before I move to crawl from underneath the bush, I see him. Gale. He's upstream with two foxes slung over his shoulder, running through the rain. I scramble to climb out from under the bush, my jacket getting momentarily caught in the thorns. I pull away from the bush and hear the rip as the backside of my jackets rips open. I step into the rain and watch as Gale steps into the river. I open my mouth to call to him when the boy from district 8 steps out from the tree line. My mouth snaps shut and my heart explodes in my chest. Oh no.

"GALE!" I scream desperately.

Gale's head snaps up and he sees me but it's too late; Gale fails to see the boy, leaving himself utterly exposed to his attack. I fall to my knees as the boy launches the rock at his head. It hits him right in the temple. Gale stumbles, falling into the river. He tries to gain his balance back but fails and falls back. I watch in horror as his head collides with a huge rock that is jutting out in the middle of the river with a loud whack. The cannon sounds and I scream. I don't care who hears me and I don't care if I die.

All thought leaves my body and I feel Death fill my arms and legs. I pull my bow from my back and reach for an arrow only to find that there are none in my quiver—they must have fallen out when I was running. No matter; that won't stop me from what I _need_ to do.

With a scream of rage I charge. The boy turns and sees me running at him. He throws his hands up in surrender but that doesn't stop me. Neither does the fact that he has nothing to defend himself with. In that moment I don't care. In that moment I am Death and I will not be stopped until I get what my soul longs for- blood.

With a scream filled with despair and agony, I swing my bow straight for his head. With a smack, he falls to the ground and thunder rolls loudly above my upraised bow. Crying out like a crazed animal, I lift my bow and repeatedly beat him with it as cries and curses fly from my lips. I curse him. As he dies, I curse him to the deepest levels of hell.

Blood slings back into my face, my hair, my eyes, my mouth is filled with his blood and it feels amazing to get my revenge. A cannon goes off, telling me that he is dead but I don't stop. I beat him and beat him until my bow is a useless, broken stick in my hands. I throw it to the ground and drop beside the boy, this time pummeling his corpse with my fists and nails. Lightening lights the sky, showing me my kill. Thunder rolls angrily and I stumble to my feet, feeling nothing but the furious pounding of my heart. Rain pours down on me, washing more blood into my mouth but I don't spit, I savor the taste- I don't care. I am Death, I am savage and nothing matters anymore. Gale is gone and nothing matters.

I turn towards the river intending to hunt down Gale's body—I need to say goodbye. I need to hold my best friend and let my tears run over his dead face. I turn but pull up short. Cato stands in front of me a huge grin on his face. His face is scratched and bleeding where I hit him with my bow; he even has a bruised cheek but other than that, he looks fine. I study him and I'm disgusted to see that he likes seeing my like this.

My heart beats calmly as I take in my prey. My eyes drop to the ground at my feet, disgust rolling through me. My eyes lock on a good sized rock not far from my foot. Right when I make up my mind to lunge for it, he speaks calmly and coolly—his tone matches how I feel inside. It is dead and so am I.

"I wouldn't do that, Katniss." he says calmly as if we aren't the only two people left in the arena, as if we aren't about to fight to the death. He walks around me, gently kicking the corpse of the boy I killed.

"I'm so glad you killed him. I can't tell you how _annoying_ he was. I hated his guts but I needed his help. You see, I had to get you alone. He helped me seek out and kill the rest of the tributes. Luckily, you guys took out the other careers so I didn't have to. I was so _afraid_ that they would get to you before I could. This boy—I don't even know his name, isn't that great?—well, he wanted to go after you. I had to talk him out of it, I didn't want him messing up my plan by going to that cave and killing you before I got a chance to get my hands on you."

I gasp and he laughs cruelly.

"Oh, Katniss, this is priceless. You honestly thought I didn't know where you were this whole time?" he laughs again and steps closer to me. I step back and feel the water from the river rushing over my foot.

"Oh, no, no, no, Katniss. I knew where you were from the very beginning. I'm very good at tracking, you see. I've always known. Let's see, first you were under some bush. But my God you look hideous with all those tracker jacker stings all over you. I couldn't bring myself to look at you for more than a minute let alone _touch_ you. No, no, you wouldn't do like that. I needed you awake and aware. Hmmm... Let's see. Next you were hiding under that tree. It made me sick watching that _boy_ take care of you but he was unknowingly helping me with my plan so I saw no use to hurt him yet. As long as he kept you safe, I was no threat to him. Then, oh yes, there is the cave. Let me tell you, it was really hard to watch you in that place with _him_. But I knew nothing was going on because that girl was there and you guys wouldn't do anything in front of her." Cato pauses and stares at me again with this look of longing on his face. "Oh, Katniss, I have waited so _long_ for this. I hated waiting, you know. But I _had_ to. I had to wait for everyone else to be out of the way. I promised him that I would wait"

Who is he talking about? I bite my tongue and edge a little farther from him, into the river.

He sees my movement and takes another step towards me. I turn and dive into the river. I'd rather die than let him touch me. I surface and start swimming furiously, heading towards the waterfall. I swear that I hear laughter but I ignore it.

The roar of the water fall grows until I swear I am going to go deaf by it. The current pulls at me, sucking me faster towards the waterfall. Do I really want to do this? Do I want to end this myself before he does? Before I can decide I am being pulled up by my hair. I let out a scream and twist around, my hands reaching and raking down Cato's face. I feel a searing pain and I go flying into the river again. He had slapped me. I stagger to my feet and turn to face him. He lunges and grabs my hair again.

"Oh, fire girl, I don't know why you fight me so much. If you would just surrender to me, things would go so much better for you. Why don't you trust me?"

I scream and kick at him. I can't stand the thought of Prim watching this pervert playing with his prey before the kill. Prim! The thought of her drives my will back into my body.

"Just kill me already, Cato," I scream at him, hoping to keep him talking.

He lets go of my hair and pushes me back so I'm sitting on my butt in the river, fighting against the current. It sucks at me, wanting to pull me closer to him. I dig my heels into the soft bottom of the river.

"Oh, Katniss, I'm not going to kill you."

He steps towards me and I see my chance. I lift my butt and bring my leg swinging towards his legs, kicking his legs out from under him. He lets out a startled cry and he falls on his back. I am up and running at him I jump on him, pushing his head under the water, the current pulls us closer to the edge of the waterfall. We're going to go over and there is no stopping it. Right before we go over, Cato's fist finds my eye and my head whips to the right and then we are falling, clinging to each other as we fall and fall and fall.

Smack! Pain everywhere, water everywhere, legs and arms everywhere. The pounding of the waterfall loosens my grip and I lose track of Cato. I'm being cycled under the waterfall, I need air. I open my mouth and water invades, filling my lungs and making me cough but it's no use. I'm stuck under the waterfall being scrapped and pulled against the rocks at the bottom. Black splotches float in my vision and I know that it's about to end.

" _I'm sorry Prim,"_ I think calmly to myself.

I make one last effort. My feet find something solid and I push with all my might against it. I shoot through the water and suddenly there is air. I can feel it against my face. I start coughing, blindly swimming trying to find solid land. The waterfall is thundering around me, echoing back into my face and ears. I'm at a loss. Where am I?

My feet scratch against something and I pull myself onto solid, cold, wet, hard rock. I cough, water spilling from my mouth. A boom fills my ear- the cannon! And there is a voice that echoes loudly all around me.

"May I present to you the winner of the..." the announcer's voice gets lost in the roar of the waterfall but it doesn't matter because I won!

I stumble to my feet, looking around. I'm in a cave behind the waterfall. I turn to find a way out of this cave when there is a sting in my arm, I look down to see a syringe sticking out of my arm. I grab it, pulling it from my arm, throwing it against the cave wall it clatters to the floor. I can feel the venom work its way through my body and everything blurs together.

What used to be a waterfall is now a giant face: mouth gaping and coming at me to swallow me whole, its tongue sneaks out to lap at my face. A scream erupts from me, spilling thousands of cockroaches from my mouth and all over my body. I beat uselessly at my body, trying to get them off but it's no use. A tidal wave of roaches comes towards my face and engulfs me. I drop to the floor, fingers scratching at my face and then I'm gone- blackness engulfs me and I float off, drifting lazily in a black river. The trees on the bank call to me and laugh at me but I ignore them as I float downstream staring up at the stars. The stars are beautiful and I can see the galaxy. The stars dance with each other, making me laugh merrily in delight. Hearing my laughter, the stars grow mad. They fidget angrily and shoot towards me in an ear-shattering roar. I sink under the water in surprise and fear, but I suddenly I can't tell up from down and I'm struggling to find my way up to the surface.

I surface momentarily and I see him- Death is standing at my feet, looking down at me. We are in a cave with brown goo oozing down the slimy walls. I groan; my hallucination converges in on itself and I feel sick. I roll my head to the side and vomit up tiny worms. I scream and scramble away from them. I run into something hard. I turn and I see feet by my face and I look up. President Snow looks down at me, his face looks like its melting like a candle. Rivers of wax stream down his face, racing and taunting one another as they approach his jaw. Snow reaches over and shakes hands with Death.

"Congratulations," he murmurs to Death and the rest of his sentence is lost in my screaming.

The stench of faux roses fills my nose and I'm gagging again, vomiting up rose pedals. I can't stop. I start to scream as I vomit, the pile of roses getting higher and higher. There is a sting in my arm and everything goes black. One single thought floats in my head.

 _I won. For you, Prim, I won._


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: Warning! This chapter gets very physical and abusive. Some parts may contain triggers.**

* * *

Chapter Eight—The Living Nightmare

A soothing and constant beeping fills my ears and I sigh happily as I snuggle down into my soft sheets, hoping to go back to dreaming. I much rather be in district 12 hunting with Gale, laughing with Prim, or talking with Peeta in my dreamland then face the unknown. But it's not to be.

Shaking. I am being shaken. I mumble out a protest and throw my arm out, hoping to blindly hit whoever is trying to wake me. I feel a sting as someone pinches my arm. My eyes fly open I shoot up into a sitting position, coming face-to-face friendly looking nurse who smiles at me gently. Her nametag declares that her name is "Dennia". She is old, wrinkles carving out a pattern in her face and I can tell by her winkles that she the kind of person that loves to smile.

"It's about time you woke up my dear. You've been sleeping for far too long."

I glance around. I'm in a hospital, hooked up to an EKG, which explains the constant soothing beeps. What the hell happened to me? How long have I been out for? Where's Gale?

A pain shoots through my heart and I gasp, remembering the death of Gale. My mind shifts to my reaction to his death. Blood drains quickly from my face, leaving me feeling light headed and woozy. I killed that boy. No, I murdered that boy. I obliterated him. His poor parents—having to watch a grief stricken, savage attack your son without a second thought about it! A sob escapes my throat as I try to wrestle with the guilt I feel for murdering him along with the pride I feel for avenging Gale.

"How long have I been out for?" I croak pathetically at Dennia. My throat is dry; it feels like there is sand in there.

The nurse hands me a glass of water and I drink greedily, some of it overflows from my mouth and dribbles down my cheek.

"About four days," she says calmly.

I take this in, processing it.

"When can I go home?"

The nurse's eyes fall and she studies the floor. My gut clenches. This can't be good.

"I'm not sure," she murmurs.

"Well, just ask the doctor and let me know," I push her.

"Sweetie, you won't be going home I don't think."

"You don't understand," I explain calmly- she must not know who I am. "I'm the victor of the hunger games. I get to go back to my district before the victory tour."

The nurse simply shakes her head in denial. I roll my eyes towards the ceiling, breathing deeply, trying to keep my patience. What is _wrong_ with this woman? How does she not know who I am?

"Okay, let me talk to Haymitch."

The nurse looks up at me, wide eyed. Her face is saying " _who the hell are you talking about?_ "

Okay, so Haymitch hasn't shown up yet. He's probably been too drunk from celebrating to bother coming to visit me at the hospital—jerk.

"No problem, just send Effie in then." she _wouldn't_ have abandoned me unlike that no good Haymitch.

"I'm sorry, dear, I just don't know who you are talking about," her voice twinkles with the capitol's accent and I grind my teeth together in frustration.

"Well, can you find me someone who _does_ know something, please?"

"Of course I can, dear." The nurse smiles, pats my leg, nods, and leaves the room and I close my eyes, my head pounding. Talk about ditzy! I'm surprised she doesn't have blonde hair.

I feel the presence of the doctor by my bed and without opening my eyes I speak to him.

"Can you _please_ tell me what is going on? That nurse tells me that I can't go home." I pinch the bridge of my nose and close my eyes tighter, trying to fight off my head ache.

There is a brush of skin against my cheek and I frown slightly when words come.

"Well, _Girl on Fire_ , let me explain."

My heart drops, a hiss erupts from my throat and I jerk away from his touch. My eyes shoot open and I take the sight of him in. Cato. I am shocked—his face is perfectly clear—no bruises or cuts or anything.

" _He must be a ghost; that is really the only logical explanation,"_ I think drolly to myself. But even that thought can't stop what is rising in my throat.

I lean over my bed and vomit. This is dream. He is dead. I heard the cannon. Am I dead? Am I in hell? My head spins and I look up at him. He smiles at me and my heart grows cold. He really shouldn't look as good as he does—it's not fair.

"Oh, how I've waited to see this look on your face. Yes, my plan is complete now. Everyone thinks you're dead and I have you all to myself," Cato lets out a laugh, a rather evil one.

" _Okay, it's time to wake up,"_ I tell my brain but I don't and Cato is here, alive, talking to me when he should be _dead._

I can't help it. I scream. I kick the sheets off of my legs and bolt out of the bed, screaming the whole time. The bed is between Cato and me, my eyes shoot to the door and I'm off the second my eyes see it. I'm running as fast as I can to reach it but it doesn't matter—does it ever when it comes to Cato?

Cato crashes into my back and takes me down. My head knocks painfully against the floor with a loud smack and I let out a groan of pain. I can't see straight, everything is strangely light and shimmery. This cannot be happening. He is dead I repeat to myself over and over again.

He rolls me over and straddles me. I scream again and he slaps me. My face flies over and a tear traitorously sneaks out of my eye. Cato places his knees on my shoulders, his legs trapping my arms. I can't move at all except to try to buck him off which I try to do but to no use. Cato simply laughs and waits for me to give up.

I lay still underneath him. He reaches down and caresses my face. "I really need to learn to be gentler with you, fire girl. Your black eye from the arena is on its way to healing and here I am adding bruises to your a beautiful cheek." he caresses my cheek and I gag.

I shut my eyes, trying to wake myself up because this cannot be happening. It's impossible I heard the damned cannon. I open my eyes and he's still there. He gets off me and pulls me up along his body so I feel every inch of him. As he rubs myself against him, I feel the affect I have on him as he hardens. He spins me around so that my back is pressed to his chest. Bile rises in my throat and I push away from him. Twisting, I rake my nails down his face. He lets out a stream of curses and backhands me. I go flying, hitting against the door, I lose all my breath and I lie in front of the door gasping for air.

"Christ, Katniss! I have a fucking interview in a few hours. I can't go to it with scratches on my fucking face!"

Cato stomps over to me, grabs me by my hair and pulls me over to the bed. He picks me up in his arms as though I weigh nothing and throws me down on the bed. His hand comes up and I see a syringe in it. My hands shoot up, trying to hit it out of his hand but he pins my arms down and aggressively plunges it deep into my sink, depressing the lever with a satisfied smile.

"Oh, Kat, my little tribute, sleep well. I'll be seeing you soon."

With the last of my energy, I jerk my hand up bringing it across his face, effectively slapping the smile right off of it. I smile weakly at my small victory and relax against the pillows, passing out.

When I wake next, its pitch black and I am screaming, trying to get out of the bed but can't manage it. I am strapped down to the bed. Panic floods me and I struggle against the restraints to no avail. I quickly glance around the dark room- no Cato. Was it just a dream? The throbbing in my cheek tells me no but my brain is unsure. Cato is dead or he should be.

I breathe deeply in and out, trying to calm my racing heart. The dream had been so vivid. I had relived the hunger games but this time I was Prim and Gale was Peeta and in the end, Prim dies falling off that waterfall, her body smashed on the rocks below. Watching Peseta's death was hard for me also. In my dream I had run into the river, grasping his body to mine and refused to let go. Finally Death himself had to pull me away, while I screamed, bit and did everything to get back to him. Deaths arms transformed into Cato's thick, muscular arms and I was forced trapped there, not being able to move.

A light clicks on and I'm blinded. There are footsteps and I see him standing beside the bed, looking down at me. Cato. He lets out a long sigh and reaches to caress my cheek. He tucks the blanket in around me and I notice that I am only wearing my bra and underwear. A flush heats my cheeks and I turn my head to stare at the wall opposite from him.

"Oh, Katniss, there's no need to be a brat about this. You're going to be spending a lot of time with me and sooner or later you'll find yourself liking it so why fight the inevitable?"

My heart sinks and I have to voice my thoughts.

"I'm not going home, am I?"

Cato lets out a small laugh.

"No, Katniss, everyone thinks you're dead."

I close my eyes, my forehead furrowing.

"Prim..." her name escapes my lips and I wish I could take it back. I don't want _him_ knowing anything about her or how much I miss her.

"You've been calling out that name all night. Who is it? You've also been mumbling something about a Peeta."

I turn my head to stare at Cato his eyes narrow at me. I almost laugh at the sight of my scratch marks on his face. I smile at the thought of scratching my fingers down his face again.

"Do you want another pair of scratch marks marring your face, pretty boy?" I ask him, hoping to distract him from the subject of Prim.

Cato throws his head back and laughs.

"Oh Kat, I don't think I will ever get tired of you."

I grind my teeth together in frustration.

"If you would untie me, I can show you just how serious that offer was." I smile sweetly at him but he just laughs again, shaking his head at me like he can't believe how funny I am.

A tall man appears in the doorway and I open my mouth to call out for help, to plead for help but it's very apparent with the first word out of his mouth which side he is on.

"Sir, the car is here. The train is waiting for our arrival and then we can be off to your district."

A mangled cry fills the room and both of their eyes are drawn to me. Am I making that noise?! I shut my mouth and the noise stops. I thrash my head back and forth, in aggravation. Cato gets up and reaches for me and I can't stop myself.

"HELP ME! OH GOD, PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME!"

Cato's face flushes red with anger. Did he really think I would go quietly? He doesn't know me very well.

"Shut up, Katniss," he hisses.

I don't. His fists clench and I watch helplessly as one of them flies at me, connecting with my chin. My screaming stops and I work my jaw back and forth wincing in pain.

"Will you cut that shit out? No one is going to help you, Katniss, get that through your thick skull."

"I can't and I won't. Giving up is not in my nature, Cato. You are in for one hell of a ride, I can promise you that."

Cato grins down at me, his grin growing wider when he sees tears slipping silently down my cheeks.

"Well my Fire Girl, you'll soon see that I don't give up either and I can promise you that you'll break before I do. I have a thing for control and people who know me will tell you that there is only one way- my way. Now, are you going to be quiet like a good girl or am I going to have to drug you?"

"Oh, I'll behave, Cato," I say sweetly to him. He's not buying it, I can see that so I'm surprised when he unstraps me and pulls me from the bed, the blanket falling from my body to expose my half-nakedness to the world.

"I hope you don't think I'm that stupid, Katniss,"

He plunges a syringe into my arm and, once again, I'm out.

* * *

I wake to rocking. I moan and stretch, my body gliding effortlessly over the sheets. Are these silk? I look down and gasp. I am lying on silk with absolutely nothing on. I glance around the room- its empty. I shoot from the bed and dance nimbly over to the closet. It's full of clothes but none of them are for girls. No matter. I grab a button down white dress shirt and quickly fasten all that needs fastening and then I head towards the drawers that are built into the wall, searching for some shorts. I only come up with a light blue pair of boxers. Oh well, this'll do.

I step out of the closet and freeze. Cato stands in the doorway of the room, his arms crossed smugly across his chest. My eyes narrow and I prepare myself for attacking.

"Before you decide to _try_ to hurt me, let me warn you ahead of time of your punishment."

I freeze, listening

Cato smiles at my hesitation.

"Good girl, see I am already making progress on training you into the kind of girl I want you to be."

The jaunt springs me into action. Like a gazelle I am bounding across the room and am before him quicker than he thought possible. He blinks in surprise and my hands shoot out to wrap around his neck. He stumbles back and I throw myself at him, wrapping my legs around his waist. He splutters, trying to get a breath. I stare him straight in the eyes so I see it when his eyes change from shock to a twisted pleasure to deadly.

" _Oh shit,"_ I think.

His hand sneaks between my arms, gripping my chin and he turns my head sharply, causing me to cry out in pain. I can see out of the corner of my eye that he is starting to turn blue- I just have to hold on a little longer. He jerks his hand farther and it feels like my neck is about to snap. I have to decide, do I kill him and die in the process or do I let go? The excruciating pain in my neck makes the decision for me. I drop to my feet, release his neck and scurry away from him, putting the bed between us.

"Cato, you can't keep me. I don't want to be here and by the end of all of this, one or both of us is going to be dead. I can promise you that."

"Katniss, you just showed how much you _want_ to live. I can already tell that you'll adapt in order to survive for you precious _Prim_ ," he spits her name out and takes a deep breath. My fists clench and I want to attack him again but now is not the time. "You were mumbling about her in your sleep again. Pretty annoying actually, how is a guy supposed to sleep when you're kicking all over the bed and yelling?"

"Easily, either send me home or since you refuse to do that, sleep in your own damn bed and stay out of mine."

Cato just laughs.

"Well, we both know that _that_ isn't going to happen. But now, shall we talk about that punishment I mentioned earlier?"

I shake my head in denial at him.

"No? Well, you're right. Let's not talk, I'll _show_ you."

Cato punches a code on a keyboard next to the door and I hear a loud clicking, the doors are locked. He walks to the bedside table his stare never leaving mine and pulls out a syringe. There is a light pink liquid inside.

"Katniss, have you ever heard of pheromones?"

"Of course I have, pheromones help animals to attract…"

"… _mates,"_ I finish in my head. Fuck. The blood drains from my face. This is going to be bad.

"There is no way I'm letting you stick me with that, Cato. I _will_ kill you."

Cato smiles at me. "Oh, no, no, no, Katniss. I'm not trying to punish _myself_. I'm punishing you. You see, the shot doesn't affect the person who gets the shot; it affects the people around them. For example, let's say that I somehow get the shot..." Cato slightly elevates his arm and sticks the needle into his skin and depresses the plunger. "Now, if _**I**_ got the shot, then you, being the only person in the room would suddenly find yourself- attracted to me. The best part is that even though you hate me, you will still be unexplainably attracted to me. Now, this is all hypothetical, Katniss. This is _if_ I were to somehow get the shot."

An evil grin lights his face. He's screwing with me on purpose—playing with his prey before the kill. I back away from him and I smell it- it's his body odor and my God it does smell good. I never realized it before. A churning starts in my stomach, excitement turning it over and over. I feel heat spread from my stomach to between my legs.

" _No, no, no, no, no,_ " I think desperately. I've got to distract myself- I think about the arena. I image the arrow as it sliced through Glimmer's head. I hear Rue's screams echoing in my head. I picture Gale's face when he got hit in the head with the rock. I remember the blood from the boy I bludgeoned with my bow. None of it is working though. Even with these frightening images in my head, his scent is invading my nose and making me lose focus.

I let out a whimper and plug my nose. Ah, relief. It doesn't undo the damage that's been done but it prevents any more from being done.

"Oh, Katniss, none of that please. You'll defeat the purpose of all of this," he murmurs. His voice is soothing, it sounds as if he is talking to a defiant child. His voice wraps around my body. Cradling me and lulling me into calm.

" _What are you doing_ ," I think to myself and plug my nose tighter.

He lets out a sigh and shoots up and over the bed. Before I can even blink, he's in front of me, tugging my hand down. His nearness ravages my senses. I hold my breath, turning blue.

"Breath, Katniss," he whispers into my face, his voice working magic on me. I take a deep breath and swoon, taking a step towards him. Oh God he smells amazing.

" _STOP, STOP_!" My brain shouts at me and I pull away, wobbling unsteadily on my feet.

Cato smiles proudly and reaches out to caress my face. I can't take it. His fingers touch my face and I fall to the ground, crying.

"Please stop! I don't want you touching me!" I scream at him.

"Is that really the case, Katniss? It seems to me that you desperately want me to touch you."

"It's not real," I whisper weakly.

"That's the whole point of the punishment, Katniss." He kneels down next to me and pulls me into his arms. My whole body comes alive. Fire spreads from stomach to the tips of my fingers and toes. Liquid heat pools between my legs. Heat floods my face and I'm stuck between wanting to nestle against his neck and wanting to rip his throat out. I clench my teeth together, trying to keep a level head.

He stands and heads towards a door that opens to reveal a bathroom. He sets me down gently on a backless chair.

"Now, Katniss, no offense but you stink. Take a shower."

My eyes grow wide and my chin lifts in defiance.

Cato sees my defiance and steps forward to caress my face and breathe his scent into my face.

"You can either get in that shower _alone_ so that I can watch or I can take you back to the bedroom and entertain you there." His meaning isn't lost on me and neither is the bulge that is pressing against my stomach.

I step back from him, needing the space to try to undo the damage he is wreaking on my body. He steps back too and closes the bathroom door. He crosses to the shower and turns it on, spilling steam into the room. Then he leans coolly against the bathroom sink, watching me with a predatory look in his eyes.

His look goes straight to my stomach and I drop my gaze, trying to do some damage control.

"I won't ask you again, Katniss, take your clothes off."

His tone is dead serious and I raise my shaking hands to unbutton my shirt and pull my shorts off. As soon as my clothes hit the floor, I am running for the shower, taking refuge in the steam. The water hits my oversensitive skin and a whimper escapes my throat. It's too hot for my taste but the hotter the water; the more steam so I turn it up even more. I groan as the water beats relentlessly against me. I make a quick pass over my body with a bar of soap and quickly scrub and rinse shampoo into my hair. The steam in the room seems to enhance his smell and I moan. This is unbearable. There's a slam that makes me jump, I peek out of the shower to see that Cato is gone.

I make a run for the towel that is sitting where Cato had been sitting. My heart is pounding, his smell is still thick in the air and it's doing some serious damage to my poor brain. I shimmy into my discarded clothes and slink out to the bedroom, escaping the overwhelming potent smell in the bathroom.

The bedroom is empty but this scent lingers in the air. At least it's nowhere near as bad as the bathroom. I test the door with no luck- it's locked. With a groan I slide in between the silky sheets of the bed and close my eyes, praying that sleep takes me quickly.

I have no such luck, I toss and turn for hours in bed, his scent is on the sheets and it's driving me insane. After an hour, I start to cry in pure frustration. This is insufferable!

Soon though, the effects of the pheromones start to wear off. I sniff and wipe at my eyes. I don't feel anything and I close my eyes and drift off into sleep. In my dream, I am chasing Cato trying to get to him but he keeps evading me, his scent taunting me ruthlessly.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine—Snow's Secret

I sit staring out the window in my new prison cell. Cato had left me this morning with strict orders not to leave the room without him. He was downstairs somewhere right now, dealing with the reporters that showed up on his doorstep early this morning for an interview. We had gotten to his house in the victor's village late last night; he had escorted me to a room and had simply told me to go to sleep- that he had important things to attend to. I hoped that this was going to be my very own room. It was light and airy. It had light brown cream color on the walls and had a canopy bed with sheer curtains hanging from it. The sheets were heavenly and it had chair comfy chair that faced the windows, so I could spend hours simply gazing off into the woods. I had actually convinced myself that it was my own room- that he would have a room of his own as it got later, and later. So, of course I went to sleep in my usual, sports bra and shorts. Well come middle of the night, I find a heavy, hairy thigh thrown over my legs and something hard pressing into my lower back- I freaked out. When I got out of bed and demanded that he leave, he laughed and fell right back asleep. I wasn't having any of that. I grabbed the blanket right off the bed and went and slept in the bath tub. He wasn't too thrilled about it. He banged on the bathroom door for an hour straight before he gave up. I didn't come out till morning, I didn't want to risk running into him. By the time I saw him; he had already cooled down and didn't even bring it up.

The wind blows the trees around outside my window and I shudder as memories of Rue free falling through the air come flooding into my head. I get up and pace the room, agitation making me restless. I need to get out of this room. I cross to the closet. I don't have any clothes here so I riffle through Cato's drawers. As I step from the room, I'm wearing a grey t-shirt and a pair of athletic shorts.

I walk slowly down the hall, enjoying my freedom, my blood pumping quickly because I know I'm breaking the rules. I glance into doorways as I pass. One room beckons to me and when I enter, I stand, holding my breath, taking in the beauty of it all. The room is tall—as tall as two stories and the walls are lined from ceiling to floor with dark stuffed bookshelves. On the wall opposite the door, is a huge floor to ceiling window that encompasses the entire wall. It has dark green velvet curtains hanging heavily down on each side. I go to them and rub them between my fingers, savoring the feel of them. It reminds me of a dress that my mom owns. I remember playing dress up when I was Prim's age with that dress and how I was certain that when I was older, I'd have a dress just like it. I smile sadly and let the drapes fall back into place. I study the books and wonder if I may develop the love for reading books while I am here- at home, we can't afford to buy books. We can barely afford to buy food. I promise myself that I'll try the whole reading thing eventually. I turn to leave and come up short when I see a red haired girl standing in the door. She is smiling shyly at me.

My face blushes and I'm aware of how bad I must look, still bruised and scratched from the arena- for some reason the hospital didn't fix me up like they had done for Cato. Not to mention, I am in clothes that are way too big for me. I need to talk to Cato about this.

"Hi," I call hesitantly, hoping that she won't run off and tell Cato that I'm out of my room, exploring.

"Oh, hi," breathes the girl excitedly and I can already tell that she is going to be a talker. She doesn't waste a moment and immediately launches into a rant. "I was _so_ excited when Mama told me that the hunger games victor was going to be moving into this house and bringing a lady to live with him! Oh, I'm just so excited- you have no idea. You see, I've lived here since I was ten, I am fifteen now, and I help mama take care of the place but none of the victors from 2 ever wanted to live in this house. Let me tell you, it gets terrible lonely and boring caring for a house with no master..." she pauses and blushes. "I'm sorry, ma'am. Mama always tells me that I talk too much but I just can't help it! My name is Anne, by the way, and I know who you are from the TV. You're Katniss Everdeen; but don't worry, I'll call you Ms. Katniss. I'd hate to be disrespectful—Mama always says that I'm disrespectful to people. She also says that I'm not supposed to let anyone know that you're here because everyone on the TV is saying that you died. I kind of wish I didn't know because I am a _terrible_ secret keeper." The girl blushes again and I laugh at her in delight.

"Hi, Anne. It is nice to meet you. I really am glad you're here. Now I'll have someone to talk to at least."

Anne blushes and lowers her head to look at the floor.

"Yeah, just let me tell you, I was so excited when I found that Mr. Cato was coming to live here," she repeats then take a deep breath and continues on, "Don't tell anyone but I got so excited, I went through some of their family journals when we were moving his stuff in and guess what!" Anne's cheeks flush with excitement and found myself laughing again.

"You'll never believe this but apparently Cato and his family are actually _related_ to President Snow! Yeah! Can you believe that?"

My mouth pops open and I move to sit on the couch in the middle of the room. I motion for Anne to join me.

"Wow, Anne, that's fascinating," I gush, for her benefit of course—I wouldn't usually do such a girly thing as _gush_. "What else did you find out?"

Anne frowns and she looks at her hands, biting her lip in nervousness.

"I don't know how much more I should tell you. I've already told you too much," she mumbles.

"Oh, Anne, I just know that we are going to be good friends. I can understand if you don't want to say anymore. I'll respect that."

Anne looks around and smiles. "Well, as long as you don't tell anyone, I guess I can tell you. Now prepare yourself 'cause this is good! Apparently, Snow hid his family in this district right when he came to power so rebels couldn't find them and it says in the journal I was reading that Snow promised Mr. Cato's mom that he would get Mr. Cato all the training he needed for the hunger games in case he ever got reaped."

I frown slightly, not believing my ears.

"But Cato volunteered."

Anne shrugs her tiny shoulder like she doesn't have time to deal with such trivial facts such as that. "I bet he did it because he ended being so good at killing. Trust me, I've seen it. At the end of the hall is the theatre room. The TV in there is _huge_ and it's always playing recaps from the games. You should check it out sometime. Mr. Cato really is a good, fighter, ma'am."

There is a far away voice that calls Anne's name and she shoots to her feet. "Oh darn! That's Mama. She's probably wondering where I am. She always says I get easily distracted. I'm afraid she's right. It was nice to meet you Ms. Katniss. I'll see you later." And Anne disappears out the door, with a light skip in her step.

So, President Snow and Cato were related, were they? Well, that would explain that intense conversation right before the dinner the night before the games but what had they been talking about? I didn't have to leap very far to know that they had been discussing me. Corrupted Capitol politicians- nothing makes me sicker.

With one more glance around the library, I exit and make my way towards the theatre.

Palming the cool metal of the door handle, I slowly open the door and gasp- that _is_ a _huge_ screen! It takes up the entire back wall of the room. The rest of the walls have dark red wallpaper covering them and the floors are a dark wood. It looks like a cave in here. I let out a small sigh as I remember sharing the cave with Gale during the games.

There are three lines of big plush couches in the center of the room. In the back are a small refrigerator and a tiny sink. As I wander further into the room, the screen switches on and images start to fly across the screen. Hmm, it must be motion-activated.

My face flashes briefly on the screen and my stomach drops. They are running a story on me: My name flashes: _Katniss- The Girl on Fire_. The letters appear on the screen and sizzle, looking like the words are on fire. They burn up and are reduced to ash. _Katniss Everdeen- A Star Crossed Lover_ appears next, shinning brilliantly like a star. Slices appear on it and my names falls like shredded paper to rest with the ashes. Then something appears. It's small at first and grows larger. It reads _Katniss Everdeen- The Almost Tribute_. My stomach aches as I watch. "The almost tribute"? That's kind of sick and twisted.

Then the videos start to play: one of me from the reaping and one from the training. I look at my face and don't recognize what I see. I see confidence and calmness—two things that I don't feel anymore.

The video jumps forward to the beginning of the games. They show me taunting Clove and they show her freaking out. I watch in horror as they play in slow motion, Cato attacking Clove for declaring that she is going to kill me. They show Gale and me talking by the river and they show Cato, peering at us through the bushes. I feel sick to my stomach. From the very beginning he was with me.

They show the tracker jacker incident and briefly show the red headed girl from district five withering on the ground as the tracker jackers sting her. They flash forward showing Gale pulling me out of the river, I'm disgusted by how swollen I am from the stings. I watch as Gale gently hides me under the bush and sets off. A minute later, Cato appears on screen looking down at me with a sad look on his face, he bends down and plucks something from the front of my jacket before he shakes his head, spits on the ground and slinks away. They run quickly through Gale caring for me while I am passed out: changing my leaves and grinding berries up and helping me eat. Tears spring to my eyes while I watch. I can see the tenderness in his actions. He loved me so and I couldn't find it in me to love him back. I wonder if there could have been anything between us. I shake my head, no, it was never like that and I highly doubt it would have turned into anything like that.

The screen flashes and there I am, killing Glimmer- they show a sickening close up shot of my arrow burying itself into the side of her head. They briefly touch on my stay at the cave, highlighting on when the boy from district 6 attacks me by the river and Gale saving me. They also show Cato hiding, in the trees by the river, watching as I struggle with the boy. His face is hard to read but I swear that I see flashes of concern on his face. Then they flash to the last day. There I am outside the cave taking refuge in Gale's strong arms.

I hug myself, desperately trying to recreate the feeling of being in his capable arms but it doesn't work. I shake my head sadly. I still can't believe I never got to say goodbye.

They show me walking through the woods; Rue is oddly not with me in any of the shots- strange, why did they edit her out? They show Cato finding me, and the struggle we had in the tree then they show me jumping from the tree and running for the river. My heart breaks as I think of the poor little girl I had left behind to be consumed by the fire. The video jumps to Gale, he is trudging through the woods, rain pouring down on his head, with the foxes slung over his broad shoulders.

I stumble towards the screen.

"Gale," I moan as I realize that they are going to show _everything_.

I watch in horror as the video shows the action from district 8 's perspective: he winds up and launches the rock, it sails in the air, right towards it's unsuspecting target. A sob breaks from my throat. Next it shows, from the boy's perspective, me running at him screaming. It shows me beating him without mercy. I stare at my crazed face as it starts to get covered with the boy's blood. When the video shows me dropping to my knees to continue my attack on him, it's too much.

I turn from the TV and head towards the sink in the bar area at the back of the room, thinking that I'm going to be ill. I don't even stop when I see that Cato is in the doorway, watching me with an unreadable expression on his face. I yank the faucet on and splash water on my face, trying to cool off and calm my stomach.

"I thought I told you to stay in the room," comes a dark voice behind me. I roll my eyes. I don't need this right now.

I feel arms tugging at me, turning me and find myself in Cato's strong arms.

"Not now, Cato," I pull away from him with all my might and find myself up against the wall. Every inch of his body is pressed against mine.

"I saw you watching that video, Katniss. I know you long to feel safe in someone's arms again. I'm just as good at _him_. Let me comfort you, Kat."

I almost laugh as I mentally compare Cato and Gale. Cato leaves much to be desired when it comes to social skills.

"Cato, don't," I protest weakly, not wanting to upset him. He doesn't stop.

I struggle against him and he slaps me hard, my head jerking to the left. I blink away tears and try to breathe evenly. His hand finds my chin and jerks my face to look at him. I glare at him. Then he is kissing me, his scent invading my nose.

I push against his chest but he simply grinds his body closer to mine. I feel his hardness and it scares me.

"Oh, Katniss," he breathes and kisses me again, his tongue sweeping along my lower lip. I clamp my mouth down and kick at his shins. He presses his body even closer to me, pressing his erection into my pelvic bone painfully and tangling my legs in his so I can't get any force behind my kicks.

"I could see how much you liked it."

I have no idea what he is talking about- liked what?

"I saw it in your face, when you were killing that boy. You _enjoyed_ it. Don't try to deny it, Kat, I know what I saw. I see it in me too. Every time I watch a video of me killing someone, I have the same look on my face as you did when you were killing him." I feel his erection pulse and I want to throw up.

"Cato, you don't know what you're talking," I reply back coolly but inside, I'm afraid that he might be right. Did I enjoy killing the boy who took my best friend from me? I don't have time to contemplate it though because he's kissing me again and he is running his hand under my shirt and across my belly. I suck in a breath and Cato invades my mouth with his tongue.

I let out a muffled denial and he moans into my mouth. I try to grasp at his hand that is on my stomach, trying to prevent its slow, sliding decent but he evades my hands. I go limp, knowing that he's too strong to be easily overpowered by a girl like me. He doesn't stop; he keeps moving his mouth against mine until I'm not sure if I'm standing there passively being kissed or if I'm being the aggressor and am kissing him back. Confusion fills me and my brain struggles to make sense of things but I can't— his lips are my lips and I don't know what is going on. I don't want to be kissing him but I'm not sure if I want to put up a fight either.

His other hand weaves into my hair, tugging at my braid. He grips it tightly, wrapping it around his hand and yanks back hard as his other hand shoots down to where I've never been touched before. I freeze and then I'm everywhere. My arms and legs are flailing, trying to get him off of me. I find a way to place my hands against his chest and I give him a hard shove.

He stumbles back but comes back at me, danger glinting in his blue eyes, his hand raised about his head and I flinch but I don't feel the sting of the slap. Instead, he stands before me, hand raised.

"Katniss, I want you," he states and slowly lowers his hand.

"That's too bad, Cato because I _don't_ want you." I spit at him, unflinching. I meet his gaze head-on and I don't back down. I may as well be in the arena. He is my enemy and I have to outsmart him, I have to beat him.

Cato runs his hand through his hair and I can see that he hates not being in control. His eyes set in determination and I feel a sinking sensation in my stomach- dread. He takes a step towards me, slowly gaining on me and I'm trapped.

"I know about Snow." The words are out before I can even consider them. I gasp in surprise at my word vomit.

He looks at me. "How's that?"

I swallow slowly and look at the ceiling, thinking.

"I have my ways," I fidget and Cato sighs and runs his hands through his hair.

"Well I guess it _is_ fairly obvious. I mean the careers, for the most part, always win."

What is he talking about? I smooth my face into a calm mask, not giving anything away. I nod absently in agreement. He goes on, laughing a little.

"I mean, where do people think that careers get all their money for training from? Careers have to pay for their training somehow and the answer is for rich Capitol business men to send their family members to the rich districts to train. It's a business."

My stomach turns. "So you're telling me that the hunger games is the same as horse racing, only with people? Capitol business men will finance a human: pay for their food, training and board and then send them to an arena and bet on them, hoping that all their money pays off?"

Cato nods slowly, "but I thought you knew all of this already?"

"Yeah, I do- just clearing a few things up. One more thing, what about the outlying districts?"

Cato's eyes grow cold and unforgiving as he responds, "they are used as a filler, just some side entertainment. Really, we reap from the outlying districts as a joke. All the Capitol people get a good kick out of it."

I stare at him, my mouth open, tears stinging my eyes. Gale and I were reaped as a _joke_ for people who have too much money.

"Every once in a while, we have to let an outlying district win the game—we don't people getting suspicious. But other than that, it's all worked out in which order the extraneous tributes die in. Of course there is some variation to the plan when the games are going on but it's no big deal."

"Does an outlying district ever win when they aren't supposed to?"

Cato frowns. "No. Although it got close when we were in there but that is because I went off on my own and didn't follow the rules."

I move on to a different subject, all this talk to corruption was making me angry.

"So Snow paid for your training," I say, the question coming out as a statement.

Cato took a step towards me.

"My, we sure are digging for information, aren't we? Why don t you just come out with it, Katniss."

"Did you make a deal with Snow to get me?"

Cato flinches. "Yes, I did."

I roll my eyes and my temper flares. "Of course since he's your grandpa, he had to say yes."

"What did you say?"

Uh oh.

"Nothing- I-"

"Have you been snooping through my shit, Katniss?"

"No, I haven't, I swear," I say, panic making my voice waver.

"Then how did you know?"

I glance around wildly, looking for an answer. He's so mad I don't dare tell him the truth. He grips my shoulders tightly, shaking me.

"Cato..." I whimper

"Ahem."

Cato's head whips around at the noise to take in small little Anne who is lingering just inside the doorway, her big eyes glues to us.

"What do you want, girl?" Cato growls at her.

"Mr. Cato, dinner is ready," she whispers, her lips quivering at the sight of violence.

I can feel it on my face- it's written there, if he sees it, he'll just know that it was Anne who told me. I try to compose my face but he's looking.

"What the?" he wonders out loud.

He turns and narrows his eyes on Anne who is looking rather guilty.

"Were you listening to our conversation, girl?"

Anne nods miserably, her eyes on the ground.

"And is there anything you'd like to say?"

Anne nods and opens her mouth.

"Anne, don't," I warn her. She doesn't know him. He is angry and when he's angry, he talks with his fists.

My warning is all he needs. He lets out a growl and turns to Anne.

"Have _you_ been snooping through my shit?"

I open my mouth to take the blame for her but Anne is nodding her head and Cato is cursing and stomping towards her.

"Run, Anne," I yell but it's too late.

Cato winds up and lets his hand fly, slapping her hard across the face. She falls to the floor, crying, grabbing her red cheek. He grabs the front of her dress and pulls her up off the floor. He pulls his fist back and lets it fly. He punches her right in the face. I gasp and then I'm running, throwing myself over her and then I'm taking the beating. Anne sobs under me and I grit my teeth, not letting any cries escape.

"You no good house maid," Cato yells, kicking at us. I pull Anne out from under me and push her down the hall.

"Run, Anne! Hide!" and I'm turning to face Cato who is shaking with anger.

"How dare you try to step in between me and my house staff," he growls at me. He slaps me, causing me to fall to the floor, sobbing. He grabs my hair and lifts me up.

"When will you learn, Katniss? Can't you just _behave_ and do as you're told?"

"Cato," I sob pathetically as I grasp at his hand in my hair. He yanks me up and sears his lips across mine, over my face and down my neck. I cry out as he pulls at my hair. He's backing me up, kissing me against the wall again. He stops, breathing heavily into my face. I keep my eyes closed and let the tears fall.

"Katniss stay out of my way if you know what's good for you or I swear, I'll break your fucking leg."

He is gone, disappearing down the hall, chasing after Anne. I sink to the floor and cry, cradling my flaming cheek in my hand.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten—The Takedown

I look at my body in the mirror and cringe at the screams that I hear coming from down stairs. My hands clench the edge of the bathroom. It goes against _everything_ to not go to her, to help her. But I fully believed Cato's threat; he'd break my legs if I lifted a finger to try to help her out.

" _Poor Anne_ ," I think to myself, gritting my teeth as another scream finds its way upstairs. That man has no heart. If he did, it would be impossible for him to lift a hand to an innocent, defenseless girl.

Dark brown walls press down upon me and I feel claustrophobic. The tan tiles beneath my feet gleam from the fluorescent lights and numb my feet with their coldness. Everything is too clean here. The counters, floors, toilets, and showers all gleam and sparkle. It makes me feel like I don't belong here—that I never will. I long for the rustic and simple way of living that I had in district 12 with Prim and Gale.

Looking to the mirror, I shudder as I take in my naked body. I don't recognize it anymore. I am covered with bruises of all shapes and colors. I have yellow, faded ones on my ribs, back and legs that I got from the arena. I have scratches all over my arms and I few on my face but I'm not sure where I got these from. The worst is in my face. I have a black eye on one side and on the other I have a massive bruise staining my cheek an ugly mixture of blue and purple. I sigh as I gently caress it. I wonder if Prim would recognize me if she saw me.

The screaming down stairs grows louder and I feel sick staying here, doing nothing. I don't see what I _can_ do without making it worse for both of us. I go to the radio that is recessed into the wall and blindly push at the buttons, hoping that it will turn on. In district 12, only the people who live in town have radios so I've never used one before. Luckily, I do something right and music comes blasting from the speakers, making me jump in surprise. My blood beats wildly in my veins and I sigh as I slip into the bath I have drawn for myself.

I try to relax—I really do but it's impossible. Every sound I hear, I convince myself is Cato coming for me and I freeze, waiting for him to come bursting into the room. He never does and soon my water is getting cool and I still haven't washed any part of my body. Frustrated, I rush through the rest of my bath, aggressively scrubbing at my skin and hair. I try to scrub the memory of Cato and me in theatre away but I can't, it keeps replaying over and over in my head. I shiver in disgust and from the rapidly cooling water. I hear a thump and jump out of the tub, suds still all over my body. I rush to the door and grab the soft, plush robe that is hanging on the back of it. Wrapping myself in it, I step out of the bathroom leaving wet little footprints in my wake. Cato isn't here- thank goodness. I tie my rob shut and step back into the bathroom to let the water drain out of the tub while I braid my wet hair to the side. Exhaustion washes over me; I need to get some sleep but first…. I slap my hand against the radio until it finally gets the idea and shuts off.

As soon as my head hits the pillow I am out, drifting easily into a dream: I am walking with Peeta in the woods outside of district 12. We walk together through flowers, our hands brushing lightly against each other. He tells a joke and smile up at him, the sun shining into my eyes, blinding me. I stumble over something and glance back to see what and my mind is filled with horror. Gale is lying on his back, blood coming from the side of his head to soak into the dirt around his head, forming a blood halo around his dark hair. His eyes are wide open and he is staring at me in death, accusing me. I drop to his side and grab his hand. This isn't my fault, I try to tell him. I run my hand over his face trying to wipe the accusation off of his face but it stays. I look up at Peeta to see him holding a bloody rock in his hand, staring down at Gale with pride. My gaze drops to Gale's head and I see the bloody gash at his temple. Coldness flows through my body, bringing a familiar strength with it. I grab the rock from Peeta's hand and start to beat him with it, he doesn't even defend himself. He falls to the ground and whispers I love you but his proclamation doesn't stop me. I beat him to death; I beat him until his face is no longer recognizable. I stand up, gasping for air as I look down with pleasure at my kill. It starts to rain and I hold my palm out to catch the fat drops. When I look down at my hand, it holds a puddle of blood. I look up at the dark, tumbling sky: blood is falling from the sky. I glance down at Peeta one last time and realize just how much of a monster I really am.

I wake up screaming and thrashing about on the bed, my legs tangling in the sheets. Fear claws at my mind and my arms lash out and collide with something warm. I open my eyes and suck in a breath. Someone is leaning above me and I'm pinned to the bed. I scream and try to claw at the unknown person's face. Where am I? My terror is so much that I don't even remember. My nightmare sweeps everything from my mind except this single thought that is bouncing around in my head- I am a killer, a murderer, a monster.

"Katniss, knock it off," says a deep, sleep-filled, male voice. Recognition tries to fill my mind but the terror of my dream in combination with being restrained keeps it at bay. Where am I? Who is this?

I feel panic rising in my throat and it erupts from my throat in piercing scream. The shrillness of it resonates in my ears and I grow dizzy. The dark shadow above me draws closer to my face and I try to pull back but can't. Breathe tickles my face and I'm being kissed. I try to clear my head- do I want to be kissed? My lips move against the stranger's and he groans, blowing the most wonderful scent into my nose. Cato. This realization should shock me out of my haze but it doesn't. I wrap my arms around his neck, getting lost in the sensations he creates in me. His hand glides over my cheek and I jump at the pain of his caress on my bruised cheek. The pain is what finally drives reason into my mind and I flush as he pulls away from me.

" _What the hell was that_?" I angrily scream at myself.

"Who the fuck is Peeta?"

His voice cuts into the darkness and I cringe. I must have been sleep talking again. I frown, trying to think of what I should tell him. The bed shifts and Cato clicks on the side lamp. I close my eyes against the piercing light. Freezing dread runs through my veins and the dream floods back to me. I whimper, curling in on myself. I don't want to talk to him about Peeta- I don't want him knowing about anyone that I care about. They belong to me and he can't have them- not even my thoughts of them.

"I asked you a question, Katniss. I expect an answer."

I glare up at him, anger boiling my blood.

"I'm not telling you, Cato. I expect some privacy."

Cato laughs coldly and he pulls me underneath him; I think about struggling but my gut tells me to sit still- that now is not the time to get into a physical fight with him.

"Katniss, the things that come out of your mouth are so unattractive," he murmurs as his eyes roam my face.

"Cato, everything you do is unattractive so you have no room to talk, woman beater."

His eyes sharpen and his hands are on my throat, cutting my air off.

 _Fuck._

"I see that your pretty little face can't really take anymore abuse so, I'll let you know what I'm going to do- I'll slowly make my way down your body until I abuse every inch of you. Does that sound good, Katniss?"

He hisses the s in my name and as I choke, I pull at his hands my eyes growing wide. My nails dig into him but he doesn't release his grip. The feeling in my fingers start to fade and they get heavy. My feet start to kick in my desperation for oxygen.

" _Holy shit, he's going to actually kill me_ ," I think to myself as my vision starts to blur.

"Now Katniss, are you ready to talk to me about this Peeta character?"

I bob my head up and down franticly. Desperate for the air I need, I know that I'll do just about anything for it. He releases my throat and I try to sit up as I gasp for air but he pins my shoulders to the bed. I don't fight it- I'm too beat from lack of oxygen. I lay beneath him, huge gasps racking my body. Emotion rushes to me but I fight it back, afraid that if I start to cry, he'll get angry.

He waits for me to catch my breath and get myself under control then he lifts a brow to me in question.

"I'll tell you," I rasp out at him, "but I need you to tell me something too."

Cato frowns but nods his head.

"Peeta is just some guy from my district," I say vaguely to him, my voice cracking.

Cato's face hardens into a mask that makes my heart flutter. I can't believe it but some sick, twisted part of me deep down is attracted to this monster.

" _It's because he is so good looking. That's the only reason why,_ " I comfort myself.

"Well, quit dreaming about him," he demands like I am in control of who and what I dream about—idiot. "I can't stand having another guy's name on your lips."

I roll my eyes at him and his eyes tighten in irritation.

"Don't do that again," he orders and I nod frantically, my heart hammering away at my rib cage.

His eyes lock on my lips and I know he wants to kiss me again. He starts to lean down. I have to stop this. I can't let him erase my will power with his kisses.

"Anne," I mumble, desperate to keep his lips off of mine,

His face clouds and he knows that I'm trying to find a way to distract him. It works.

"She's of no concern to you, Kat."

"Please, Cato, is she oaky?" I widen my eyes, pleading for an answer.

"Yes, she's going to be fine. The doctor told me so himself."

The doctor? My stomach clenches. What exactly did he do to the poor girl that required him to get a doctor for her? This is exactly why I don't let me defenses down around him—I couldn't stand surrendering myself to this monster.

My mind races as it tries to think of something else to say but it's no use—I've got nothing. I try to put some distance between Cato but he's not having any of that. Panic fills me and I'm fighting to get out from underneath him. I bring my knee up hoping that I hit him where it hurts. It does no good, I miss and he knows what I'm trying to do. He rolls to the side of me, gripping my robe as I am rising to get out of the bed. I feel a cool breeze on my bare skin and I freeze. Before I can try to make a run for it, his hand shoots out and it's gripping my braid, yanking me back down onto the bed. He swiftly covers my body with his again. He looks down at my exposed body and sucks in a breath, growing hard against my stomach.

"Oh, God Katniss," he whispers slowly to me.

I freeze underneath him and I just know that I won't be able to escape this time but I try anyway.

"Cato, let me go get dressed please," I whisper hopefully, my voice pleading to him.

He laughs humorlessly. "You're ridiculous. Why would I let you go get dressed? I'd just have rip the clothes right back off of you."

"I don't want this, Cato," I insist

"I don't care, Katniss" is his reply.

He drops down and kisses my neck, his lips tracing the red marks that his hands had made. I can hear my heart pounding in my head. My skin crawls. I don't want this. His teeth nip at my ear and deep down in the darkest part of mind I feel excitement flare.

"Cato, wait." I call out, desperate to squash the small flash of excitement.

He sighs angrily against my sensitive skin.

"What do you want?" he growls against my neck and I try to pull away again. A calmness settles over me as once again, he denies me the privilege of going anywhere.

"Pheromones."

He sucks in a breath and he pulls back; his eyes narrow. I can see the struggle in his eyes. The thought of it appeals to him but something holds him back.

"No," he slowly says, "my first time with you isn't going to involve anything but you and me. Sorry, honey." He says the last part with sarcasm thick in his voice.

I sigh deeply, disappointed. I won't be able to get through this- I'm going to fight and he's going to kill me. He leans down but my hands shoot out, stopping him. I have an idea…

"If you promise me to not hurt Anne again, I'll do this."

His gaze narrows and he studies my face. He bites his bottom lip, holding his breath while he thinks. I gaze back up at him, holding my breath too- part of me hoping that he'll agree so I have a reason to let the inevitable happen; the other part hoping he won't so that I can try to fight this off.

"I promise," he whispers. My stomach flips in my stomach.

"Thank you," I whisper back. I close my eyes, waiting for him to take me but nothing happens.

"What are you waiting for?" I ask uncertainly.

"For you to participate. You just said that you would."

My heart drops- he wants _me_ to actually participate? I was hoping on just laying here while he did his thing.

"I've never done this though," I whisper. Anger courses through me at the thought of losing my virginity like this—with a boy I despise.

Cato's eyes light up in excitement as he hovers above me- waiting.

What happens next is worse than I could have imagined. It was rough and unforgiving. Painful and scarring. It leaves me feeling empty and bloody. Blood trickles down my legs and I cry out, convinced that he's done irreparable damage to me. I let my robe fall to the floor and am horrified by the blood I see on it. Pain shoots out in waves from between my legs. I'm convinced that I need a doctor but first I need to be clean.

I turn the shower on and step inside, not bothering to wait for it to warm up. I wash myself, scrubbing as hard as I can against my pummeled and abused skin. The water heats up and I turn it as far to the right as it will go. Water burning my skin, I sink to the floor. I let the water pound down on me, burning ever trace of Cato from my body. A sob works up in me and I let go, I let my walls crumble and I'm exposed- broken, bleeding. I am nothing but a shell.

" _I have to get away_ ," the thought repeats violently in my head until I'm chanting it softly to myself.

I move quickly, jumping at every noise I hear, afraid that it's Cato, coming to stop me. I dress in some of Cato's clothes and I make a makeshift bag out of a sheet that I rip from the tousled bed, shoving some extra clothes in there and then I'm, off slinking down the hall, quietly tiptoeing through the dark. I quietly walk down the stairs, heart pounding as the floorboards creek underneath me. I search for the kitchen desperately— I have never even been downstairs before so it takes me longer than I'd like. It takes me a couple minutes but I find it and I'm shoving food in my bag. I hear a cough and freeze. I don't move for a long time but I hear nothing else. I make my way towards the front door when I hear a clinking down the hall. I look back and I catch a glimpse Cato's back in a far-off doorway, he's standing at a wet bar, pouring himself something to drink—an amber drink that Haymitch was fond of.

I run quietly down the hall and then I'm there. I'm at the front door fumbling with the handle. It swings open and I step out in to the cool night. I wish I was wearing shoes but the ones I came here in are hardly appropriate for running away so I leave them behind. I step out into the night staying in the shadows. I study the wall that surrounds the house and the closed gate that prevents me from making my escape. I stick to the shadows, slinking down the side of the house until find what I'm looking for. The tree is thick; its sturdy branches brush the top of the wall. I'm climbing the tree when I hear shouting and the sound of footsteps.

He knows I'm gone.

A crowd of people spill from the house, running in different directions. I'm shocked to see that they are wearing funny looking glasses that I recognize. They are just like the ones Gale and I had in the arena, the ones that let us see in the dark. I quickly scramble up the tree and onto the wall. I can hear the gate groaning as it is slowly swung open. I drop to the ground. I look around, desperate for some place to hide but everything is brightly lit by buzzing street lights. There is nowhere to hide.

Without another thought, I take off running, trying to put as much distance between that cursed house and me as possible. The houses I'm running past are all dark—the inhabitants are all probably happily sleeping.

" _If only they were awake to help me_ ," I think bitterly to myself. That's it. I just need someone to _see_ me, Katniss Everdeen. The girl on fire, who is _supposed_ to be dead and buried.

I let out a shriek into the silent night. The bugs fall silent and all I can hear is my pounding footsteps, the whooshing of the air going in and out of my breath, and the echoes of my scream. I suck in a breath so that I can scream again when I am tackled.

I fall to the ground, my knees scrapping against the rough cement. I cry out and twist, kicking Cato in the shoulder. He lets out a muffled grunt and I'm up again, running across someone's lawn, grass crunching under my feet. I'm at the door, pounding furiously and ringing the bell but no one comes to the door. The house is dark and no one stirs to come and save me.

"No on lives there," says a simmering voice behind me. My hair stands up on my neck and my legs start to feel weak. I slowly turn to face him just in time to see Cato's fist flying at my face. I don't even have time to blink.

* * *

Pain. My nose is the epicenter and pain is radiating in waves, across my face. I moan and blood gushes over my lips, making me stutter. The taste of it sneaks down to my stomach, making me feel sick.

"Oh fuck," I groan. My heart pounds furiously in my chest and my nose throbs. It's broken, I just know it.

I open my eyes and turn my head. Cato is sitting at my bedside.

" _How sweet of him_ ," I think sarcastically.

He doesn't speak and he doesn't move. We lock eyes and I feel afraid which is quickly followed by a feeling of despair- how can I win against him? The truth is that I can't. I know this but I will still fight because I am Katniss and I don't give up.

My hand goes to my nose and I trace it, trying to determine if there are any bones sticking out where they shouldn't be. I don't feel anything out of place but I'm still convinced that it is broken.

"You're an idiot, Katniss," Cato breaks the silence as he watches me probe my nose.

"I want to go home, Cato."

"You're not going home," he roars at me, his chest heaving. "How many fucking times do I have to tell you that? You're not going home Katniss. There is nothing there for you anymore. Your family is moving on and you should too."

Tears roll down my face. "You don't know anything about my family."

"That may be true, Katniss, but I do know that your mom didn't even cry when you died. She didn't cry, Katniss, not then or at your funeral."

"You couldn't know that," I declare, my voice sounds a lot more certain than I feel.

"Yes I could. They played it on the news—her reaction to watching you die and your pathetic excuse of a funeral. And guess what? No tears. But that little sister of yours..."

He doesn't get to finish his sentence. I fly at him. I punch him, pull his hair, scratch him, I do everything I can so I can inflict pain on him; to hurt him as much as he has hurt me. He grasps my hands and pulls them above my head. I spit at him and swing my legs wildly, trying to get to him. Sobs escape me and I can't hold myself up anymore. I crumble in his arms.

"Prim, Prim, Prim," I keen over and over.

His lays me on the bed and pulls the hair from my face. He rises briefly and comes back with a bowl of warm water and a wash cloth. I try to turn my head but he grips my chin tightly and cleans the blood from my face.

"I'm going to be leaving for a business trip tomorrow. I don't know when I'll be back."

He sits, waiting for me to say something but I don't so he gets up and leaves.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven—Not Strong Enough to Stay Away

I stare at the boxes crowding my room and laugh as Anne fakes getting lost in all of them. She hobbles around on her crutches and falls back on my bed, laughing.

"How many clothes is he going to buy for you? I swear you could change five times a day and not run out of clothes for at least a month!" she laughs again. "I asked my Mama for some new dresses the other day and she told me that I was being vain. She says that I have enough dresses, and that the three I have are in perfectly good shape and I should be grateful that I even have three…."

Anne rambles on and I tune her out, having heard it before. I've already told her to take anything she wants from my closet but she refuses—Mama wouldn't like that at all. I look at the boxes, a frown on my face. Cato has been gone for two and half weeks and it seems like every day boxes of clothes were arriving at the house. I didn't really mind the clothes even though a majority of them were too nice for my tastes, it was the jewelry that would arrive later in the day that annoyed me and I refused to even open the boxes. What I liked most about getting the clothes was that Anne was always sent to help me unpack and we had a great time doing it.

She loves to prattle on about everything. I usually end up simply listening and laughing. I've gotten Cato's entire back story. About how when he was three, Snow had sent his family to live in the district because he was convinced that Cato would amount to something. His little brother, Beaufort, was born five months later but apparently, he was a weakling who preferred to write poetry all day then work out and train.

Anne sighs again and sits up, apparently done with her rant. "I guess I should get these put away. Mama wants help cleaning the training center after this."

My ears perk up at this. A training center? I could definitely use a good work out.

"The training center?" I ask innocently.

Anne flushes. "Don't you even think about it, Katniss," I had finally broken her habit of calling me Ms. Katniss. "Mr. Cato specifically said that you are not allowed anywhere it."

Of course he did, he wouldn't want me strong enough to fight him off not like that was even possible, the guy was huge.

"Oh, I understand, Anne. I don't want to get you in trouble." Her face clouds and I know she's thinking about the last time she got in trouble, she had ended up with bruised ribs, a broken finger and an injured leg all thanks to psycho Cato.

"Well, you can go help your mom. I think I can handle this myself. It's not like I have anything better to do."

"Thanks Katniss. I wouldn't normally do this but I'm so dang slow these days because of my leg."

I help her off the bed and she hobbles out of the room, humming softly to herself. I want to follow her and find out where this training center is so that I can sneak in there and work out, to get myself in shape so I can defend myself against Cato but something in me prevents it. If Cato found out, he would assume that Anne had told me and I don't trust him to keep his promise to keep his hands off of Anne.

I flop down onto my bed, staring moodily up at the ceiling. The thing that I miss most about district 12 other than Prim is hunting. The feel of my arm stretching back a taut bow string, the rush I get before I let the arrow fly, the suspense as I wait to see if I hit my target. I've never gone this long without hunting. I used to hunt every single day—I never had the option of not hunting because of Prim. I had to provide her with food.

I get up and start to unpack boxes, coming across a bathing suit my eyes light up. If I can't go to the training center, I can at least swim laps in the pool. I quickly get dressed. It's a plain white swimsuit that shows far too much skin and accents my body in a way that I am not pleased about.

 _At least Cato isn't here,_ I think reassuringly to myself. I braid my hair as I walk out to the pool.

I slip into the pool and float on the top of the water, loving the feeling of the sun on my face. I sigh and then I'm swimming laps, pushing myself to go faster and faster. My arms are burning and I relish in the pain. Eventually I feel eyes on me and I stop swimming. Wiping my face, I look around and see him. Hiding partially behind a bush, I see a man standing, staring at me. He is wearing jeans that cling to him appealingly and a shirt that hugs his muscles. Hope bubbles up in me because he _sees_ me, Katniss Everdeen, who is supposed to be dead. I scramble out of the pool, scrapping my shins against the side as I pull myself up. Something doesn't feel right though. A warning bell goes off in my head. I look at him again now that I'm closer and I don't trust the look in his eyes—I don't know what it is. He watches me, a cool calculating look in his dark eyes. He takes a step towards me and I'm twisting around to run towards the house when I run into something hard and warm. The breath gets knocked out of me in one big whoosh.

"I see you've met your personal guard," says a silky voice from above my head.

Heat rushes to my face and my heart feels like it's about to melt. Blood roars through my veins and my stomach clenches. Arms wrap around me and I'm surrounded by his smell. Cato is home.

I stiffen, wanting to pull away but not willing to get my ass kicked because of it. Luckily he pulls back so I don't have to. He isn't wearing a shirt and I find my eyes lingering on his abs in an inappropriate way. He clears his throat and I drop my eyes to the ground.

"Wow, Katniss, you look really good," he murmurs softly.

I can feel it rising in me and I try to stomp it down but it's not in my nature. I wouldn't be me if I listened to my brain. My smart ass remark bubbles up and bursts from my mouth.

"Yeah, that'll happen when the person who beats me leaves for almost a month. My injuries actually get a chance to heal."

I wonder why he was gone for so long but I don't ask because I think that it will make him happy and that's not something I am willing to do.

Cato take a big step towards me, bringing his hand up and I flinch, expecting to get slapped. I jump when his hand brushes lightly over my cheek and down to trace my lips. My mouth opens and I suck in a shaky breath.

"I don't need a guard," I mumble against his fingers, trying to distract him.

"Not now, Katniss," he says huskily and steps even closer to me but I can't leave it alone.

"I know what he really is- a babysitter so you can keep tabs on me."

I hear him let out an aggravated sigh and then I'm in his arms, my feet swinging wildly in the air.

"Cato, no!" I shriek at him, my heart pumping in fear. My last experience with sex wasn't a good one and I don't want it repeated any time soon. He doesn't put me down. "God, _please_ , Cato don't!" I wiggle out of his arms, falling into a crouch at his feet.

"Katniss, I was-"

"I know perfectly well what you were going to do, Cato," I interrupt and run into the house to my room, slamming the door shut and locking it. I put my back against it and slide slowly down to the ground.

That was too close.

I'm gazing out the window when I hear the door unlock and my heart jumps to my throat. I whip around and Anne slowly enters.

"Anne, don't scare me like that! Hurry, shut the door and make sure you lock it," I demand, turning back to look out the window. I suck my lower lip into my mouth and gently tease it with my teeth. I need to think of a way to get Cato to keep his distance.

"Dinner is ready, Kat."

"Don't call me that," my voice is raised and harsh—it's a strict order and I immediately feel bad for talking to her like that. I turn from the window to face her and I know from her face that I hurt her.

"I'm sorry, Anne. It's just that Cato calls me that and I absolutely hate it."

Anne shrugs her tiny shoulders. Her hair is braided into pig tails and it makes me smile as fond memories of Prim flood my mind.

"Dinner is ready, Katniss, come on," Anny repeats again.

"I'm not hungry."

"Well... Just come downstairs anyway." Her gray eyes are pleading and I wonder what has gotten into her.

"Why would I do that if I'm not hungry?"

She breaks, her tiny shoulders slumping forward, her head hanging. She is the picture of pathetic in her too short work dress. It hangs just above her scrawny ankles.

"I'm afraid of him, Katniss. I don't want to have to go down and tell him that you're not coming. He told me to get you and I don't want to make him mad."

Damn it, he was playing dirty. I wouldn't do it for anyone but Anne. I huff and march to my closet, grabbing the first thing I find and pulling it over my head—it's a dainty peach colored dress. Without even a wayward glance in the mirror, I stomp out of the room and into the dining room.

The dining room sits just off from the kitchen. It has elaborate crown molding where the ivory walls meet the high ceilings. A sparkling chandelier dangles above the long mahogany dining table which is decorated with crystal glasses and expensive china. In the middle of the table sits a beautiful hand blown crystal bowl that could probably feed my family for half a year if sold. Cato is sitting at the head of the table studying me with bright eyes. I glance down at the dress, worried that something may be out of place but everything seems to be in order. I decide to take the seat that is farthest from him at the other end of the table. The hem of my skirt lightly brushes against the middle of my thighs as I move to grasp the back of the chair.

"No, Katniss. Come sit next to me." I balk at the order until he adds please to the end. I stiffly walk to sit next of him. His eyes are those of a predator- one that plays with its food before it devours it. Goose bumps pop up all over my body and I wish I had grabbed sweats instead of blindly choosing whatever my hands landed on first.

"Thank you for joining me, Katniss," he says quietly, his velvet voice a caress in my ears.

"I didn't really have a choice, did I?" My tone is droll so I smiley sweetly at him intending to soften my rudeness but it just adds to it. I clear my throat awkwardly.

"No, I suppose you didn't."

The butler comes in and fills my wine glass with dark red wine. Even though I don't like wine, I don't protest. I'm going to need alcohol to get through this night, I just know it.

"Thank you," I murmur.

The butler gives me a slight bow and backs from the room. My guard enters as he exits and I roll my eyes in annoyance.

"Now, how is that you can manage to be nice to everyone _except_ me?"

I take a sip of my wine, and stare at him. He can't really be that dumb, can he?

"Are to asking me why I'm not nice to my rapist? Well, hmmm, let me think that one over and I'll get back to you."

"You consented, Kat," he says, his voice growling at me. I roll my eyes again.

"That's bullshit, Cato, you and I both know that there was no way I was leaving that room a virgin. I'm not stupid. I made that deal to protect Anne. You're a fool if you think I did it for any other reason."

Cato's jaw clenches and his fists turn white as he grips his silverware tightly in his hands. I take another chug of wine and he slams his fists on the table. I jump, spilling wine onto my dress. I frown, I actually liked this dress—it was pretty.

"That is enough, Katniss, I will not take any more of your lip," he declares sternly.

I roll my eyes again. I honestly don't know what he expects from me. I'm not going to sit here pleasantly, smiling at him while we eat our dinner.

"Quit rolling your eyes at me, Katniss. I find it rather annoying."

The butler enters and I straighten in my seat, neither of us talking as he places plates in front of us. Cato watches me and I stare at the wall, not wanting to see him.

He starts to eat; lifting each bite slowly to his mouth, watching me- always watching me. I ignore the plate in front of me and opt for a more liquid diet. I knock back two and half glasses of wine before he finishes what is on his plate.

"You need to eat something Katniss; especially if you are drinking."

A laugh erupts from me at the thought of Cato worrying about my health.

"I think I can handle myself, Cato." My head starts to buzz as the alcohol takes effect.

"You know, I haven't forgotten the little stunt you pulled before I left."

My heart drops at the deadly calm that is in his voice and for once I am at a loss of words.

He chuckles darkly.

"Nothing to say, my sweet?" he murmurs and I feel his hand gliding up my thigh. His skin is hot and it feels like I am being burned.

I shake my head and study my plate, blood rushing to my face. I'm afraid. My emotions betray me when I reach for my glass of wine, hands shaking and red wine spills out and onto the white place mat. Cato chuckles.

"That's got to be the first," he says and I'm not sure if he means my lack of sarcastic response or me being afraid. Before I can figure it out, he is talking again. "Well, let me tell you, Kat, I have something to say." No shit, I think. His hand goes further up and he's under my skirt now, dragging it up with his hand. His hand pauses and traces light circles on my thigh.

"You still need to be punished for it, Katniss," he says softly, his hand reaching for the inside of my thighs. My fear turns into anger.

"Almost breaking my nose isn't enough? Living here with you, that's not enough either? Cato, I'm being punished just by being your presence."

I shove his hand away from me and I shoot out of my chair, knocking it to the floor with a loud clatter. I see my guard lurch forward but Cato holds a hand out to him, telling him to stay where he is.

"Katniss you will sit back down right now."

"So you can fondle me some more? I don't think so, _Cato_ ," I spit at him. He waves his hand and my guard goes to stand in the entrance of the dining room, blocking me in. My instincts kick in and my eyes sweep the room, searching for a weapon, knowing that I'll need one. They fall on the crystal bowl in the middle of the table and I envision it smashing into his head.

I drag my eyes back to Cato so he doesn't catch on to what I'm thinking. He stands up slowly and wipes his mouth with his cloth napkin. He is wearing dark pants that hang low on his hips; they are tight and are fitted perfectly to his toned body. His shirt is a casual cream colored button down. The top two buttons are opened, showing me a glimpse of his chest. His blue eyes are sparkling dangerously at me and I see them fill with lust. His gaze slowly travels up my legs. He reaches into his back pocket and slowly pulls out a syringe. The liquid inside is pink. Dread fills me and I realize that this syringe is twice as full as the one he used before.

"I think that I should warn you, Katniss, this syringe has more pheromones in it and it's doubled in concentration." His eyes dance with lust and I know that I am doomed.

He roughly plunges it into his skin, his gaze holding mine. Memories of my rape flash behind my eyes and I know that I have to get out of here before I lose myself to the pheromones. I turn but my guard is there, an unreadable look on his face. Oh holy shit this is bad.

His scent reaches my nose and I lunge for the bowl, knowing that I won't be able to resist him and the potent pheromones. It's cold in my hands and heavier than it looks. Cato laughs at me.

"Is that supposed to protect you, Katniss?"

"Stay away Cato, I mean it. Please don't do this."

He steps forward and my butt presses into the edge of the table, I am trapped. He takes another step towards me and I chuck it at his head. He dodges it just in the nick of time. There is the awful noise of glass shattering. He slowly straightens, his mouth hanging open in surprise. His eyes are flat and dead.

I. Am. Fucked.

My frustration spills over. Why does he want to cause me so much pain? What the hell is wrong with him? What made him this way?

The table digs into my behind and I place my hands behind me, leaning against the table. I scoot my hands back and they touch something cold—I know without looking that it is my untouched knife from dinner. I grab it off my place mat and place it at my neck. Cato stops walking, dread filling his face. I feel a rush of excitement, realizing that I have power over him.

"Katniss drop the knife. I'll stop."

"No, Cato, you won't. I'm not stupid. You may stop tonight but tomorrow you'll be there, torturing me. If you want to hurt me so much why don't I just do it for you? We both know I'm not getting out of this alive. You're going to end up killing me because you can't control your anger. Let me do it for you. Let me end my suffering now."

He laughs, calling my bluff.

"Katniss, you're a survivor. I know you. You desperately want to live I can see it in your eyes right now. Your eyes dance with it; you can't hide that from me."

He's right—I do want to live but what kind of life is this? He's moving towards me again. I close my eyes and drop my hand to my wrist, the cold blade of the knife resting against the thin skin of my forearm. Cato's face turns white in panic and I force the knife down slightly. A thin line of blood appears underneath it, hinting at what will come if I increase the pressure on the knife.

"KATNISS, NO!" he screams and lunges for me.

Everything slows down and moves in slow motion: My heart is pounding in my ears, blood is welling in my superficial wound, I take a breath and my arm jerks down, the knife slices my wrist open easily. Blood pours down my arm and drips angrily on the floor. Oddly I don't feel pain I stare in shock at my arm and I release the knife. It falls slowly and clatters to the floor. I drop to my knees. Everything speeds up and is back to normal.

Cato rushes me, dropping to his knees as he slides over the tiles to my side. He pulls me into his lap, cradling me.

"God, Katniss no, no, no!" he moans as blood pours out, soaking into his jeans.

I'm not here- I'm floating above the scene, watching it with an odd fascination.

Cato is grasping me to his chest, rocking me. His nose is buried in my hair and he moans miserably. He is whispering denials at me but I can't understand them.

"GO GET THE DOCTOS," he yells to my guard. He is standing there with a look of disturbed shock on his face.

"Go, dammit," Cato yells and the man nods and rushes from the room.

Anne enters the room, drawn by the screaming and as she sees my blood on the floor she lets out a squeak and hits the floor in a dead faint.

Cato roars in frustration and the butler rushes in. He takes one look at Cato, cradling my inert form in his arms and he jumps into action. He disappears into the kitchen, returning with a handful of towels. He rushes to Cato's side and is clutching the towels to my bleeding wound.

I'm dying. It's not a question, it's a fact and it resonates through my body. I wonder how much longer I have—how long does it take a person to bleed out? The pheromones are reacting to Cato's closeness and my blood is pumping faster, causing my wound to gush blood. I rub my nose slowly along Cato's chest, savoring the scent and feel of him.

"Oh God Katniss," he bleats as he strokes my hair.

He watches in horror as the blood quickly soaks the towel. The butler switches towels and I pull my gaze up to stare at Cato. His eyes meet mine and I see worry in them. Hmm, that's odd. I smile sloppily at him and his breath catches in his throat—was that a sob?

The doctor is here- how did he get here so fast? He crosses to me and sticks me with a needle and I'm gone.

A scent- that is all it takes. One little whiff and it has started; my body betraying me. I can't escape it. His scent is thick in the air and my head is foggy from the morphling. It doesn't matter though. Even without the meds, I'd be a goner because of the pheromones. My breathing picks up and I squirm uncomfortably on the bed. My skin is burning up—I am burning with my need for him.

My eyes flicker open and I'm up searching through the dark for him. I frown for a second at the bandage that is secured around my arm. Blood has already started to stain it. But that doesn't matter right now. I breathe deeply and my body comes alive. My blood pumps and I feel my body's response between my legs. Oh lord. I see him, standing in the darkest corner of my room. Electricity flows through my veins as we lock eyes and he knows. His frown turns to satisfaction as he takes in my heavy breathing, my parted lips, and the longing in my eyes. He knows I want him but he doesn't move.

I drunkly stumble towards him and stop, looking at his face; he uncrosses his arms and drags his fingers through his hair. My hand twitches in response—I want to do that.

I breathe deeply one more time. Fuck it, I think and I throw myself at him.

My mouth is glued to his, not letting him even get a breath. My hands are ripping at his shirt, the buttons popping off, and clinking on the wood floors. My hands greedily skim over his chest. Oh god he smells good. I moan loudly and he yanks me off the floor, my legs wrapping around his waist. I feel the bulge pressed against my core and it excites me. I grind myself against it and he hisses against my mouth, pulling away.

"Oh God Katniss," he says breathlessly.

My hand brushes over his heart and I can feel its furious pumping. So he does have a heart. Who would have thought?

I pull his mouth back on mine and I wiggle my hips again. He moans and takes long strides across the room to the bed. He drops me on it bed and I'm up, jerking at the button on his pants. They open and I shove them down. He steps out of them and then he's above me and I'm jerking my hips up to meet his.

His scent invades my nose and I moan. It's almost too much for me to take. My body responds: heart pounding, blood rushing, fingers reaching, stomach flipping, mouth moaning. I surrender myself to him.

"Katniss say it," he urges.

I know what he wants but I don't want to give it to him. It's already bad enough.

"Say it," he grunts, "or I'll stop and leave you like this."

"Cato," I breathe, "please."

I'm begging but I don't even care. I just want this all to end, I am desperate for him and if I don't get what I need, I'm going to explode.

He starts to pull and I wrap my arms around his shoulders, pulling him down.

"I want you," I scream at him, a tear escaping my eye.

That is all he needs. He jerks my underwear down and his hands go to the bodice of my dress, ripping it from my body. I feel him down there and I stiffen, expecting pain. He easily slides in and it's heaven. We are moving together in unison. My thrusts meeting his and it pushes me towards something I've never experienced.

"Cato," I moan loudly. "Oh fuck Cato."

"That's right," he growls into my ear. His words, his voice, his everything excites me, pushing me forward towards my unknown goal.

I'm panting but I don't care. His scent is filling my nose and it is absolute heaven.

"Cato," I say again.

He groans loudly and something within me is tightening, it keeps getting tighter and tighter until I think I'm going to rip my hair out. Will it never end?

"Katniss, go," he yells above me but I don't know what he means. Go where?

His hand reaches between my legs rubbing my sensitive skin and I snap, getting pushed over board. Everything is clenching and unclenching. Weakness rushes through me and I yell out. Cato lets out a hiss above me.

"Oh shit," he moans as he thrusts over and over. He grips my shoulders as I come down from my high, breathless. He slams into me aggressively and I cry out and then he moans. I feel wetness and he collapses on me. I close my eyes, waiting for regret to fill me but it doesn't, in fact I don't feel anything in the aftermath.

Cato rolls over and promptly falls asleep. I follow his lead for once and do the same.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve—The Fight

Regret—it hits me in my sleep and it's so strong that it wakes me. I can't take the severity of it so I seek refuge in the theatre, hoping to distract myself into forgetting the colossal mistake I had made. The light from the screen flickers violently, making shadows dance around the room in the early morning hours. I snuggle down into the couch, wanting to disappear between the cushions so I don't have to deal with what I have done—or what my body has been tricked into doing.

Images flicker across the screen as memories dance behind my eyes: The evil glint in his eyes as he watched me from that dark corner, knowing that the demands of my body were overruling my common sense. I remember the smell of his body and the scent of sex floating in the air. The sounds he made, the things I felt—all of it comes rushing back to me and makes me nauseous.

I groan in misery and rub my face in annoyance. How was I supposed to resist him when he tricked my body into thinking I wanted him? I couldn't- pheromones changed everything. They robbed me of my strength and they gave me no hope.

The house is deathly quiet. Everyone is still sleeping except for me and my new shadow. My guard had caught me sneaking out of the bedroom and followed me here. He's lingering in the back of the room in the shadows right now.

The screen flashes and draws my attention: A montage of images of Cato flicker on the screen and I can't help but watch as clips of video from the arena start to play. This story isn't one of the better ones—the good ones play during the day when people are actually awake. No this one, is a flop. It shows him doing various physical activities—showing off his power and strength. It doesn't really have a point to it and that is why it's playing during the middle of the night.

The first shot is one that shows his muscles gleaming with sweat as he kills a group of tributes at the cornucopia; it shows how effortlessly his sword slices through the air and through the throats, stomachs, and heads of the kids that he kills. He leaves a trail of death in his wake without so much as a glance back. It shows how utterly dangerous and sexy he looks as he unintentionally stares into the unseen camera as he wipes blood and sweat from his face. His gaze seems to see right through the camera and it's like he's looking right at me, I'm relieved when he looks away. It shows the graceful swing of his sword as he almost decapitates Clove and the dead look he has as she falls to the ground, a look of shock on her dead face. Images start to flash again on the screen, the video proudly displaying his next kill but I don't see it.

I know the second he enters the room because somehow I've become attuned to him. The thought of it is upsetting and my heart twinges. I don't move as he walks up behind me and places his hands on my shoulders.

"Katniss, what are you doing?" he mumbles sleepily, gently massaging my shoulders. His touch makes me uncomfortable not only because of what we did earlier but because it is so gentle and sweet—it is so not Cato.

"I couldn't sleep," I say quietly, staring unseeingly at the flickering screen.

He sits beside me on the couch and I see that he has put some clothes on he pulls me down so that my head is resting on his lap. My skin crawls and I want to get up, to pull away but I'm too exhausted to start a fight- I'm beaten and broken and he knows it.

I see his face out of the corner of my eye; he is studying himself on the screen. His eyes take it all in but his face doesn't give anything away. I can see in his eyes the reflection of the screen. I see Death doing what he does best—kill.

"The victory tour is starting on Friday," he speaks without looking down, breaking the silence between us. I'm relieved and surprised that he doesn't bring up what happened earlier. I turn my head and watch him on the screen as he kills a girl who cowers at his feet, begging for her life. He snaps her neck like it's a twig and drops her to the ground.

I feel relief—not at what I am watching but by what he has said. In just two days he'll be gone for at least a month while that is going on. There is no way he'll take me with him, I could easily run away. Or someone could see me and it would ruin everything for him. On second thought, maybe I am disappointed that he's not taking me. I frown slightly, trying to figure out how I feel about this. On one hand, I don't want to spend any more time with him than I absolutely have to. On the other hand, I could be discovered if I go with him, I could go _home._ The thing is would he give me enough freedom for me to be seen by anyone? I know the answer to that question: Hell no he wouldn't.

"I want you to come with me. And I know what you're thinking but you can forget about it. I've already given this a lot of thought. You're going to be on lock and key. If I'm not with you, Whytt will be with you," Cato motions to the back of the room towards my body guard. So that's Mr. Creepy's name.

I open my mouth, wanting to say something but nothing comes out—I'm not sure what to think about all of this. It doesn't matter though because Cato cuts off whatever I was going to say.

"Don't even start, Katniss. You're coming and that's that. You have a choice here: You can argue with me and regret it when you're crumpled on the ground at my feet in pain or you can just shut your mouth for once and accept the fact that you're no longer the independent person you used to be. You're no longer in charge."

I bite my lip, piercing the skin so that blood flows in my mouth, the pain allowing me to keep my temper down. Cato breathes a sigh of relief when he sees that I'm not going to give him any grief. He pulls me down onto his lap again and goes back to quietly watching the TV while I study his face.

I've broken down, I know it. I know that I can't keep up the fight for much longer. So for now, I'll try to play by his rules until I can find a way to get back home—a way back to my Prim. He feels my eyes on him and he looks down at me. His fingers gently trace random patterns across my face and I am lulled asleep.

"Psstt... Katniss," I hear the whisper and I open my eyes. I see Anne's face right next to mine. I'm still lying on Cato's lap, curled into a ball on the couch. His hand rests on my side, right below my breast and from the sound of his soft snoring, he is asleep.

I gingerly move his hand from my body, placing it on the couch and slowly sit up, not wanting to wake him. I get off the couch and grab Anne's hand, pulling her to the back couch. I see that Whytt is still here, leaning up against the counter in the back of the room. Geesh, does that guy ever sleep?

"Anne? What do you want?" I whisper.

"Someone is here... Well, actually two people," she says and she bites at her lip. She is nervous.

"What time is it?" I ask, confused as to why this is a big deal.

"Noonish," she replies.

"Well, okay. So, why do you feel the need to tell me that someone is here?"

"I told them that you two were resting and that Mr. Cato wouldn't want to be disturbed but the woman, she won't listen. She just stood there in the entryway, her chin held high demanding to see Mr. Cato. The worst part is that she brought some lanky fellow with her and he keeps poking his nose where it doesn't belong. He already knocked over an antique plate—shattered it right on the floor," Anne takes a deep breath and plunges on with her rant. "I told Mama about it and she told me to wake Mr. Cato up and let him know. I wanted to go to the butler but he's still sleeping from what happened last night. By the way, how is your arm? You gave me quite a scare, Katniss. I couldn't believe you would do something like that to yourself always thought you were so strong. I was so worried about you that I fainted. Can you believe that?! Isn't it terribly romantic?"

I shake my head at her. It is _way_ too early in the morning for this—well, technically it's not but it is way too soon after waking up for this. I study the bandage on my arm. I can't believe that I did it either. I'm not the kind of person to give up without a fight but with Cato I can't fight him because he's too strong and he overpowers me with his brute strength.

"Anne, why exactly did you wake me up?"

"Wake him for me, Katniss, I'm too scared of him," she pleads. I sigh heavily but it's too late for little Anne. She jumps as a deep voice fills the room.

"I'm already awake, Anne, I was up the moment you stepped into the room."

He stretches and Anne flinches beside me on the couch.

"Mr. Cato, sir, I'm sorry for waking you. It's just that someone is downstairs and they won't leave."

Cato lets out a frustrated breath that has Anne turning white in fear. He gets up and stomps off down the hall muttering under his breath. I frown.

"Who's here, Anne?"

"I'm not sure exactly—she wouldn't give me her name. I think it might be his mom. They have the same hair color and eyes."

His mom? That means that she must be with Cato's brother, Beaufort. Hope rises in me swiftly. Maybe she will help me. She's a mom; she'll have to sympathize with me. I'm up, leaving Anne on the couch and I run down the hall, my heart leaping at the possibilities. I quickly descend the stairs and I hear talking. I slow down to listen.

"Mother, what are you doing here?" Cato asks; sleep still heavy in his voice.

"Cato, you'll never believe who I ran into the other day."

"No, mom I never will so please tell me so I can get on with my day."

"Oh, Cato you really are rude and I know that you just woke up so don't pretend like you're too busy for me. Just because you won the hunger games doesn't mean you get to be all high and mighty towards me. You better fix your attitude before your father gets here, or you'll be sorry."

Cato sighs in aggravation.

"Dad is here too? What do you guys want?" His voice sounds almost whiney.

"Cato, what did I say about your attitude?"

"Right. Sorry, mom. Now who did you run into the other day?"

"Terra Elphinstone."

"Ah, shit, I knew she wouldn't be able to keep her mouth shut."

"Cato, why is that you feel the need to buy women's clothing? From what she told me, you bought out her entire line. What is going on here?"

"Nothing mom—"

With his denial in the air, I step into the entry way. Her eyes narrow at me and I'm shocked at how young she looks with her blonde hair and flashing blue eyes. As for looks, that's all she has in common with her son. The rest of her has traces of President Snow peeking out. Her lips are swollen so that they don't look real. Her face drains of color and Cato whips around, groaning at my presence. His brother momentarily stops pacing in the entry way and stares at me. He has thick glasses, curly brown hair and is skinny as a stick—he couldn't look any more different from Cato. Silence fills the air and Cato's mom puts her hand on her chest.

"Cato, she looks like-"

"Mom, I know who she looks like," he says with a growl and glares at me. I feel a presence behind me and I know that Whytt has followed me.

Beaufort stares at me, his mouth hanging open.

"Mom, she doesn't just look like her—it is her. Cato how the heck is this possible?"

"Your grandpa has something to do with this," their mom states, not even questioning it. Cato's brother goes back to pacing the entry but this time his eyes stay on me.

The front door opens and in comes the biggest man I have ever seen; his muscles are bigger than Cato's- than even Thresh's! If I thought that Cato looked like his mother, I was wrong. I found myself staring at an older version of Cato. The man looks at me and lets out a low curse as he slams the door shut.

"Well damn, Cato, no wonder you haven't come to see us since your victory dinner."

Why aren't they asking more questions or yelling at him? I open my mouth to speak but Cato is beside me, pulling me close to his side, whispering in my ear with quiet urgency.

"If you say one fucking word, I will beat you right here in front of them. Don't think that they will help you- they are just as corrupt as my grandpa. They view people in the outlying districts as disposable. Not to mention that they are all afraid of me—they watched me kill scores of people on TV. So, no, they won't help you. Get that thought out of your head. Do you understand?"

I nod briefly and he tugs my chin up kissing me deeply, making me blush furiously. When I look at his mom, she has a look of disgust on her face. I straighten my spin and meet her eyes. I'm not disposable.

"Cato, she is from district 12. Don't you think you could have found a more- proper- girl? She may as well be a barbarian."

Heat floods my face and I gnash my teeth. I meet her gaze coolly, staring daggers at her stupid straitlaced and proper face. Cato nudges me in the shoulder and I drop my gaze to the floor, burning holes in it with my eyes.

"She's just a plaything, mom, it's no big deal. Not like I'm going to go introduce her to the elite club."

"Well I would certainly hope not, everyone thinks she is dead." She pauses and her voice grows soft. "I can just imagine what her poor mother feels, thinking her daughter is dead..." she trails off. My heart leaps into my mouth and comes crashing to my feet when Cato's dad speaks up loudly, wrapping his arm around his wife.

"Auricula, whose side are you on anyway? Our son- the hunger games victor or this wench from 12? Cato, turn her around so we can get a better look at her."

Cato looks down at me and I lift my chin up in defiance. My eyes dance wildly, daring him to even try it. They promise a fight and he knows it. There is _no_ way I am going to let them gawk at me like I'm cattle.

His dad lets out a low whistle and Cato's face hardens in anger.

"I see you haven't put her in her place yet. I can give it a go if you need the help, son. All she needs is a good beating."

"Yeah, if only that worked," Cato mumbles, still glaring at me. His head snaps up and he stiffens as his dad takes a step towards me.

"You lay a hand on her, father, and I will literally rip your throat out. Don't think I won't do it just because you're bigger than me. I've got years of training that you don't. I will kill you so quickly; you'd never see it coming."

Everyone in the room looks at him with shock and I get the idea that Cato has never stood up to his dad before. He looks down at me, his eyes demanding that I do as his father suggested earlier. When I don't, steel colors his eyes and he starts to shake slightly.

"Cato, she's trash, throw her out and I'll tell your grandpa to find a good Capitol girl for you," his dad comments.

"Struve, don't," his mom calls out. Her face is colored red with shame and she looks hurt. Poor woman, she probably had to go through the same thing as me. Cato and his dad seem like they are one in the same—no manners and if they don't get their way, they get violent.

"I am _not_ , trash," I hiss angrily at them. Cato stiffens beside me but I don't care. "I am a human being with feelings. I had a life back in district 12. I had a family who loved me and a sister that I had to provide for because my mom wasn't able to. I had friends that I'll never get to see again. I have none of this now because your _pathetic_ son decided to keep me here against my will. All I have now is fear and pain. All I have to look forward to is my next beating and my next rape."

A sob breaks through my lips and I back towards the stairs, throwing one more glance around at the crowd gathered. Struve's face is bright red, his jaw clenched in anger. Auricula's mouth is hanging open in shock and Cato's brother is grinning from ear to ear. Whytt just stands off to the side, a satisfied smirk on his face. I don't look at Cato; I already know what I'll see.

"I'm just a girl who couldn't help where she was born and couldn't stand by when her sister got reaped to get sent to her death. You people aren't any better than me. In fact, I'd go as far to say that I'm better than all of you."

I turn and run up the stairs, searching for somewhere to hide. I know I won't be able to avoid him forever but I'm not going to wait in my room like a child waiting to be spanked.

I step into a room I haven't explored yet. It's an art studio. The smell of paint is thick in the air and it reminds me of Peeta. I shut the door and run my hands over the empty canvases that are leaned up against the wall. There is a big table in the middle of the room that has splotches of paint all over it. I go to the back of the room where a sink sits with shelves of supplies hanging above it. I gently touch the brushes that have been thrown into a jar. I can hear pounding on the stairs and I know that Cato is looking for me. My hand brushes against a pair of scissor that is hanging on the wall and I grip them in my hand.

Cato's footsteps stomp past the room I'm in but I don't breathe out a sigh of relief because I know that he'll find me eventually. I drop my hand behind my back and turn to the door, waiting for him to enter.

I hear the quiet click of the door and calm surrounds me, knowing that I am not letting him touch me without a fight. He steps in and takes in my defiant eyes. I see Whytt behind him but Cato closes the door in his face. His face looks calm but I'm not fooled; I know that a monster is lurking underneath his calm façade. He paces in front of me, the table between us but I know that the table won't protect me.

"Katniss, I honestly don't know what you think sometimes."

I don't respond, holding my breath and watching for the attack that is sure to come.

He sighs and shakes his head and walks towards me, his fists clenched.

"Cato, don't even take another step towards me. You will regret it," I warn him.

"You threaten me after what you just did down there? You embarrassed me in front of my family. You made me look weak, Katniss."

"That's not a bad thing, Cato, you can't be strong all the time. Being strong doesn't mean you beat women until they act how you want them to—in fact _that_ is what makes you so weak. You didn't even need any help from me."

I know it's a mistake as soon as it leaves my lips. Cato's face fills with rage.

"You think I'm weak, Kat? Well, let me show you just how wrong you are."

I pull the scissors out from behind my back and he stops his approach. He laughs.

"Again Katniss? Well, maybe you _should_ kill yourself because I can't make any promises that you'll survive this."

He jumps at me and I'm too slow. He slaps the scissors out of my hand and they go flying. Skidding across the floor they come to rest under the table. I look up at him, my stomach clenching in fear. Oh God.

I try to side step past him but his arm shoots out, blocking my path. I try to duck underneath it and he sticks his foot out, tripping me. I fall to the floor, falling on my bent elbow. Red hot searing pain shoots through my elbow. I cry out and twist so that I'm on my back. Pushing with my feet, I scramble away from him the best I can. My elbow throbs and the pain makes my head spin.

He looks down at me with a sick smile on his face. He's hard and that makes this all so much worse—how can he like doing this to people? He grabs my ankle and pulls me towards him. I twist onto my stomach, reaching for anything to grab onto. Pain shoots through my elbow as I straighten my arm. The leg of the table is just out of my reach, the scissors just beyond the unreachable leg. I feel his nails digging into my legs and I cry out as I'm drug towards him.

He yanks me over and straddles me. He brings a fist up and then it's soaring at my face. Pain hits me and I try to block him but it's no use his fists are too fast. They come down on me in a deluge and soon I'm blacking out—going in and out of consciousness as pain takes over my mind.

I hear the thundering of footsteps out in the hall but I know that no one can save me. I'm being pounded on by Cato, every inch of my face falls victim to his fists. Suddenly someone is pulling on Cato.

"You're killing her," yells a deep voice—Whytt. I've never been so relieved to have him near.

Whytt pulls him off of me and I'm crawling under the table my elbow shooting pain up and down my arm. I'm desperate for some shelter from this monster. Cato swings around punching Whytt in the face. Whytt stumbles back with a muffled protest.

"Go, Katniss!" he yells frantically at me. I turn to crawl towards the door and I see Anne's slight frame in the doorway, tears streaming down her face as she takes in the scene. I'm almost out from under the table when I feel him grabbing my ankle again.

"You're not going anywhere, you fucking bitch."

I grasp the leg of the table and Cato yanks angrily, wrenching me from the table. My elbow feels like it's on fire and I know that it's broken. Blood pours down from my face, blinding me. My hands shoot out, looking for something to grab onto and they find the scissors lying on the floor. I twist around as he pulls me out from under the table. His fist is coming towards my face and I hear Anne's scream.

"Hurry! He's killing her!" There are feet pounding up the stairs but I know that no one can save me from this monster. My arm shoots out and the blades of the scissors sink into his shoulder. Cato freezes mid-punch and I struggle to see through my swollen eyes. He looks down at the scissors, shock crossing his beautiful face. He straightens and wraps his hands around the handles of the scissors. He pulls it out and drops it to the floor. Blood spreads from the wound and soaks his shirt. Cato looks down at me.

"You fucking cunt," he says his voice flat and deadly. He kicks me in the stomach and I cry out. Sickness rolls through me and I turn my head and vomit on the floor. I can hear him step towards me but then there is the rushing of footsteps and a thud and Cato is tackled to the floor. I feel tugging and someone is dragging me from the room. I cry out as my arm is straightened. I hear the sounds of fighting—Cato and Whytt must be duking it out now. I pass by Anne and when she sees me, she lets out a cry of horror and she is sobbing over me. I stop moving and lay on the floor right outside of the studio. I want to move farther away but my limbs aren't working right now.

"Oh God, Scrymgeour, she's going to die." I have no idea who she is talking to.

"No, she's not, the doctor is already on his way. She'll be fine, Anne." I recognize the voice—it's the butler.

"Cato, stop fucking fighting!" yells Whytt's voice. "You were about to kill her and I know you don't want that." There is a curse as the sound of flesh upon flesh fills the room. "God damn it, Cato, fucking _stop!"_

Silence falls only to be broken by my moans of pain and the heavy breathing of the two guys breathing in the other room. I hear footsteps and then:

"Let go of me, I'm not going to hurt her," silence is followed by the demand and then a resigned sigh.

Cato stomps out of the room. He looks down at me and sucks in a breath.

"Anne," he barks. "Go pack a bag for her. We leave for the victory tour tomorrow morning." Anne sobs beside me.

"Y-y-y-yesss, Mr. Cato," she sobs but doesn't leave.

"Now!" he barks and she scrambles to do his bidding.

"Scry, is the doctor on his way?" He's talking to the butler.

"Yes, sir, I called when I heard the commotion start."

"Thank you." And with that he walks away, leaving me battered and completely broken on the floor.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen—The Victory Tour

The rocking of the train car does nothing to soothe my weary body. I am uncomfortable no matter how I sit or lay. I'm convinced that the only place I'd be comfortable is in a pool and there isn't one on the train. My body screams in pain and I moan in discomfort.

My eyes are swollen shut so I can only see through little slits. The doctor had to glue shut two different gashes on my face—one above my right eyebrow and the other was on my jaw line. Miraculously, my nose isn't broken although it is extremely bruised. My lip is cut and swollen. I have two black eyes and a huge cast on my right arm that starts in the middle of my forearm and goes up almost touching the top of my shoulder—my elbow was definitely broken by my fall.

The best part of all of this mess is that Cato has stopped trying to get in my pants—apparently I am too hideous for him now. He barely touches me if he can prevent it. The worst part is that I need his help with everything. He has to help dress me, helps feed me, and has to help me bathe myself. Cato loves that I need his help; he makes me beg before he helps me do anything.

He had gotten a perverse pleasure earlier when he made me beg for help with my bath. Once he was satisfied by my pathetic pleas, he filled the bath with scolding hot water and wouldn't let me out when it burned my skin. After I got used to the temperature of the water, he roughly scrubbed my skin and scalp until I cried out and begged him to be gentler. It was sickening but I had no choice.

Not even the fact that we are rapidly approaching district 12 can make me feel better. It isn't like I'm going to be able to run away in the condition I am in. In fact, I am dreading it. To be that close to the ones that I love but not being able to see them, to comfort them, to be comforted by them—it is getting harder and harder to handle the closer we get.

Cato struts into the room and leans his broad shoulder against the door jam. He looks at me, a grin on his face.

"We'll be there within the hour."

He studies my face, waiting for me to break down. I don't disappoint. I turn my head to stare out the window. Because the window is so high on the wall and because I'm lying down all I can see is the sky and none of the landscape that is flashing by. I let tears silently fall from my eyes. I try not to screw up my face because it will hurt due to the bruising on my face. Cato comes and sits on the side of the bed, turning my face so he can watch the tears stream down my face. I don't think I will ever understand why he is the way he is. How can he get so much pleasure from other people's pain?

"You're sad." He states it like it's a concept that he'll never understand. I nod my head. He watches as two tears run together, with a slight frown on his face.

"Aren't you ever sad?" I ask him, not expecting him to answer.

"No, not since I was little. Last time I was sad was before I started training. I was probably around seven and I was upset because my dad was hitting my mom for not doing what he wanted her to do. Once I started training though I only felt angry… I was always angry," he whispers the last line. His face looks vulnerable. I'm surprised that he told me this. I don't want to know this about him. It's too personal and I don't want to imagine a little Cato, with feelings and fears.

Cato shakes his head and his face is back to normal. It is hard and defiance glitters in his eyes. They dare anyone to defy him; they promise retribution to anyone who crosses him.

"Well, I have to go get ready. I'll say hi to your family when I'm out there for you."

Pain tears at my heart and he gets what he wanted. I am crying, loud body wracking tears that hurt my face. Cato laughs at me and he leaves the room. I can hear him laughing all the way down the hall.

Whytt shuffles uncomfortably in his chair in the corner of the room. I ignore him and I mourn the loss of my home and my family. I also mourn the loss of my best friend. I realize that I haven't really had a chance to yet. I see the tops of trees flash in the window and it finally hits me that Gale isn't roaming around the woods, shooting deer and breaking the law. He isn't at home giving his mom and siblings a hard time. He's not mining. He's not alive. Grief grips me and won't let me go. It pulls me into a painful memory.

I am swimming with Gale in the lake far off in the woods. The day is warm with just a hint of coolness in the air. The birds are singing and the trees as swaying gaily in the wind. Gale and I are laughing as we splash water into each other's faces. We skip rocks on the surface of the water and for once talk about something other than the unfairness of Panem. He teases me about something that had happened at school the day before and then begs me to sing so that he can hear the mockingjays sing. He says that it is his favorite thing to hear.

Coming out of the memory, I think to myself that that was the day that he had fallen for me—after that day, he would always look at me differently. Poor Gale won't have a chance to actually be in love now.

The sound of the train changes and I know that we are slowing down. We are here. District 12 is just beyond the bend in the tracks. Soon we will be there and I will be home but not be home at the same time.

Cato appears in the doorway, a dark shadow lingering around me, pouring pain on my suffering heart.

"Are you all done crying Katniss? Well, tell me, is there anything you want me to tell your precious Prim? I can get a message to her for you."

"Screw you, Cato," I say.

He laughs again and is gone. I hear the roar of reporters as he steps off the train. Suddenly Whytt is by my side, pulling at me so that I'm sitting up.

"What are you doing? Let me go."

"Katniss, just trust me please."

He drags me to the window so that I can see out of it. Tears flood my eyes and I have to calm myself down so I can actually see through my swollen eyes. They clear and I greedily drink in the sight of my home. Everything is covered in thick coal dust and the roads are all dirt. The buildings are dilapidated and falling apart. It's not much but it is home.

Reporters are everywhere and I see Gale's family huddled together, waiting to greet the victor. Bile rises in my stomach. It's sick that victors are forced to meet with the dead tributes' families. They even have to shake hands and exchange pleasantries while reporters catch it all on cameras. I fight back tears as I take in Gale's mom. She is skinnier than she was before I had left. Her face is hard, not wanting to show emotion. Gale's siblings on the other hand are all crying and pulling at her skirts. My eyes search the crowd, trying to find my family. I spot my mom and I go weak but Whytt holds me up. Her shoulders are hunched forward and I can see tears glistening in her eyes. Her jaw is clenched and I know that she's trying to keep herself together. I search for Prim but I can't find her. She's not with Gale's family and she's not with my mom either. Where is she? My eyes sweep the crowd and come to rest on a blond head that sticks out above the rest.

My heart skips a beat. Peeta. He is glaring at the waving and smiling Cato. He clenches his fists and I watch in fascination as tears stream down his handsome face. He looks to my mom and anguish replaces the anger on his face. He shakes his head sadly and is turning to leave when his eyes flick up and pass over my window. He starts to walk away but stops, his shoulders stiffening.

"He sees me," I say, forgetting that Whytt is there. It just pops out of my mouth.

Peeta's head whips around and our eyes lock and then I'm being pulled back and shoved on the bed.

"No! Prim! I must see Prim!"

I hear my name being screamed outside the train and I know that Peeta is fighting the crowd, trying to get to me. I hear the pounding of feet too.

"Whytt what is happening? Please tell me."

He crosses to the window and looks out. He lets out a curse and turns back to me, anger dancing in his eyes.

"The peacekeepers are tackling a guy and hauling him away. Who saw you Katniss?"

"Don't worry, it wasn't Cato. Please help me back up there. I never got to see Prim. I have to see Prim. Whytt please." I beg him but it's no use.

"No, Katniss, I shouldn't have done it to begin with."

I start to cry but Whytt doesn't change his mind. I throw myself down on the bed, hurting my arm in the process. I curl into a ball at the end of the bed and cry myself to sleep.

I hear yelling and the car of the train rocks underneath me. Cato storms into the room cursing up a storm. I try to sit up and gasp in pain as I move my casted arm. Whytt stands up with a look of shame on his face. He knows that he's in deep shit.

"God damn, Katniss, how the fuck can you stand this shitty district? It's poor and the people are retarded. Did you know that none of them even applauded for me after my speech? Not one of them. They just stood there and did a three fingered gesture thing. It was so weird. I haven't even told you the weirdest part. When I got off the train, I was waving and talking to the reporters and this guy just started screaming your name and running at me for no reason. It was freaky; the peacekeepers had to haul him away until he calmed down."

Whytt and I lock eyes and he smirks slightly. I give him a tight smile and drop my eyes to the floor. Cato has no idea what happened. What a relief. There's no telling what he would do if he found out.

"But let me tell you, Katniss, you don't look anything like your mom or sister. Your dad wasn't there so I'm just going to assume you look like him."

My eyes snap up. I don't bother to tell him that my father died when I was younger because he said _her_ name. Prim—he said Prim. I get up, ignoring the pain in my arm and stumble across the room to him. I grip his shirt with my left hand. I try to pull him closer to me but he pulls back, alarm on his face.

"You saw Prim?"

I can hear the eagerness in my voice and I know I sound pathetic but I don't care. When it comes to Prim, I have no shame.

"Of course I did, I had to greet them. Let me tell you… It was kind of awkward. Your mom started to cry right in the middle of it and Prim tried to comfort her but ended up crying too."

A tear falls from my eye. Oh, poor Prim!

"How is she, Cato? Did she look like she is being fed enough? How tall is she? Did she say anything about me?"

Cato looks down at me, pleasure glinting in his eyes. He's aware of the power he has over me right now. Usually it would bother me to be so weak in front of him but I just can't help myself.

"I don't know Katniss, she was there and that's pretty much all I can tell you. I don't know what you want me to say about her, I don't know her so I don't know if she is taller. Too bad you're not better behaved because I have it in my power to bring her here."

"What? How?" My heart beats excitedly.

"You wouldn't know this because you're not a victor but victors get the option of choosing a person from each district to spend the night with when they are on the victory tour."

Nausea rises in me. This is sick but it shows the Capitol at its worst.

"So, what you are trying to say is that you get to pick a person that you can rape at each district?"

"If you want to see it that way, that's your choice. Most girls will be thrilled to get picked though so it won't be rape."

I shake my head in disgust but I get an idea.

"Cato, if I make you a promise will you do something for me?"

Cato grins down at me. He already knows what I want and what I am going to say.

"Depends on what it is—if it's good enough, then yeah."

"If I promise not to fight you the next time you want to— uh, have sex—will you bring Prim to me?" My face doesn't flush—I have no shame. I cling desperately to the hope that I may get to see Prim.

Cato shakes his head no and my heart plummets.

"That's not good enough. I _could_ do that but then I'd also sleep with her. You're offer just isn't tempting enough."

Blood drains from my face.

"Okay, okay. I can do better. I promise I won't fight you anymore on anything for as long as I'm with you. I'll keep my smartass remarks to myself and everything. Please Cato, I _have_ to see her."

"You won't fight me anymore? Not even when…" I nod my head, cutting him off.

"Yes, everything Cato."

"Fine."

"But you can't touch her Cato or I _will_ find a way to kill you."

"Katniss, I'm not a pedophile. I wasn't serious earlier at all. That's just gross."

That's when it hits me. He had tricked me. Cato sees the look on my face and he nods slowly at my thoughts.

"Yeah, I tricked you Katniss. I would have agreed with not having to fight with you next time I wanted you but I just knew that you would go higher for your precious Prim."

At the moment I don't even care that he has tricked me because I'll get to see Prim. My heart leaps in excitement. My fingers twitch, eager to be able to touch her.

"Katniss, you do realize that she won't be able to be awake, right? We'll have to give her some morphling—she won't remember a thing when she wakes up."

"That's fine. I just need her, Cato. When can I see her?"

"Let me go talk to my mentor and he'll get it arranged. She'll be here within the hour though."

Cato disappears and I clumsily pace the floor, causing Whytt to panic every time I stumble over my feet. The next time the door opens; Cato is there, holding an unconscious Prim in his arms. I stay rooted to the spot staring at her small figure and swaying braids. This couldn't possibly be happening, could it? I want to pinch myself to make sure but I can't move.

Cato places her on the bed and I rush to her. I trip over my feet and Cato catches me before I can fall on my injured arm. I thank him briefly, craning my head around his body so I can see her.

"Katniss, I'm waiting for a real thank you."

I look up at him, impatient and angry that he is wasting my time with this. I lick my lips, knowing that this is going to hurt. I push my swollen lip to his and suck in a breath at the pain it causes. I gingerly deepen the kiss but it still hurts. Finally I pull away and wiggle in his arms. He lets me go and I'm there. I'm in heaven. I try to pull her on my lap but can't with one arm. Whytt steps in and helps me so that she is cradled in my lap.

"Oh Prim, "I cry softly over and over as I rock her slender frame, stroking her soft hair.

Her eyes flutter open and I suck in a shocked breath. Her blue eyes stare up at me, hazy with the drugs they gave her.

"Katniss?" she breathes.

"Yes, Prim. It's me, Prim. I'm here. I promised you that I would try my best to get back to you. I would never break a promise to you Primrose. Never" I say and place a kiss on her forehead.

She sighs and her eyes start to shut again. I panic. I need more time with her. I need to her talk again.

"Prim, you're my everything. I love you so much." I call to her.

She smiles and replies with a sloppy. "I love you too, Katniss. I miss you so much. I wish this wasn't a dream."

Tears fall from my eyes and onto her face and she sleeps. She thinks she is dreaming and I know that that is what is best. I hold her, rocking her, singing to her, talking to her. I memorize her face, the way her hair feels, the way she smells, the way she feels in my arms. I plant kisses on her face and cry because I know she won't remember this. But I know it is better that way. Better for her to think I'm dead than to know I'm alive and won't be coming home to her.

Dawn starts to rise outside my window and I know my time with her is coming to an end. It feels too soon, like I just pulled her into my arms even though I spent the whole night cradling her.

"Prim, I love you so much. I would do anything for you, you know that right? I wish I could be with you. I wish I could watch you grow. Watch you fall in love and have kids. I know you'll do great things though, Prim. You're so sweet, gentle and caring. Please don't let this make you bitter, Prim. Be happy for me please."

Prim sighs in her sleep and snuggles closer to me. I look up at the sky and I know my time is up. I can see the sun peeking through the trees in the forest. The train has to be leaving soon. I turn my head and see that Cato is sitting on the floor, leaning up against the wall watching me. Has he been there all night?

He rises and gives me a small smile. He reaches down and moves the hair out of Prim's eyes and I stiffen, wanting to tell him to go to hell and to not touch my sister but he gave me this moment with her so I let him.

"It's time Katniss."

"I know," I whisper brokenly. He leans down and scoops her into his arms. She turns into his warmth and pain shoots through my heart. I'm about to lose my sister forever. I will never get to see her again. Before he exits the room I call out to him.

"Cato, can you make sure my mom knows that you didn't touch her?"

He knows what I mean and he nods.

"I'll get a doctor sent there so they can get her examined too. They'll want proof."

Wow, that's unexpected but I appreciate it.

"Thank you Cato."

I struggle to climb off the bed so Whytt helps me up. I cross the room and plant one more kiss on her head, deeply inhaling her scent and then Cato is gone. I drop to my knees and sob. Whytt leans down and pulls me into his arms. I cry into his chest at the injustice of it all. He picks me up and puts me into bed. Once again, I cry myself to sleep.

I dream I'm walking in a garden full of primroses. I can hear Prim's laughter and I am searching for her but every time I think that I'm just one turn away from finding her, her laughter sounds off in the distance. By the end of the dream, her laughter is just a whisper in my ears and as I sink to the ground crying, I realize all the primroses are dead and it's snowing.

When I wake, Cato is sitting beside me, his eyes glowing in the dark.

"Hey," he whispers.

"Hi," I mumble back.

"I have something for you."

He holds out his hand and I suck in a shocked breath. In his palm rests my pin—the one Peeta sent me.

"Where did you get this from, Cato?"

"I took it from you in the arena. When you were under that bush recovering from the tracker jackers, I took it from you jacket. I wanted something to remember you by in case you died."

I shake my head slowly as I reach out to take the pin from him. My thumb rubs over the pin and I smile slowly.

"Thank you, Cato."

He smiles at me and lies down, tucking me against him. It feels weird but I allow it because I promised him I wouldn't fight. It takes me a long time before I can fall back asleep but eventually I do. I drift off in the arms of my captor, in the arms of my enemy.

Time passes quickly on the tour. We spend an entire day in every district and leave the next morning. The reason we stay the night disgusts me but I don't complain about it to anyone because of my promise to Cato. Every night he brings home a girl and I can hear them having sex in the next room. Sometimes there are screams of protest and sometimes there are moans of pleasure. Either way, I cover my head with a pillow and try to shut out the noise. When they are done, Cato stumbles into our room and climbs into bed. He is always drunk so he passes out quickly. I'm just grateful that he doesn't try to touch me.

Things develop into a weird calmness between us. I don't argue, he doesn't push my buttons, and he doesn't try to make a move on me until the tour is almost over. When we visit his district at the end of the tour, he doesn't bring a girl home and instead crawls in bed with me, his hands reaching for me, his mouth moving against mine and I give myself to him without protest because he gave me Prim.

When I stumble in on him in the bathroom afterwards, I am shocked to see that he has a needle in his arm.

"What are you doing?" I ask him as red liquid shoots into his arm.

"I haven't been on my meds," he says simply.

"What are they for?"

"I don't know, Katniss," he snaps at me, surprising me because we had been so agreeable to each other. "I've been taking them ever since I was little. My grandpa sent them and my mom made sure that I took them. I had to take them when I started to train and I never asked why or what they are for."

An uneasy feeling grows in my stomach.

"Isn't that when you started to feel angry?" I ask him quietly.

"Katniss, just forget it. Damn, you can be so annoying." He shoves past me, hitting my hurt arm and I cry out but he stomps out of the room not caring. When he returns later his mood hasn't improved any so I pretend that I'm sleeping.

The next morning, we arrive at the Capitol. I am surprised when before Cato can even get out of bed; President Snow comes bounding into the room. A hiss escapes my lips and Cato scrambles to put some pants on. I hold the sheet to my chest, hiding my nakedness.

"You two get dressed. I want to talk to both of you."

Cato looks down at me questions in his eyes.

"What could he possibly want with you?"

I shrug my shoulders at him. Cato grabs my clothes and helps me into them and then Snow is back in the room, staring at me and I'm fidgeting, holding my breath so I don't smell the stenches of roses.

Cato sits next to me on the bed and puts his arm around my waist, pulling me to his side. Snow narrows his eyes at the gesture.

"Cato, have you been taking your medicine?"

Cato frowns and blushes slightly.

"I forgot for a while on the tour but I took it yesterday. I haven't gotten around to doing it today."

"Make sure you do that when I leave then."

"Yes sir."

I narrow my eyes at Snow. Why exactly does he care about Cato's medicine? What is it for?

"Okay, so I'm just going to get to the point. I hear you didn't take a girl at your district. Why is that?"

Cato blushes and I'm shocked. Snow is really asking his grandson why he didn't sleep with a girl.

"I felt bad enough that I killed Clove, I couldn't inflict anymore pain onto my district."

"Well, your _feelings_ didn't come into account when we made our deal." Snow gives me a significant look and Cato nods in understanding. What are they talking about?

"And what is this I hear about you taking a little girl in district 12? I hear that she isn't even capable of conceiving."

I flush this time but it's from anger. Cato's been sleeping with these girls to get them pregnant? It makes me sick but I keep my mouth shut because of what Cato did for me in 12. Cato glances down at me, trying to tell me something with his eyes but I don't know what.

"I did it to hurt Katniss. It was her little sister—the one she volunteered for. I slept with her so I could hurt Katniss."

Snow smiles approvingly and I hang my head to hide my face. He's lying and I don't know why but I better go along with it. I clench my fists and pull away from Cato, gasping as I hurt my arm.

"That's fine I guess. Just don't do it again. Remember the deal we made."

Cato nods.

"Now run along, Cato, your stylists need to get you ready for your interviews." Cato frowns and looks at me but gets up and leaves.

"And make sure you take your medicine, Cato. Don't let me catching you skipping doses again."

Snow looks at me and I can't stop myself.

"What is in the medicine?"

Snow smiles evilly at me.

"It's funny that you are the only person who has ever asked me that. His mother didn't when I sent it to her so many years ago and Cato never has either. I'll tell you, Katniss, but you can't tell anyone. If Cato finds out and he stops taking it, I will kill your sister."

I am shocked at how serious he is about this but I nod in agreement.

"What I have given Cato is called 'hostil-ling'. It's a medicine that promotes anger and aggression and squashes all other emotions. It also helps to improve focus and motivation. Cato is the test subject. I had it developed and when my daughter had a son, I knew I had to test it out to see if it would make the perfect tribute. So far, it has worked wonderfully. Cato is a killing machine and he shows no mercy—which is what I want the medicine to do. Cato has to keep taking it so that I can see how it affects people as they get older. Who knows when I'll need an army? I may need to recruit people of all ages."

My mouth hangs open.

"You are using your own grandson as a test subject? He's nothing but a lab rat to you."

"Oh, Katniss-dear, you sound shocked. Are you honestly surprised by this? Do you really think that I am capable of loving anyone? Oh no, no. That would leave me open to getting hurt and I can't do that."

"But I thought you sent your family to the district to protect them from rebels."

"No. Actually, one of the reasons is because I find my daughter so extremely annoying. The other is because Cato couldn't be reaped unless he lived in a district. I told Auricula that rebels were threatening them and that I had to hide them for her family's protection. She wouldn't have gone any other way."

"And what about the deal you made with Cato? What is that all about? Why does he have to sleep with random girls?"

"That, Katniss, is not my place to tell. You have to get that from Cato. From the looks of you, I can see that home life isn't too good. Maybe you should focus on making him happy and quit asking me questions, little girl."

Snow lifts his chin and leaves the room.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen—The New Deal

The sun flickers down onto the snow, making it glimmer and sparkle before my eyes. The snow crunches pleasingly under my feet and I deeply inhale the cold air, filling my lungs until it feels like they are about to burst. I exhale loudly and the air fogs up with my warm breath.

Looking around, I find a fallen tree and I gently brush the snow from the top of it and sit down. The forest is silent and peaceful except for the sound of Whytt's crunching footsteps behind me. I long for my bow and arrow and for my hunting partner. Pain slices through me at the thought of Gale. How I wish that he were here to enjoy this beautiful day with me but I know that it's impossible.

This is my first time walking in the woods since the arena and it took a lot of pleading for Whytt to agree to take me. I enjoy it here—I feel at home here, like I belong more to Mother Nature than I do to myself. Whytt doesn't say anything to me but lets me sit in peace as I enjoy my free time away from Cato. I appreciate his silence and in the quiet, I let my thoughts wander.

Cato and I arrived home from the victory tour about two months ago and things have been okay. That is if being deathly afraid of doing something wrong all the time is considered okay. When Cato is around me, I am quiet and sullen, trying desperately to cling to sanity as I do everything he asks of me. He doesn't make it easy either. He is still rude and delights in my pain. The worse is at night when he turns to me for pleasure and I have to fight bile from rising up in my throat and actively participate. If he thinks I'm not doing it right, he makes it painful and drags it out until I'm begging him to stop. And when smart ass remarks escape from my lips, he gets a belt and whips me with it. He hits me as hard as he can and doesn't stop until I am sobbing. Every time he takes a belt to me, the urge to turn and fight is so strong but I fight it down with one look at his fists because I know that there is no winning with Cato.

I stretch my arm out into the cold air in front of me and smile as I can bend my elbow without any pain. The best part is that I no longer have to deal with the annoying cast that was such a hindrance to me. The doctor came by earlier in the week and cut me out of it, saying that I had healed very nicely. The rest of my wounds have healed too and I look normal once again; although, I know it's just a matter of time until Cato snaps again.

It starts to snow lightly and I smile, remembering the first snow fall of the season: I was standing by my window, looking at the barren trees around me when I saw a tiny white glob fall to the earth. I had blinked in surprise, rubbing my eyes. I was amazed to see snow flitting down from the sky, floating gracefully to rest upon the ground. I sighed at the beauty of it all as the snow started to fall down faster. I felt Cato behind me, watching me but I couldn't tear my gaze away. It snowed in district 12 but it was never as pretty as this. Here, the snow stayed white and wasn't covered with oppressive coal dust. Cato moved behind me and pulled my hair aside—for once it wasn't in a braid—and rubbed his nose along my neck.

"Katniss…" he whispered against me. I shivered and fought the urge to pull away.

"Cato, just look outside," I said hoping to distract him from sex. I still hate when he touches me—I haven't forgotten the first time he took me or all the times he beat me.

He looked over my shoulder and I could sense the smile on his face. He was in a good mood for once.

"I guess it is rather pretty. The first snow always is—it's the shit that comes after it that is annoying. Shoveling and getting your clothes all wet when you walk though it…." He let his sentence drift off into silence.

I frowned—he was being kind of sweet. Why?

"Cato, have you taken your medicine today?" I watched his reflection in the window and when he frowned, I was afraid that he was going to get mad.

"No, I'll just double up tomorrow."

I know that's not a good idea but I can't think of a way to tell him not to without letting him know about what his medicine does exactly. It's killing me, knowing that the real Cato isn't this bad person- that his grandpa is making him this way. I still don't like Cato but it is really is unfair and I wonder if I would have liked him if I could have met him under different circumstances.

"I'm thinking of going for a walk… Do you want to join me?" I asked him quietly, looking down at the floor. I couldn't figure out if it was a good idea or not. I figured it couldn't be too bad if he's not on his medicine.

Cato frowned slightly as he looked outside. I was afraid that he would tell me that I couldn't go and that I'd have to listen but I was surprised when he nodded curtly.

The snow was falling in thick puffs to the ground and stuck to my hair and clothes. I pulled my scarf down off my mouth and laughed, my breath fogging out in front of me. Prim always thought that snow was so beautiful but I never saw the appeal in district 12. She would be amazed if she could see this beautiful and pure snow.

I stretched my arms out and whirled around in a circle, laughing. The snow fell thickly to the ground and coated the tops of the trees and plants surrounding me.

"I've never seen anything so pretty."

Cato laughed.

"It's just snow, Kat."

"I know, Cato, I just can't get over it though." I turned to look at him when THUNK! I gasped as snow splattered in my face, falling from the tree above me. Cato started to roar with laughter

"Oh, God, Kat, you should have seen your face! That was priceless."

I let out a low growl, anger getting the best of me once again, and slowly lowered myself to the ground, scooping up some snow in my hands. The snowball was pathetic. It had dirt and grass mixed in with the snow and it didn't stick together too well but that didn't matter to me. While Cato had his head tipped back, still laughing at me, I took aim and let it fly.

It splatted wetly in his face and he stopped laughing, staring at me with this odd look on his face. My stomach dropped. Uh oh.

"Oh, Katniss, you are going to regret that," his words were threatening but his voice was full of laughter. Heat rushed into my face. I didn't mean for this to happen. I don't know how to handle a teasing, and laughing Cato. I can barely handle the Cato that I've known for months.

He scooped up snow in his hand, dead grass mingling in with the snow, and he slowly shaped it into a ball. His ice blue eyes glared at me in delight. I lunged into action, running to hide behind a tree. Splat! It hit the tree just as I took refuge behind it. I stuck my head out to see that Cato was scooping more snow up. The snow wasn't too thick so he really had to work to get a decent amount in his hand. I duck behind the tree again.

"I surrender," I called out to him as the cold wind tore hair from under my hood.

I was breathing heavily and my heart was pounding in my ears so I didn't hear the crunch of the snow under his boots until it was too late. He jumped out from behind the tree and tackled me to the ground. At first, I thought he really was attacking me so I screamed and struggled to get away from him as memories of his fists pummeling my face jumped into my mind. I heard him laugh softly and I relaxed a bit. He turned me over, shoving snow down my coat and against my cold skin. Breath escaped me at the contact.

"No, Cato," I screamed, my shriek split through the cold air and echoed all around us. It was followed by my laughter as he shoved more snow, grass, and dirt down the front of my shirt.

He quickly ran out of reachable snow so he settled on top of me and laughed as I squirmed, trying to pull the snow and dirt from my shirt. He laughed again and I found myself joining in; stopping only when he gave me a look of surprise. I gasped as I realized that I was _enjoying_ myself. Insecurities rushed to me and the smile slipped quickly from my face. He leaned down and I knew that he was going to kiss me. I didn't want him to kiss me though. I didn't even know how I felt about this nice Cato—I didn't know if he was real or if he was just a front he was using to get to me.

I was saved by Anne's voice calling out into the day from the house.

"Mr. Cato, you have a phone call from the President. He says it's urgent."

Cato hovered above my lips and he groaned in frustration. He looked down at me with regret but helped me up and pulled me into the warmth of the house.

As I sit in the woods, I smile fondly at the memory but frown when I remember what happened the next day:

The next day was a district holiday so the household staff was free to attend the celebration that was being held in front of the justice building in town. Cato and I had the house to ourselves and I was on edge, knowing that he was on a double dose of his medicine.

I decided to try to stay out of his way. I settled in the living room, curled up on a rug before the fireplace reading a book. The fire's heat was so intense that eventually, I was down to just my t-shirt and short shorts, with a pile of my sweatpants, socks, and sweatshirts lying beside me. The fire crackled and popped, lulling me into a deep calm. I was so engrossed in my book that I didn't realize that Cato had joined me until he was standing above me, a glorious frown upon his face. My heart dropped.

"Hi," I whispered. He ignored my pleasantries.

"What are you doing?" he growled and I frowned—wasn't it kind of obvious?

"I'm reading…" I replied stupidly.

"Well, no shit, Katniss. I'm just wondering why you're dressed like a slut."

I glanced down at myself, in surprise. I'm only wearing the clothes that he bought for me to wear.

"Well, if you think they are too showy, perhaps you shouldn't have bought them for me," I said softly.

I heard the hiss as he inhaled sharply and then I was yanked up into his arms and we were moving. He headed towards the back door and I struggled in his arms—it was freezing outside and I wasn't dressed to be out there. He yanked the door open, the blinds on the door window swinging wildly at his aggression.

He stepped out into the cold and my skin prickled up with goose bumps as the cold air assaulted my exposed skin. Snow had been shoveled from the patio and laid in big heaps at the edges. The pool was calm and the surface of the water appeared to be glassy. The water was gently steaming because it was a little warmer than the air that was combatting to freeze it. Cato's next step told me where he was headed—the pool.

I squirmed in his arms, knowing that no good could come from this.

"Cato, don't! It'll be freezing," I yelled out to him but my pleas fell on deaf ears.

He simply grunted and stood at the edge of the pool. I tried to grip him around his neck but one glare at me and I knew that he wasn't going to let me get away. I sighed and released his neck from my grasp and then I was falling down until—

Cold. Everywhere. It took the breath out of me, stealing it from my lungs. It enveloped me until I thought I would lose my mind. I sputtered and tried to scramble out of the pool but he stopped me with his voice.

"Katniss, I did not say that you could get out of the pool."

"But it's so cold, Cato." I stuttered miserably at him.

"I find myself not caring." He crouched down and watched me, his eyes glowing in the growing dark.

I couldn't feel anything and yet at the same time, all I could feel was pain as cold spread through my muscles, causing them to cramp painfully. My teeth chattered together violently and I was shaking and still Cato stared. I couldn't take it anymore and I stumbled through the pool. I didn't care if he got mad but he didn't do anything to stop me. He simply glared at me, a look of disgust on his face.

"Katniss, you make me sick," he said but I was gone, stumbling into the house, pain shooting through me with every step. My teeth chattered loudly. I was stumbling past the entry way and I heard a gasp. Anne rushed to my side—what was she doing home from the celebration? She smelled like alcohol.

"Oh, Katniss, what are you _doing_?! Do you realize how cold it is outside? Why were you swimming? Oh come now, let me help you out of these clothes." She escorted me upstairs to help me into the shower. When I got out, I found Anne waiting with a cup of cocoa and thick flannel pajamas.

As I stepped into my clothes, I got a good look at her face and my stomach dropped at what I saw. Her face was flushed and her chin was quivering in an attempt to hold back tears. She was very drunk and very upset about something.

"What is going on Anne?" I asked her gently.

"I made a horrible mistake, Katniss." She started to shake and I wrapped my arms around her, the smell of alcohol overwhelmed me.

"What happened?"

"I can't tell you," she moaned in misery. "I'm going to be in so much trouble though. Mr. Cato is going to kill me, I just know it and the worst part about that is that Whytt will never know that I like him." She wailed and I was shocked—Anne and Whytt? Isn't he a little old for her?

"No, he won't kill you, Anne. I made him promise me a while ago that he would never hurt you again."

"Oh, Katniss, that promise won't matter when he finds out what I did."

"Well, what _did_ you do? Maybe I can figure out a way to help you." I prodded her, trying to figure out what she did that was so bad but she didn't respond. So I simply rocked her back and forth until she calmed down.

"So, you like Whytt?" I asked, not wanting to bring up whatever was upsetting her.

"Oh, Katniss, yes! How could I not? He is so handsome and he protects you from Mr. Cato. That makes me like him even more. He is so dark and mysterious and every time I'm around him I just blush like a fool and I can't find anything to say to him. It is so embarrassing. "

I laughed softly at her. Her quirky ways were so endearing.

"Aren't you a little young for him?"

Anne frowned down at her dirty hands.

"I suppose so even though I just turned sixteen… I don't suppose he'd be interested in me even if I was old enough for him."

"Sorry, Anne, but I think he's twenty four or something like that." My following laugh got caught in my throat as Cato entered the room. Anne squeaked and shot off of the bed.

"Mr. Cato, I-I-I can explain," she stuttered nervously.

"Just get out, Anne," he growled. She nodded solemnly and darted out the door.

I decided to try for a light and airy approach with him, hoping that he wouldn't try to add to the torture he inflicted on me outside.

"She thinks that you're going to kill her because apparently she did something you won't like."

He frowned briefly.

"That's ridiculous," he stated.

"Is it?" I asked him, looking eagerly into his cold, dead eyes. He didn't answer my question but changed the topic.

"So I was watching recap videos from the victory tour and something interesting caught my eye when they showed me at district 12."

I frowned slightly.

"I can only imagine. I mean you did have that guy run at you. Didn't he try to attack you?" I was playing dumb but I didn't know what Cato was trying to say just yet.

"Yeah, I thought so too until I watched the footage."

My heart dropped. There was no way he could know about Peeta seeing me.

"You see, Katniss, I have two problems here. One is that the guy's name is Peeta and I recall that you often are saying his name during the night when you sleep. So who is he?"

His eyes were dead and angry at the same time and I knew I couldn't be caught in a lie so I told him the truth.

"The baker's son."

"What else is he to you?"

"I don't know. He's nothing. I never got a chance to know him," I mumbled.

"Katniss you're lying. You want to know how I know this?" he paused, waiting for my response but I stayed silent.

"Because on the footage it shows the train behind me; and on the train is a certain window..."

My stomach dropped and he continued: "And in that window is a girl who shouldn't be there. Katniss, I saw your face when he looked at you. You lit up when your eyes met—I fucking saw it. So you better tell me what that boy means to you or you'll be sorry."

I didn't know what to say—what could I say to him? Nothing was going to be good enough and anything I said would get me punished.

"Cato, just tell me what you want me to say and I'll say it."

"I want you to fucking tell me the truth. Do you have feelings for that boy?" he yelled at me and I cringed.

I didn't respond at first because I was too busy thinking. I don't have feelings for him—do I? Is it possible that I do? No, I don't even know him.

"KATNISS!" Cato roared at me and I got up, my chin quivering because I knew that no matter what I did or said, it wasn't going to be enough for him.

"Yes, I have feelings for him, Cato! But not in the way you think. He is my _friend_. He helped me when I needed it most but that's it. We hardly ever talked before I got reaped."

"Okay, I know you're lying still but let's talk about my second problem. My second problem is that there is footage of you floating around in the fucking districts! Katniss, you are supposed to be dead. Can you imagine the uproar this is going to cause if someone else recognizes you beside that Peeta boy?"

I stared at the ground, determined to stay silent about Whytt's role in all of this. I knew that my silence was going to make Cato angry so I wasn't surprised when he approached me, his hand ready to slap me but I ducked under his arm and stomped towards the bathroom. He grabbed my arm but I jerked it from his grasp. Then I was in the bathroom, searching the cabinets. I found what I was looking for and I started yanking syringes apart and pouring the red medicine down the drain.

"Katniss, what the hell are you doing?"

"Aren't you sick of being angry all the time, Cato?" I responded, mysteriously.

"What are you talking about? Fucking stop."

But I didn't because I knew that he would thank me someday for this.

He jerked me back and I stumbled, hitting my head on the edge of the tub with an awful thunk. I tried to see where Cato was, afraid that he was going to attack me but waves of blackness were rolling through my vision. I saw Whytt come into the room and him pointing at me and yelling. Then Cato stormed out of the room and disappeared for the rest of the night. He had left the next day for a business trip.

Whytt clears his throat and I'm drawn back to the present.

"We should be getting back, Katniss, he should be getting back from his business trip soon."

I sigh and nod, dread pitting in my stomach. As I plunge my way through the snow towards the house, I take in how peaceful it looks. A ray of sunlight is peeking out through the clouds, lighting it perfectly. Birds are chirping in the trees around me and I see a mockingjay fly over my head. I smile as a storm boils in the distance because right here in this moment, everything is peaceful and perfect.

I watch as a car flies into the driveway, skidding to a stop over the icy driveway. Cato jumps out of the car and storms into the house, not seeing me.

The clouds converge above me, and the sunlight disappears as darkness surrounds me and I run the rest of my way to the house. Entering, I can hear Cato yelling at Scry, the butler.

"Someone fucking let it slip! People are talking. There are rumors that she is alive. There is a talk of a rebellion. Now find out who the fuck ratted so I can fucking kill them." A door slams and I am frozen in the entry way.

What does this mean for me? Will I be able to go home? No, Cato won't allow it—he'd kill me before he would ever let me go.

Whytt is beside me, pulling me towards the stairs and a whimper escapes my mouth.

"Don't worry, Katniss, I won't let him hurt you. I promise no matter what happens, I'll make sure you stay alive." I sigh in relief. No wonder Anne likes him so much. I freeze and gasp as realization strikes my brain.

"It was Anne," I whisper and the awful truth is staring me right in the face. I remember the day she told me that she had made a mistake that would make Cato want to kill her. She's the one who let it slip to someone that I was still alive and staying with Cato.

"Are you sure, Katniss?" Whytt asks, the blood draining from his face.

"Yes," I whisper.

He curses and we hear it, the shuffling of feet behind us. Cato.

"I should have known she'd be the one," he growls in distaste.

I turn and see the rage on his face. It clouds his face, drawing his brows angrily together. It turns his eyes a dangerous shade of gray.

"Cato, you promised me you wouldn't hurt her," I remind him with a lump in my throat.

"Yeah, because I didn't know she would be stupid enough to do this. Our promise is no longer valid, Katniss." He speaks with a deadly calm and the hair on the back of my neck stand to attention.

"You can't do that," I scream at him.

He looks at me, his rage growing. He grabs my elbow and drags me up the stairs to our room. He slams the door in Whytt's face and locks it.

"If this shit doesn't die down, I'm going to fucking lose you Katniss. Do you realize that?"

I stand in the middle of the room, not sure exactly what he wants me to say. I _want_ to go home—he's the only one that wants me to stay. His hand grips the door handle and I can see that he's going to go after Anne so I do the only thing I can do.

I go to him, pulling on him so that he turns to face me and I lie. I lie so well that I believe it myself.

"I don't want to go, Cato. I want to stay with you," I whisper as I press my lips to his. I deepen the kiss until I lose all of the thoughts in my head until it's only Cato and me and the heat that his building between us.

He yanks at my clothes and claw at his until there is a discarded pile of torn artifacts at our feet. Cato grabs my shoulders and slams me into the wall but I don't feel pain—I only feel need. I yank his head down to mine and we are kissing again as our naked flesh molds together. He pushes into me and I wrap my legs around his waist. I deceive him with my body and he believes me and I believe myself. I surrender myself completely to him and I find that I enjoy it. There is no pain, only mutual pleasure.

That night as I sleep in his arms, my dream is filled with panic. Peacekeeper's footsteps pound all around me until I am lost and I don't know which way is up and which way is down. I rush from room to room , hiding from the peacekeepers as I try to find Cato. When I do find him, we have time for one last kiss before I feel hands on me, pulling me away. I strike out at the hands, telling them to leave me alone and I cry out to Cato to help me but he's being held back. It's in that moment that I know that I need him. I need him because he is the only one who can understand me and what I've been through. He understands the monster that lives within.

Outside the wind howls and tears at the leafless branches. Snow whirls around angrily and thickly in the air, making it impossible to see. The temperature drops and everything is covered in snow and ice.

I wake in the middle of the night and my hands reach for Cato, needing his comfort and warmth in order to fall asleep again. He pulls me closer to him and in his sleep, places a kiss on my head and mumbles my name. In that moment, I find that I wouldn't mind if I stayed here with him.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen—Dance with the Devil

The next morning I wake to find Cato's side of the bed empty. I can hear him rummaging around in the bathroom and I decide to wait patiently for him to join me back in bed. I stretch slowly on the bed and gaze out the window at the winter wonderland outside- maybe I could get Cato to go on another walk with me today. I snuggle down under the covers, trying to fight the frigid air from getting to me. I close my eyes and drift off to sleep momentarily. There is a loud noise in the bathroom and I'm woken from my light sleep. I frown softly. What is he doing in there?

I get up and walk to the bathroom, my feet slapping against the cold wood floors. I shiver and rub my arms quickly up and down my arms. I quietly open the door of the bathroom and I find a much disheveled Cato. He is sweating profusely and is tearing through the bathroom cabinets, searching for something. The Cato from last night is long gone and when I realize this, my heart aches. I stare dumbfounded at the mess he has created.

The door to the medicine cabinet is hanging askew and the mirror is broken. Pill bottles are strewn all over the counter tops and on the floor. The cabinet doors are all open and towels, cleaning materials, and toiletries are spread out on the floor.

"Cato what are you doing?" I ask quietly but deep down, I already know.

"Where are they, Katniss? They were all right here when I left for my trip and now they aren't!" he looks at me, accusation a fire burning brightly in his eyes. His voice is frantic and he is fidgeting. I drop my eyes in guilt and he knows that I've gotten rid of everything. Last night, I had woken up from a bad dream where Cato had beaten me and then dumped in out in the snow to die. I had quickly and quietly gone through all the bathrooms in the house and gotten rid of all the hostil-ling I could find.

"Katniss, you idiot! I need that medicine!" he rips at his hair, his hands shaking. He rubs his face furiously and I take a step back from him—he is acting crazy.

"No you don't Cato! You don't know what it does to you."

I watch as sweat pours down his face in thick rivers. His sweat drips to the floor and I am disgusted.

"Why are you sweating, Cato?"

"Why do you think?" he roars and the truth dawns on me. He's going through withdrawal... but that doesn't make sense because he was fine when he didn't take it on the train.

His hands shake and he looks like he's going to be sick.

"You can't be going through withdrawal. When you didn't take it on the train you were just fine!" I try to dispute the facts that are right in front of my face.

Cato's face fills with rage and he clenches his hands together, fighting with his inner demons. He grits his teeth together and I can see the muscles in his neck straining, he's trying to stay calm but he's not winning this fight and I'm afraid of him.

"He changed me to a different version of the medicine Katniss. I t was supposed to even me out so I wouldn't snap so easily when I got mad," he grits out between his white teeth. Spit flies from his mouth and lands on his chin but he doesn't wipe it—he doesn't even care.

"Let me guess, he failed to mention that it was addictive?"

"No, he mentioned it but I didn't care. I figured you'd appreciate it if every time I got mad, I didn't almost kill you."

I don't say anything; I don't know what to say. My stomach churns and I find myself feeling guilty for getting rid of his medicine.

"Katniss, I _need_ that medicine NOW," he yells at me but I am helpless. The medicine is long gone.

"I didn't know, Cato. I was just trying to help you," I say quietly as I go to him but he shoves me away and I hit my hip against the counter. I gasp in pain and he yells out in frustration.

"Well just stop, Katniss, I don't need you or your help. Just stay away from me."

He slams out of the room and downstairs. I can hear him yelling at people to get President Snow on the phone. I know then and there that there was no way I could win against that medicine, not now that he's addicted to it.

* * *

I watch in silence as a bunny hops out onto the fresh new fallen snow. It stops, leaning up on its back legs and wiggles its nose in the air, tasting scents through its nostrils. I press my hand against the glass on the window and shiver at the contact. I take my hand away and stare at the foggy outline of my hand on the window. It fades quickly—just like me. I am fading away fast, there is no winning here and it's frustrating. I don't know what to do with myself anymore.

I hear him enter, the door creaking uneasily on its hinges.

"Cato, I was just trying to help you. That medicine is bad. You don't know what it does to you..."

"Do you honestly think that I don't know what it does? I know Katniss, I've known for a long time. The thing is that I _like_ feeling like that. That's normal to me and without the medicine, I feel out of control. I feel overcome with too many emotions. I need it, Katniss. Without it I am nothing."

I turn and look at him. He's freshly showered and is no longer shaking—looks like he found some medicine.

"Without it you are human, Cato. It's normal to feel like that. I don't like you when you're on it. You scare me."

He sighs. We are at a stalemate. He shakes his head at me and changes the subject.

"I need to know where Anne is."

My heart drops.

"Cato, you promised me. Please don't do this," I plead to him but it doesn't matter.

"And you promised to obey me and quit fighting so fucking tell me, Katniss," he yells. His medicine has started to work.

I sigh.

"I honestly don't know," I tell him truthfully. I haven't seen her since the day he left for his business trip.

"You're lying." His face grows red and I fight my urge to get angry.

"No, I'm not. But Anne doesn't even matter, Cato. I'll stay with you no matter," I say and I mean it. I know that there is no possible chance of me going home. It's either stay with Cato or die trying to go home. I walk up to him and place my hand on his warm chest. He shudders at the contact. "You don't need to hurt her, Cato. I'll stay," I whisper as I reach up on my toes to kiss him.

He pulls me to him and kisses me deeply; hurting me because that's what the medicine does- it makes him hurt me.

The days pass and I watch as Cato grows more stressed and angrier. It's hard to be around him because anything I do sets him off. I walk on egg shells around him, smashing every single one of them under my feet. I try to ask him what is wrong but he just looks at me darkly and disappears into his office. The Cato that shoved snow down my shirt teasingly is long gone and buried in the depths of his dark mind.

Talk of rebellion and uproar float around the house but no one ever says anything directly to me—Cato doesn't want me knowing. Anne still hasn't shown her face and I find out that she is staying with her aunt. I send Whytt to tell her that she'll be safe here and to come home.

I don't think about Prim because it hurts too much. I'm never going home so there is no point in holding onto her memory. I know that if Snow falls, that I'll be staying here or Cato will kill me. The pull of Prim is too much for me to hold onto and I bury her memory deep in my brain, trying to forget.

One day, I decide that enough is enough. Cato had exploded on the butler this morning over his coffee being too hot and I was sick of it. I am going to demand that he tell me what is eating at him. I walk to his office and lightly tap on the door, he doesn't answer but the door swings open a little so I step in. His broad back is to me and he is on the phone, having a heated conversation.

"I know we made a deal, grandpa, but I can't do it this weekend. No, I'm too stressed and I'll end up killing her."

Killing who? Anne? Me? I start to back from the room but then he mentions me and I stop in my tracks, listening.

"No, I don't want Katniss to be taken away. I remember the deal we made."

He pauses and listens as Snow talks on the other side of the phone. I hold my breath, and I can feel blood heating my face. The deal? I want to hear more about this.

"Don't you have other things to worry about? You know the rebellion is growing stronger every day. I've even heard talk that the Capitol folks are joining in. They are mad that she is still alive—that they were tricked."

They are talking about me. Apparently Anne's word vomit has reached all the wrong people. I can hear yelling over the phone and Cato pulls the phone away from his ear.

"Yes, sir. I know everything is going to be fine." Pause. "Yes, I've been taking my meds... you didn't give me a choice not to." Another pause, this time it's longer. "No, I haven't taken care of the snitch yet—she has been missing. I'm not sure what I am going to do with her. I think I'm going to wait to see what happens." A brief pause and then: "Okay. Bye." The phone clatters into its cradle and I can't figure out how to work my legs again.

Cato turns in his chair and his face is frozen in shock as he sees me there. His eyes narrow and his upper lip curls into a snarl.

"I-I-I," I stutter trying to figure out what to say. Why did I come in here? This was a very bad idea.

Cato slams his hands down on his desk and I jump, a squeak of fear escaping my mouth. My heart pounds in my chest it feels like acid is dripping into my stomach.

"Damn it, Katniss, what do you want?"

I lift my chin, some of my fire returning. I need some answers here.

"What is the deal you made with your grandpa?"

He deflates, sags into his chair and it creaks underneath him in a protest. He wracks his hands down his face, sighing in frustration. I can see how stressed he is and I almost feel bad for adding to it.

"I suppose I can't keep this from you forever. Sit down, Katniss."

"I think I'll stand," I say icily, dread bubbling in my stomach. Cato sighs and nods briefly.

"Okay, I guess I should start at the beginning. The first time I saw you, something just clicked in my head. I had to get you but you were my enemy and I knew that I could never have you. Something in me just had to be near you though—so I intimidated you. But that wasn't enough, I needed more," he whispers the last sentence.

"Why?"

"Why what?

"Why me?"

"Because you scored an eleven and after I found that out, I knew that I had to break you. I had to figure out how you got that score- it had to be a fluke."

I stare at him in horror and he meets my gaze, unflinching a proud look in his blue eyes.

"So I went to my grandpa and we struck a deal. I got to bring you home if no one killed you."

"And what do you have to do for him?"

He smiles and it twists at my gut. It's evil and uncaring. I feel sick.

"You see, it's kind of a genetics experiment in a way. My grandpa wants a super tribute, one so strong, so fast, and so vicious that no one can beat him. He came to me, asking me to sire a line of possible tributes. That was before the games and I refused him—I wasn't going to be bred like an animal. But then there was you. You have a way of making me throw my pride out the window. He had already promised my mom that I would be the victor of the games and he didn't want to help me get you. All I had to do was bring up his messed up science experiment and he agreed."

Stomach acid rises in my throat, burning its way up. This is more fucked up than I ever could have imagined.

"Your grandpa is making you sleep with random girls so he can have a future of good blood to choose from?" I ask to clarify because it seems too crazy for me.

Cato nods with an evil glint in his eyes. I start to gag but nothing comes up. All of his "business trips" were nothing but a bunch of booty calls! My mind is racing and I'm stuck in my thoughts until Cato continues.

"But I did what I set out to do. I broke you, Katniss. You know it and I know it. It makes me feel better to know that your score of an eleven was a mistake. You aren't anything special. You're nothing that I can't beat."

I can feel my breakfast churning in my stomach and I turn to run out the door. Cato leaps over his desk, his chair crashing to the ground. His hand is on my arm. He grips it tightly and I clench my hands into tight little fists. Anger spikes through me. I can't believe this was all a test to see if he could break me. The thought of it has me swinging my fist around towards his face. It connects with his chin and his head snaps towards the wall. Blood splatters on the wall and slowly travels towards the floor. He slowly turns his head to look at me, wiping the blood that is running from his nose.

"Katniss you are mine," he whispers. His voice is deadly and it does strange things to me. It hypnotizes me. I shake my head, clearing it. This is war and he is my enemy.

"I broke you, girl on fire, and now you're nothing but a pile of ash," he grins evilly and anger so hot and intense burns me as it roars through my body, waking me up.

I stand taller and lift my chin to him. With a withering glare, I spit in his face and jerk from him, stumbling out into the hall. I look up to see a very surprised Whytt. The surprise drains from his face to be replaced with tension.

"Keep him away from me, Whytt or I'll fucking kill him."

And then I'm running down the hall, leaving a yelling Cato behind.

I am crying, ashamed that I had turned my back on Prim's memory for that monster. I should have never given up- I should have kept fighting him. I hear a car outside and I go to the window, wiping the tears from my eyes.

As I'm crossing to the window, I hear a loud and agonizing yell downstairs. Cato must have snapped once again and is going off about something stupid. That medicine makes him fucking crazy. No, I'm convinced that Cato is simply crazy—meds or no meds.

I look outside to see Anne exiting a car and crossing to enter the house. Her red hair is a sharp contrast against the white snow. She glances up and catches my gaze. She smiles up at me, excitement on her face and I smile back. She is exactly who I need to cheer me up.

The wind tears through the trees, tossing them wildly and snow flurries dance across the road. Cold seeps into my soul and I know that I will never be the same Katniss as I was before. I am about to turn from the window to call Anne up to the room when I hear a soul-piercing scream. Before I can turn from the window, something catches my eye.

A huge truck roars around the corner at the end of the street and is quickly followed by a whole line of them. They are huge and look similar to a tank. They fly quickly over the pavement, leaving small snow tornados in their wake. I watch in fascination until I hear something that shatters my soul. It's nothing too major, just a simple scream. It cuts me to the core and makes me weak. I drop to my knees as it roars around me.

"Katniss!"

My name echoes in my ears and deafens me, turning me cold in places that I never even knew I had. Anne's cry drains all rational thought from me. I'm up, running and all I can hear is shouting all around me. I hear Cato yelling at Whytt and Whytt yelling at Cato and Anne yelling for me.

I rush to the banister and look over. My heart squeezes in pain. Cato has Anne at his feet, she's crumpled there bleeding and moaning. No. She has her hand to her face, trying to stop the blood that is gushing between her fingers.

I'm running. I run down the stairs, jumping over the banister halfway down. I land on my feet in a crouch, my hands reach blindly for my bow but it's not there. I can't protect her!

"Cato, you promised me!" I scream at him and he looks wildly at me, the medicine dancing crazily in his eyes. He has a sick, crazed look on his face that freezes me with dread.

Whytt is standing helplessly by, his gaze fixed on poor, helpless Anne. My heart constricts in my chest—I had told her to come home. That she would be safe here. I promised her that and she trusted me. I slowly walk over to stand next to Whytt, never taking my eyes from Cato's.

"It's over Katniss. Snow has fallen. They are going to take you from me and it's her fault that they know," he yells and points an accusing finger at Anne's motionless body.

I take a step toward him and he jerks Anne up against his chest. Her wide eyes find mine, pleading for me to save her. Adrenaline pumps through my body and my breath quickens as my finger itch for my bow. They twitch helplessly by my side. Anne starts to cry while mumbling an apology to Cato. I talk above her.

"Cato, it doesn't matter. I won't go. I swear to you I won't," I try to appease him but it's not working.

He looks at me, uncomprehendingly and I step towards him, my hand outstretched. His look is dazed and when he looks at my hand, he seems to almost look through it. When I take another step forward, he jerks back.

"Stay away, Katniss!" he screams and tightens his hold on Anne. She screams and Whytt turns white beside me.

"Cato, listen to me. I promise you I won't leave. We can stay here together."

"No you can't," he whispers.

"Why not, Cato?" He doesn't get a chance to answer.

There is a crashing behind me and I scream, knowing that this is it—this is the end of everything. Wind roars into the house and whips my hair wildly about my face. My eyes join with Anne's and we look at each other. She has a sad look in her eyes and I can see that she has given up. I jump forward but it's too late. Cato wraps his hands around Anne's head and jerks his arms violently to the side. There is a sickening crunch and Anne falls to his feet.

Screaming. It fills me up and breathes life into my shocked limbs. I go into a fit: I try to run at him but Whytt wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me back.

"No, Katniss! He will kill you!"

My elbow knocks him in the face and he drops me, clutching his hand to his face. It's enough to snap me out of my rage. I stop as things spin out of control around me.

Pounding footsteps fill my ears and I look behind myself to see peacekeepers pouring into the house into the entry way. It's just like my dream but this time I'm not looking for Cato—I'm running from him. I turn my head to see that he is looking at me. He steps over Anne's lifeless body and comes towards me, his eyes pleading for me to stay with him.

The choice. It dances before me wildly. I can go to him or I can go with the peacekeepers. It should be an easy choice but something makes me pause with indecision. Memories flood me: the snow fight, the sex the other night, his smell. I look behind me and peacekeepers are charging at us, yelling unrecognizably.

I realize then that the choice really comes down to Cato or Prim. With one last look at Anne's dead body, my eyes meet with Cato's and he sees my decision there. His face fills with rage, his fists cleaning in anger. He runs at me, and I step back into a rushing crowd of peacekeepers as they pour into the living room.

Cato throws a punch and knocks one out but there are more behind that one. He snaps the next one's neck and drops him to the floor. But there is a mass of them coming at him and he is no match for their numbers. He screams out my name and falls under their weight as they tackle him.

I feel hands on me and I turn, ready to defend myself. A peacekeeper throws his hands up and backs away. I'm ashamed that my instincts got the better of me and I let him pull me out of the house with a heart that is as dead as the girl lying on the living room floor.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen—Peeta and Prim's Struggle

 **Peeta's POV**

My feet crunch over the gray snow as I slowly make my way to the bakery. I had just dropped off some bread that I had made yesterday at the Everdeens' household. I had been disappointed to find that Prim wasn't there—she is out gathering herbs. I know better though, she's really out bothering the head peacekeeper again.

A whistle blares into the early morning air, announcing a new shift in the mines. Birds flee from the trees, upset at the offending sound of the horn. Fog hangs thickly in the air, pressing down on my shoulders as I watch Haymitch stumble drunkenly and fall into a dirty snow drift on the side of the road.

"I see her too, Peeta," he calls out to me. His voice is muffled because it is buried in the snow. I rush to his side and pull him up.

"I see her. Every time I close my eyes," he slurs at me and the smell of alcohol assaults my nose.

"Okay, I know you do," I mumble reassuringly as I help him to his feet. He pushes away from me and stumbles on towards his house. Ever since he had come home from the last hunger games, he had gotten worse. He would get drunk and go around talking to people that only he could see. He would go to town square and start mumbling. When people asked who he was talking to, he usually replied.

"Katniss, you dip shit." After that occurred a couple of times, people just stopped asking. I watch as he disappears around a bend in the road and I turn, once again on my way to the bakery.

I pass the mines and I stop to watch. I see a group of black, coal-encrusted miners climb wearily from the mines to trudge their way home. Clean miners are slowly filing into the mines to replace them. I once again I thank the stars for being the baker's son. I wouldn't survive if I had to go into the mines.

My heart went out to all the people whose loved ones died in the mines or because of the mines. Here in district 12, the most common causes of death were: starvation, lung disease (caused from the coal dust), or being crushed to death in the mines.

My mind jumps to Katniss like it does every single day about a hundred times a day. I know that I should try to move on, that she's not coming back but I just can't. I was doing an okay job at it until the victory tour happened all those months ago and I _saw_ her on that train, looking at me. Her eyes had lit up when mine met hers but then she disappeared. After that, I knew I would never get over her because she was alive and with that monster—Cato.

After my desperate dash to get to her, the peacekeepers had held me in a room at the justice building all night, afraid that I would go after Cato. They wouldn't listen to me when I had told them about what I saw. The next morning they had released me and I walked to the bakery to find Prim sitting on the steps waiting for me.

She was hunched over on herself, shivering underneath the pointed icicles that hung from the bakery's awning. She didn't have a coat on and her hair was a complete mess. The pigs snorted in their pin and she shivered miserably. I could see that she was crying. My heart broke a little more for her like it did every time I saw her.

"Hey, Primrose," I called out to her and stomped up the steps, knocking snow from my shoes, to unlock the bakery door. I knew that family interviews were coming up within the next days so I figured she was upset about that in combination with having to see Cato yesterday. After the victory tour, the Capitol sends reporters to start gathering film on the family of the fallen tributes. They show the family stories the month after the victory tour ends.

Prim wiped at her cheeks. "Hey, Peeta. I was wondering if you needed any help baking the cakes today."

I smiled. After Katniss died, I made sure that Prim and her mom had something to eat everyday even if it was just bread. Eventually, Prim started to hang around the bakery, chatting to me. That gradually developed into her helping me when her mom didn't need it at home.

The door of the bakery dinged over head as I pushed inside. The door grated over the wooden floors and I gritted my teeth—that door really needed to be fixed.

"Yeah, Prim, I could always use your help."

She smiled, bounded up the stairs and followed me to the back while I fired up the ovens. She sat on a bar stool, her elbows resting gently on the island in the middle of the kitchen. She had a slight frown on her face.

I knew she was probably upset from yesterday and my response to seeing Katniss probably didn't help. At least, I could have sworn that it was Katniss. It was a tough call—the person I had seen had been terribly beaten and was swollen but the underlying facial structure had seemed so Katniss that I had snapped and tried to get to her.

"I'm sorry about yesterday, Prim. I could have sworn that I saw something and I just snapped. I didn't mean to make it any harder on you."

She looked up at me, biting her bottom look, her frown growing more pronounced.

"Did you think that you saw her, Peeta?"

I sucked in a breath, not sure if I wanted to get her hopes up. She jumped off the stool and came to stand before me.

"Peeta, tell me the truth. What did you see?"

I shook my head, not in a denial but trying to clear my head. What should I say to her?

"I'm not quite sure, Prim."

Prim frowned and looked at the floor. I could see that she was disappointed. She wanted to say something but was unsure of herself. I waited, not wanting to pressure her.

"Peeta, I saw her yesterday. At least, I could have sworn I did but it seemed like it was all a dream…" She trailed off and bit her lip again.

I looked down at her, frowning slightly. This couldn't be happening. Could that have really been Katniss? Part of me was convinced that there was no way it could be but now that Prim was saying it too…

"What are you talking about, Prim?"

She didn't need any more prodding than that. She eagerly jumped into her story:

"The last thing that I remember for sure is being at home with mom and Buttercup. Then this guy named Brutus showed up and told mom that I had been summoned to the train. She started screaming—I don't know why. She kept saying something about that monster touching me. Anyway, Brutus gave me a shot and then everything turned funny. I woke up and I could have sworn that Katniss was right there, talking to me. But it wasn't really Katniss—her face was so swollen that I couldn't recognize her but her voice was the same. She was holding me and rocking me. I fell asleep and then later I woke again and she was there telling me she loved me. I know that it was just a dream but it was so real, Peeta. I wish that it was real." Prim had tears streaming down her face and I just knew—Katniss was alive.

I knelt down in front of her, hope splitting my face with a grin.

"Prim, listen. I'll tell you what I saw. When I was leaving the platform, I looked in a window on the train and I saw a girl there. She was bruised and swollen but she looked so much like Katniss that I started freaking out."

Prim's eyes lit up with excitement.

"Peeta! She's alive!"

I frowned. Yes, she was alive but there was nothing that we could do about it.

"Peeta, don't look like that. I have an idea. My family interview is coming up and I'm going to tell them about what I saw but I'm not going to be enough. You have to come with me and tell them what you saw too."

It could work—it wouldn't be enough but we had to start somewhere.

"That could work and I'm sure the reporters will just chalk it up to us grieving and wishful thinking. But that wouldn't matter because at least we would get the idea out to the other districts. However, you know that they won't let me be there—I'm not a part of the family."

"That's simple; I'll refuse to do the interview unless they let you be there."

And so it was that just a few days later, I was sitting down with Katniss' family at the interviews. Naturally, they didn't believe us but that didn't matter because the word was out there and people would be watching. But it wasn't enough. We needed more help.

A few days after the interview, I found myself outside of Madge Undersee's door. She opened it and gasped, her eyes were red and I knew that she had been crying. Everyone knew that she had had it bad for Gale. I knew that this was going to be hard for her but I figured she'd help anyway.

"Madge, I need your help."

She wiped at her eyes and smiled pitifully at me.

"Come on in, Peeta."

Her house was grand but that was to be expected since she was the mayor's daughter. It was big, bright and open. She led me to the kitchen. The granite counter tops gleamed and it smelt of peanut butter toast even though it was close to dinner time. As I sat down, she poured us some lemonade.

"How have you been doing, Madge? I've missed you in school," I said gently and it was true. She was a smart girl and her insight was missed—without it, discussion time was slow and boring.

She sighed, her breath hitching in her throat.

"I've been better but I think it gets easier every day that passes."

I smiled and reached my hand across the table. She lowered her eyes and smiled. I pulled my hands back and stared at the clock on the wall, not sure how to bring up why I was there.

"What do you need Peeta?" she asked quietly.

I took a deep breath knowing that this was going to be hard for her.

"Madge, I don't know exactly how to say this and I wouldn't be here unless I didn't desperately need your help." I paused and she watched me cautiously. "Katniss is alive—Prim and I both saw her. In the interviews, we mentioned seeing her but it won't be enough. We need your help too."

Madge's eyes grew wide; she knew what I was going to ask.

"Madge, I know you have some friends over in the other districts because of your dad's job. Can you please get word to them and have them spread the word around? We need to get her home. Prim and I figure that she's stuck with that monster from two."

Her lip quivered and I knew she was wishing that it was Gale who was still alive. I moved to sit beside her and pulled her into a friendly hug. It felt awkward to me but she melted in my arms, needing the comfort from another person.

"I know it hurts, Madge. But we both know that he would want her home," I whispered down at her head.

She pulled away from me and nodded as tears splashed onto her clasped hands. She knew what to do and I left her, feeling as though a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Maybe bringing Katniss home was actually possible.

The shrill mine whistle cuts through the air, breaking me from my thoughts. My feet crunch over the snow as I hustle to the bakery. Even though it's been four months since the victory tour, I am still fighting hard to get Katniss back. I'm obsessed with it—I'm always thinking of new ways to get the word out and when I'm not at the bakery, I'm with Prim or Madge talking about ways to get the word to spread even farther.

At first, we thought that the peacekeepers in our district could be of some help to us but that was a flop. I had given up going to the head peacekeeper for help because he simply laughed at me and sent me on my way. Prim, on the other hand would not leave the guy alone. Every morning she was on his doorstep, chatting his ear off about her sister as he walked to wherever his post was for the day. The kid has spunk and I admire it.

I round the corner and see that the bakery's light is already on. My heart drops, my mom is going to be pissed. Sure enough, as soon as I step through the door and into the smell of baking bread, she starts to nag.

"Peeta, I know you _think_ you saw that Katniss girl but honestly, you are embarrassing me. Your head is always stuck in the clouds these days, thinking of ways to get her back. You worry me, son. You have to know that deep down, she's not really alive. We all saw her die during the games. You need to pull yourself together and quit slacking off."

Silence fills the bakery, my dad having stopped the pounding of the dough to listen to our conversation. He is on my side but we both agree that it would be best for both of us if mom didn't find that out. I frown at her.

"Mom, all we saw was her going over that waterfall. We didn't see anything else—we only heard the cannon go off. The game makers claimed that they couldn't find her body—that it was trapped somewhere in the river but that's bullshit and you know it. You know they inject trackers into every tribute's arm. They could have found her if they wanted to."

My mom sniffs, clearly showing her disappointment in my lack of faith in the Capitol. My dad simply laughs from the kitchen and joins us in the front. At least he believes me—if he didn't I don't think I would be able to take my mom's stupidity.

I know I'm not wasting my time either. I have heard the rumors—the ones that my mom vehemently denies. There are talks of a rebellion. Madge gets me all the details. People are starting to believe my and Prim's story and they are mad that they were tricked. The most compelling evidence is that in one of the victory tour stories, you can even see a girl in the window of the train. It confirms my story and builds suspicion in many people.

The door jingles and Prim walks in, bringing in the chill from outside. She smiles at me, her cheeks and nose a bright red from the cold.

"Hi Mr. and Mrs. Mellark, it's good to see you again," she calls out cheerily. Her happiness makes me suspicious. I haven't seen her happy in a long time.

My mom sniffs and ignores her—she never did like kids. My dad on the other hand lights up like a light bulb. He crouches down and smiles broadly at her.

"I picked something up for you at the store the other day, Prim."

He holds out a fist and Prim rushes to him, prying at his fingers trying to get to the prize that is hidden in his smooth hands. Finally she pries his fingers apart. She gasps as she sees the baby blue ribbons that are curled in his hand.

"Oh, Mr. Mellark, they are _beautiful_ and will look perfect at the end of my braids. Will you put them in my hair for me please?" She turns so that her back is to him and waits patiently.

My dad blushes at her enthusiasm. He has never been good at handling compliments or sincere emotion—it always made him uncomfortable which is why he is so happy with my mom. She's always a bitch to him and so he ignores her in return. It's not the kind of marriage I would want but it works for them oddly enough. My dad quickly ties the ribbons at the ends of her braids and she smiles brilliantly up at him and he returns the smile. He sure does have a soft spot for her.

She turns to me, excitement bubbling in her blue eyes.

"Peeta, can I watch you frost the cakes? I promise I won't distract you too much."

I smile.

"Of course you can. Have I ever said no to you?" She smiles again and follows me to the back.

"I was with the head peacekeeper today," she says and I nod absently mindedly as I gather what I need.

"Peeta, pay attention to me," she demands with her hands on her hips and her little foot tapping against the rough wooden floors.

I laugh at her. "Okay, Prim, tell me how did that go?"

She beams. "Oh, pretty much the same. He refused to listen and when I asked him about the rebellion he refused that anything was wrong of course. Except I _know_ differently."

I look at her slyly. What is she talking about? What does she know?

"Peeta, I was standing outside his door and was eavesdropping. I heard the radio in his house. Peeta, you aren't going to believe this!" She bounces in her excitement and I wait for her to go on.

"Believe what, Prim?!"I ask her.

"Snow fell." She whispers and I stare at her in shock. My first thought is that she is telling me that it snowed but that doesn't make sense. Then it hits me. She's talking about President Snow.

"Wait, what?" I roar and she smiles, tears glistening in her deep eyes.

"How? When? Where?" I ask but she just shakes her head, grinning like a fool. That's when we hear the whistle—this time it doesn't come from the mines, it comes from a train.

We both frown and walk to the window, peeking out at the tracks. The shipment of coal happens on Fridays, not Wednesdays. Why would the train be here already?

Prim gasps as she sees the train. It's a Capitol train.

"Are they shooting another story?" She asks softly.

"I don't know, Prim, but this sure is weird."

The train settles at the station, steam pillowing from underneath it and Prim and I step out onto the bakery's porch, shivering from the cold. Peacekeepers rush towards the station and a crowd of reporters gather there. What is going on?

A door on the side of the train opens and Effie Trinket steps out. Prim draws closer to me, linking my hand with hers. I know she's thinking about the reaping and I pull her close to me, putting my arm over her shoulder. My dad steps out of the bakery behind us and I can smell cinnamon floating off his body.

"What's going on Peeta?"

"I have no idea, dad."

That's when we see her. Prim gasps and stands stock-still beside me.

"I'm dreaming," Prim whispers before everything erupts into chaos.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17—The Road Home

As I'm being pulled towards the door, all I can hear is buzzing and for a second I think that I am back in the arena and that tracker jackers are chasing me towards the river. Once I step into the big crowd of peacekeepers that are swarming outside, a deathly silence falls over the crowd. The only thing that can be heard is Cato's screams from inside the house. His screams tear at me until I am nothing, until I see nothing. I only feel—emptiness, sorrow, fear, confusion, anxiety. I feel all those things but deep inside of me something is building and I don't recognize it. It's not until someone passes by me and says something about district 12 that I realize that it is happiness—not the normal kind but the kind that you feel while you are utterly hopeless and fucked up.

Someone wraps a blanket around my shoulders and I realize that I am cold. Wind is tearing at me and I'm not wearing any shoes. My feet are frozen blocks on the rough cement but I don't care because from the doorway comes a huge group of peacekeepers. In the middle is Cato. He's in handcuffs and he is being hauled from the house. His eyes meet mine and the breath is stolen from me. I start to tremble but I don't move from my spot. I watch as he is shoved into the nearest tank looking truck. The door slams and I'm released from his spell.

I shiver as pain shoots up through my feet. My teeth chatter audibly. I look around the driveway and remember Anne's excited face as she ran into the house not even thirty minutes before. Pain bursts in my heart and I sob. I caused her death. I told her to come home. Tears are running down my cold, numb face. Regret steals through my body and I wish I could turn the clock back but I can't.

People mull around me but don't come near—I am in a bubble, in my own world and no one dares to come near the monster. Only one person is brave enough to intrude. Whytt comes up to me and I bury my head in his chest and I cry. I cry because I'm scared of going home—scared of how Prim will look at me. I cry because I killed Anne even though I tried my hardest to save her. I cry because part of me longs to go to Cato because he would understand the darkest part of me. Whytt kisses the top of my head and rubs my back.

"Katniss, let's get you into a car. You are frozen. I don't want you to get sick." He pulls me towards the trucks but I pull away.

"I need to get something," I run, dodging peacekeepers as they grab at me. I hear shouts but I don't stop as I run into the house, past the dead girl lying on the living room floor, and up the stairs. I'm in my old room, tearing drawers apart as I look for it. Finally my hand brushes against it.

It is cold against my frozen fingers and the needle on the back of it pricks my finger but I don't pull back because I welcome the pain. I grab the gold pin in my hand and let out a shaky breath. I slip my good luck charm into my pocket and turn, taking in the room around me. This will be the last time that I see this room and the knowledge of that tugs at my heart unexpectedly.

I can still see Anne lying on my bed, laughing at all the clothes that Cato bought me. I can see the indention of Cato on the bed. I go over and sit on it and close my eyes as his scent fills my nose. Memories of Cato and I together fill my head and it hurts. I try to replace the longing I feel by thinking of him raping me—the pain, the sadness, the roughness of it all. I shouldn't be sad. I should be happy. I know that but for some stupid reason I feel sadness too. I jump when someone clears their throat from the hall. I open my eyes and see Whytt. His image blurs slightly and I'm shocked to find that I am crying again.

I stumble to my feet and let him lead me downstairs. I glance in the living room to see that someone has covered Anne with a sheet. Whytt tugs me away from the scene and into a waiting truck.

* * *

I pace the room in the justice building like a caged animal. I am ready to leave; I need to get out of this district—away from Cato. Every time someone passes by in the hall, I freeze, afraid and somewhat hopeful that it will be Cato taking me back home to him. But every time it's not him and no one comes.

The fireplace crackles and throws shadows all throughout the dark room. It has dark wood furnishings, dark brown curtains hanging from the window, and dark rugs covering the dark wood floors. This room matches me perfectly—dark.

Whytt sits in a chair before the fireplace, watching me pace a hole into the floor. He has already tried to get me to sit and be patient but I refuse. A gradual hunger is building up in me and soon it is all I can do to control myself. I am hungry—starving, actually—for Prim: To see her face light up in recognition and joy, to feel her arms around my neck. I need that and sitting here, waiting for no good reason is keeping me from that. As that hunger famishes my body, at the same time an insecurity so strong ravages me, making me weak. What will Prim think of me now that I have killed people—especially when I killed that one boy so brutally? Will she be able to tell that just the other day I had given up her memory? Will she know that I had turned my back on her? That I had been fine with staying with Cato?

The door opens and I grow rigid with apprehension. A woman who is about fifty steps in and I stare at her with distrust in my eyes. She has gray hair that falls to her shoulders stiffly. It looks like if I were to take a hammer to it, the hair would win. She stares at me and I fight the urge to shuffle uncomfortably under her gaze that seems to see straight through me.

"Who are you?" I ask her harshly.

Hey gray eyes narrow on me and I almost regret speaking.

"I am President Coin and you will talk to me with some respect, little girl."

I laugh and she looks astounded.

"I may be young but I am not a little girl, woman. I've been through things that you can't even imagine. You will get my respect when and if you earn it."

"You are a big talker, Katniss Everdeen but do you realize that I am the person who gets to decide if you go home or not? I can easily have you stay here with Cato."

I laugh, calling her bluff but my heart still does a flip and I don't know if it's from apprehension or from hope.

"I'm sure that Panem would just _love_ to see that. Do you realize that I am the figure that started the rebellion that got you the presidency? When the public found out where I really was, they got angry and they turned to you. Don't think that they won't turn on you if you don't let me go home."

I smile sweetly, pleased that I have the upper hand. She nods briefly, acknowledging that I am right—Panem wouldn't like that at all.

"Okay, let's get down to business so I can get back to the Capitol and you can get back to your district."

She sits down and gives Whytt a weird look when he shuffles in his chair.

"Who are you?" she asks him. Her tone clearly states that he is of no importance to her.

"He saved my life many times. He can stay."

Coin shrugs her shoulder as if she couldn't care less. I shove myself in beside Whytt in his small chair, relieved as his body heat sinks through my clothes and warms me up. I hadn't realized how cold I was until now.

"So, we are going to send you home on a Capitol train, you should arrive home in a couple days. I've thought about it and you will be staying with your family in the victor's village. You'll be given the same perks as a victor would be given even though you technically didn't win the games."

I shift in my seat, not caring about all of this. I just want to go home.

"So does that mean that I don't have to do any interviews? Cause I really hate those things."

Coin laughs cruelly.

"Are you daft? Of course you'll have to do interviews. The public is going to eat that up and it will be good for my public opinion. When you get home, there will be reporters waiting. You are to answer their questions. Later, there will be more formal interviews but I'll send you word about those later."

I just nod, not caring about all that right now. Prim is all I care about but suddenly Cato jumps into my head, pushing Prim from my thoughts.

"What is going to happen to Cato?"

"He is of no concern to you, Katniss. Enjoy your time away from him and try to forget."

I bite my lip. I know that there is no way I can forget what I've been through.

"Okay, now listen closely to what I am about to say and understand that I will not allow a refusal to the position I am about to offer you."

I nod my head again. Obviously, I don't have a choice.

"During the next hunger games, you will be a mentor along with whoever is your district mentor now."

I shoot from my feet. The _next_ hunger games?! Anger pounds in my head and my vision blurs.

"You're not getting rid of the games?" I yell at her. My question echoes around the room and soon the door opens, peacekeepers rushing into the room to stand between Coin and I. She stands and brushes at her skirt. She fixes her cold gray eyes on me.

"Of course not; it is a tradition and a reminder that the districts shouldn't rebel."

"But the districts rebelling got you your position," I argue pointlessly.

"Oh my dear, it was more of the Capitol citizens that rebelled than the districts. Do you think I actually care too much about the districts? No, as long as they do what they are supposed to, I don't care."

I am shaking with rage. Coin stares at me a second longer before she leaves the room, her entourage of guards huddling closely around her.

I turn to Whytt, shaking violently. He comes to me and hugs me.

"It'll be okay, Katniss," he whispers.

"I can't do it, Whytt, I can't advise tributes on how to win when the odds are most definitely not in their favor."

"I don't think you have a choice, Katniss," he whispers.

I feel sick but push it away. I don't need to worry about that yet. I have half a year until I'll need to deal with that. Whytt continues to rub my back and I start to relax.

"Stay with me, Whytt. Please stay. Come to my district with me. I'll have plenty of room for you in my house."

Whytt looks down at me, shock on his face and indecision in his dark eyes.

"I know you probably have family here but I need you, Whytt. I won't feel safe unless you are there."

He doesn't say anything to me for a long time, he simply looks into my face and then:

"I suppose you'll need someone to protect you from all your crazed fans," he murmurs. I squeal and throw my arms around him.

The door opens again and I turn and freeze in shock. Before me stands a lady with a light blue powdered wig that towers atop of her small head—it's Effie. Her skin is a light shade of blue. Her eye lashes are so long, they go past her nose and her lips are lined with an unnatural shade of blue lipstick. My eyes meet hers and a tear slips down her blue cheek. She is wearing a blue dress with a collar that completely swallows her small, dainty neck.

"Effie!" I cry and I throw myself at her, burying my head in her ruffled collar.

I didn't care much for her before the games but now I couldn't be happier to see her.

"Oh, dear, dear," she cries as she wraps her arms around me and pats awkwardly at my back. "My, my, Katniss, you really are wreck. Just think: people are going to see you looking like this when we get to 12. Oh, I'm going to call Cinna to fix you up as soon as we get you home."

I smile at her and hug her tightly. It is good to see her even if she is shocked by my appearance.

* * *

I sit, staring at the couch. I can't help myself from doing it. It's the couch that Gale and I fell asleep on when we were traveling to the capitol. I try to remember what it felt like to fall asleep on his lap but I just can't and that makes me sad.

Whytt enters the car but I don't look at him. I frown at the couch, willing the memories to come back to me.

"Katniss, are you really staring at that couch again?" He laughs.

He laughs because he doesn't know the reason behind it and I'm not sharing that with him. I'll keep the pain I feel about Gale to myself. I want to try to keep him with me and that's how I plan on doing it. If I don't ever move on from his death, then a part of him will always be with me. Anxiety twists in my stomach as I think of seeing his family again. Will they be mad that I'm still here and not Gale? I sigh and rub my hands over my face.

The closer we get to district 12, the more I want to turn around and go back to district 2. I knew what to expect there—in district 12, I don't know what to expect. I won't be the same girl that left there and I'm afraid that people will expect me to be.

"I know you're scared, Katniss, but you'll get through this. I'll be there to help you."

I smile at him but I know that some things I will have to face myself—there are some things that he won't be able to help me with.

"How much longer do we have?" I ask. My voice is weak and flat. I am so scared.

Effie clicks her way into the room before he can answer. Whytt frowns dirtily at her. He does not like her at all. He claims that she is superficial and insensitive to what I've been through. She's more concerned with my looks making her look bad than why I look the way I do.

She likes to comment on the bags under my eyes and how my hair is thin and stringy. My skin is too pale and it looks like I haven't eaten a decent meal since I left. She says I don't sleep enough and that I need to stop staring off into space when people are talking to me—that will make people think that I am weird. It's all about image, she says.

Every time Effie starts one of her rants about me, Whytt clenches his fists and storms out of the room. I just laugh because that is Effie. She doesn't mean to be insensitive but she is from the Capitol and doesn't know any better. I know she does it out of love so I let her rant on and on.

Effie smiles pleasantly at me and Whytt relaxes against his seat, thinking that for once she won't start to nag me.

"We'll be there in a few hours, Katniss," he says to me and my heart starts to pound and my stomach rolls.

"Yes, Katniss. I really do find it a shame that Cinna couldn't fix you up before we got to your district. I mean everyone is going to see you and how you look…" she trails off as Whytt stomps out of the room.

"My, my, did I do something to offend him?"

I just laugh at her.

* * *

I stand by the train door, waiting for the train to rumble to a stop. I can hear the brakes of the train squealing wildly against the tracks and my heart does a double-pump.

Effie pushes her way in front of me.

"Let me go first, Katniss, I don't want people to faint at the sight of you. Let me warn them before they see you."

Whytt grinds his teeth behind me. I would laugh if I wasn't so nervous. Instead, I watch a fly beat wildly against one of the windows close by, desperate to escape outside. I feel the same way. I wish I could get off the train and slip into the woods before I have to see anyone. I want to reacquaint myself with the nature of district 12 before the people. Dealing with everyone's emotions and worrying about their thoughts of me is going to stress me out.

The train grinds to a stop and I can hear the whooshing as steam is released from the brakes. I start to shake and Whytt puts a hand on my shoulder. I look out the window and my eye catches on the bakery. I can see Peeta standing on the porch with his arm wrapped around someone small, his dad stands behind the two, frowning at the train.

My heart is frantic, beating anxiously against my chest. I hear the door open and Effie steps out. I can hear the reporters and I pause, wanting to prolong this moment. I'm afraid of what I will face out there—disappointment, sadness, anxiety, and anger. But most of all I fear the happiness because I can never be truly happy again. Not even Prim can make me truly happy. I'm too dark for that.

I take a deep breath and step out onto the platform. The mixture of sunlight and cameras flashing blinds me. I raise my hand, to protect my eyes and everything blurs together. The fast movements of the photographers run together and it scares me. I feel as if I'm about to be attacked at any moment.

My voice is being called all around me and I cannot get my bearings. My heart speeds in a frantic beat and my breathing is shallow. I can't do this. I need to get away. I'm about to run for it when I hear it.

My name but the voice that calls it settles me instead of adding to my anxiety. It puts my racing heart in a dead stop and I gasp as I lower my raised hand to my chest. I look around, frantic for a glimpse of the person that the voice belongs to.

I see her; she is running at me from the bakery, leaving a stunned Peeta behind. I make up my mind to run to her but Effie's hand on my arm stops me.

"No, Katniss, you have to be interviewed," I growl low in my chest and Effie looks surprised and hurt but she doesn't let go of my arm so I stay—for the moment.

As soon as Prim's feet touch the platform, I am shaking Effie off of me and I run to her. I fall to my knees, splinters from the wooden platform digging painfully into them, and clutch her to my pounding chest. I am home. I feel happiness spread through me and it's almost enough to chase my demons away—almost, but not quite.

She is sobbing against my neck, her hot tears trickling down my neck to run between my breasts. They travel right over my broken heart and I find myself wishing that her love could be enough to fix my mangled and devastated heart.

"Shh, Prim, I'm home now and nothing can take me away from you. I'll never leave you again," I whisper urgently against her hair as I stroke it over and over again.

She clings to me and I can hear the crowd behind me reacting to the scene as I hold my little sister. They coo with sentiment and I want to turn around and snap all of their necks. They make me sick.

My eyes catch on Effie's and she gives me a significant look. Right, interviews.

I pull Prim in my arms, ignoring how heavy she is to my underused muscles. I stand and look at the crowd. The cameras flash and I try to blink the dots out of my eyes.

"Katniss, are you glad to be home?" one reporter asks.

"Are you glad to see your sister, Katniss?" another asks.

"How do you feel about Gale's death?" questions another.

The reporters converge on me, asking questions over each other and I can't catch my breath. I decide just to give a statement—that will have to be good enough.

"Y-y-yes," I stutter, "I am very glad to be home. I'm glad to be away from district 2 and here with my sister. I—" I trail off. What do these people want? They want what I can't give them—they want to know how I _feel_ and I don't even know that. They want to know about Cato and I can't bring myself to even utter his name. I would break into a thousand pieces on the platform if his name crossed my lips. My life isn't some story they can use for entertainment—I decide right then and there that I won't give them anything too good.

Reporters shout questions at me and I struggle to answer them. Thankfully, I am saved from the torture when I hear footsteps behind me and the crowd grows silent. I turn and am looking at my mom.

Tears are streaming down her face and I let Prim slip to the floor. Her face is filled with shock, like she can't believe that I am actually there in front of her. She grabs onto my shirt, and sighs as she realizes that I am real and not something from her imagination. I stare at my mom and feel bad. I never once really thought about her while I was gone. I can't even begin to imagine what she must be feeling. The thought of it is enough to make me close up into myself. She takes a step towards me and wraps me in her arms. I'm stiff, not sure how to act with anyone besides Prim. It's too much and she knows it. She pulls back.

"I'm so glad you're home, Katniss," she whispers and her voice is dripping with emotion.

I smile. "Thanks mom." I promise myself to get to know her again, to forgive her for all the wrongs she has done in the past. Maybe as she gets to know this new me, I can get to know her for the first time.

I hear Effie behind me speaking to the crowd.

"Ahem, yes, yes, I think that will be all for today. Thank you _ever_ so much for your time and attention."

Slowly the crowd disperses from the station with the help of peacekeepers. They push and yell at people to get a move on it.

Mom moves to stand beside me and I'm staring at Peeta who is standing at the foot of the stairs. My face flushes and my eyes shoot to the ground. When our eyes meet, something inside of me freaks out and I can't think straight.

"Hi, Katniss," he rumbles in a deep voice—too deep. He is choked up and is fighting tears. I don't know why though. I know he said he had feelings for me before I left for the games but I would think that he would have moved on by now.

I lift my eyes and meet his. My heart thumps in my chest and my brain scrambles, trying to grasp a thought—any thought but it's no use. My mind is completely scrambled.

"Peeta," I murmur and dip my head in a greeting.

I feel a hand on my shoulder and Peeta's eyes narrow. Whytt steps beside me and smiles at everyone.

"Oh, guys this is Whytt. He stayed with me when I was—" I trail off and skip over that portion of my sentence. "He's going to be staying with us."

My mom's face drains and I know she's thinking about how we don't have any room in our small house. Peeta's eyes narrow at the guy and I know he's wondering why Whytt never told anyone about my whereabouts. Prim simply looks up at him, with aw in her eyes.

"Mom, don't worry about not having any room or food for him—we're going to be moving to Victor's Villiage. Coin told me herself."

Prim's eyes light up and Peeta looks devastated—not at where we are living but at the new addition to the household.

"Well, let's get you home then," my mom says slowly.

Peeta turns to go and I want to call to him, tell him not to go but I also want to be alone with my family. Prim takes care of it for me though.

"Peeta, join us for dinner. We can tell Katniss everything we did to try to get her home to us."

Peeta turns and shakes his head slowly, longing in his blue eyes.

"No, you guys enjoy a night to yourselves. I'll come by tomorrow morning with some bread and I'll see you then, Primrose," his eyes flicker up to meet mine and my brain empties again.

Prim's face falls but she nods. I watch as he crosses to the bakery. I owe him so much—he kept my family fed while I was gone. I just don't know how a monster like me will ever be able to repay him.

We start the long walk to our new house, Prim chatting excitedly the whole way home and Effie complaining the whole way. No one notices or comments on how quiet I am. I should be happy but after all the excitement, all I feel is tired and all I want to do is go to bed and sleep for an entire day.

I catch Whytt's eyes and he smiles softly at me. Maybe someone does understand me, I think to myself.


End file.
